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    Lovemeluv's Avatar
    Lovemeluv Posts: 5, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 18, 2011, 03:15 PM
    How could I develop feelings for a wolf in sheep clothing?
    I meet a Pastor at a local Walmart and he approached me; appeared to be a true gentleman. He was extremely attractive and had a greay persomality. We spoke about the bible, he prayed for me, and we exchanged phone numbers. Finally, after 3 months I found ou he was married. No wedding band, but he was filled with lies, so I found out. How did I ever allow myself to get caught up with this man and develop feeling for him?
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Nov 18, 2011, 03:31 PM
    Don't be so hard on yourself. He presented himself as he wanted you to see him and there was no way you could have known differently. Unless of course you wanted to run a background check on every man you meet.

    Feel sorry for him, and even more sorry for his wife. He is a pathetic excuse for a man and husband. In one sense, you can count your blessings that you found out after 3 months and had not invested even more time and feelings.

    I'm sorry that you have had this experience. Thankfully there are great men out there.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Nov 18, 2011, 03:41 PM
    As the daughter of a pastor, I strongly urge you to report him to the board of elders at his church if he was acting immorally and unethically with you. I'm betting you are not the first woman he has done this with.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 18, 2011, 05:04 PM
    Sometimes this kind of stuff happens to us. We get blinded by our hopes and feelings and we don't see what later on seems to be so obvious. You're not the only one so don't be so hard on yourself.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Nov 18, 2011, 07:03 PM
    You were like many of us, who have been hoodwinked by a smooth talking, good lookin' man.

    But, the one thing these men have in common is that they are prepared for you, you are not prepared for them.

    Had he been truthful, you wouldn't have spent 10 minutes with him. He held the cards, not you.

    Most likely he has been more successful with some women, less with others. It's all a game to him.

    I agree that you should not be too hard on yourself. Just don't assume anything about strangers.

    And I agree, this man should be reported.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Nov 19, 2011, 07:56 AM
    I agree that he should be reported IF there was anything inappropriate that took place. I'm reading that they exchanged phone numbers. I'm reading that they met, prayed together. I see no indication that the relationship went beyond that.

    Agreed that approaching strangers in Walmart and praying for them is strange in and of itself but, again, before anyone reports anyone else I think there should be some discussion about exactly what happened between the parties.

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