Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
    lalas0306's Avatar
    lalas0306 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 23, 2014, 08:29 PM
    My husband cheated on me with a man, I feel lost.
    I have been married for 2 years knowing him for five. Just three months ago I came to find out that he cheated on me with a man. He denied it all the way but the text were really clear. He denies he's gay or bi and that he loves me and would do anything to fix our marriage. I feel nasty inside with really mixed emotions but its difficult to move on having two boys. I haven't talked to no one because it is to embarrassing. Please help :(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Jan 23, 2014, 08:50 PM
    What do you want to do about this? If he confesses to being bi or gay what would that change? Can you relate the gist of the emails that prove he actually cheated?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    Jan 24, 2014, 04:26 AM
    Being bi, or gay is not an excuse for cheating, cheating is cheating. So when you go over his emails what does he say about it ?

    So do you want him to confess and ask forgiveness to feel better ?
    It sounds like he has denied and is still free to do it, if he wants since nothing happened ?

    What do you want ?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member

    Jan 24, 2014, 06:53 AM
    I agree that cheating is cheating regardless. For the sake of your family and your boys you have to do something whether that be marriage counseling or separation. You don't have a choice here. Doing nothing will just make your feelings and anxiety about the situation worse. If he did cheat your husband and you have to work through this if that is what you both want. If he did cheat I would venture to guess this was not his first time with a man.

    Here's another issue. If you two work through this the difficult part for you is you are going to be suspicious every time he has a guy friend or he and his guy friend go to a bar, to a game, etc. That is going to be a tough one to get through.

    Being a gay man myself I have been approached by a lot of married guys. It kind of shocks me how they rationalize it in their head as not cheating because I am a guy.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Jan 26, 2014, 12:18 AM
    You and your husband need to get to the truth.

    If he is gay as you suspect, then he's gay. You have some decisions to make, and I suspect that IF he's gay, and admits to being gay, he too, will have decisions to make about his own life.

    And in addition to that, I agree with the others, that cheating is cheating, no question there.

    Please insist on counseling, alone, or with him. You need to know.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Jan 26, 2014, 03:09 AM
    If he will do anything to fix the marriage, why is he still denying this?
    Either he's not willing to do anything to fix this, or it's not really true. Can you convince us it is?
    If I felt convinced, I would say that he is lying, and the marriage is doomed. If he can't admit this then he'll just do it again.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Check out some similar questions!

Found out my husband cheated on me at our home with another man!! [ 19 Answers ]

My husband has been deployed now for three months. I have been in Florida visiting my family after having our second son. Before my husbands deployment we decided I would come home to Florida to visit family and have our son. The thing was since I was having our son two weeks after my husband would...

I feel cheated. [ 2 Answers ]

Have had terrible experiences that left me hanging. Out of experience. I have grown stronger out of it. But is this right? Almost all the people in life are there for my help. When they get better I never see them again. Then I see them with these other folks. But I am only remembered when...

Husband lusts for female co-worker--I feel lost. [ 21 Answers ]

My husband and I are having marital problems. If you would like to read our complete history see my discontinued thread, "selfish, self-centered boyfriend=selfish, self-centered husband." His problem with pornography has continued; sporadically he has been exposed. I am assuming there are other...

What movie is this? Black man and white man lost at sea in a small boat. [ 1 Answers ]

Somebody please help me with the title of a movie, more than likely a TV movie but could have been a theater movie that was probably made in the seventies. I was 9 years old in 1977 and the only scene I remember was of a black man and a white man in a small boat lost at sea and at one point they...

View more questions Search