My son in going through a divorce. He has an 11 year old daughter. He is very close to her. I am very very close to my granddaughter and am so concerned about her.

My granddaughter and I were always together. During the summer she is with me 2-3 days a week. Since the divorce started she will make an excuse she cannot come over. I have even invited her to the movies and she just says no. My son is a fireman and has her the 4 days a week on his days off. The other 3 days are with her mother. Her mother works days and evenings she leaves her with a friend as she is dating.

My son has mentioned that the past month she has been waking up crying stating she has been having nightmares. We have both tried talking to her and she will just turn her head away and say all is OK but at the same time you see her fighting the tears. I have asked her on several occasions what is wrong and that I am always here for her. Both her father and I do not know what to do or say. We do not want to make it worse for her and push her but we want to help her.

I always thought I was close to my daughter in law but it appears she wants nothing to do with me. I send here biweekly texts just saying I love and miss you but no response. I would like to keep a good relationship with my daughter in law if for no other reason then for my granddaughter but my daughter in law is very resentful.

I do not want to put any more stress on my granddaughter so I go to my sons house one a week to visit my granddaughter. We work on crafts and enjoy each other. Today I picked her up at school and on the way home my granddaughter said that her mom asked her when she was to get her report card. My granddaughter said on Thursday. Her mother then told her that she was not to give it to her daddy and to bring it home to her. My granddaughter said to me that she did not think it was right. I said I did not think it right either and I am sure it made her feel bad and placed her in the middle. My granddaughter said yes and it was hard. I told my granddaughter I was sorry and she said not to worry Meema she was OK. Well she is not OK, she is so stressed. I want to talk to her and be there for her but at the same time I do not want to put more pressure on her. Both her daddy and I just do not know what to do or how to say things to her. Please can you advise what we could or should do. Today was the first time she has said anything. My son wants to take her to counciling but her mother says no. My sons attorney says both mother and father need to agree to take her to counciling. We just do not know what to do or what to say to my sons daughter, my granddaughter.

Please thank you for any advice.