Check out some similar questions!

Nj_ask · May 25, 2009, 12:21 PM

Hi,

Could you please tell me if it is possible that during the divorce process, if a spouse have a reason to believe that her husband may have exchanged E-mails and/or Text-messages of suspicious/objectionable/inappropriate nature with one or more people and if the spouse believes that knowing his electronic communication could help make her case stronger, is there any way to looked into those things? If so:

1) How would one go about making it happen?
2) How can one stop it from happening?

Thank you so much!
I'd really appreciate your help.

-Grateful

Perito · May 25, 2009, 12:38 PM

Do you have access to the computer that he sends/receives e-mail from? If so, you can open the e-mail program and look at the e-mails he/she receives.

If no, do you know his e-mail address? Does the e-mail "provider" have a web interface and are messages stored on the server. For example, in the cases of gmail or Yahoo, you can get online and see if the messages are still in the account -- if you know the username and password. If you don't, you're out of luck.

You'd need a court order to get into anything that you don't know the username/password to, and even then you might not find anything.

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2009, 12:44 PM

You can request of course that this information be supplied, though a court order. You make a motion that he supplies this to the court.

What are you trying to prove, please stop the Perry Mason type posts, it makes it very unclear, did he download porn, was he talking or texting other women about having sex.

Normally this really does not help a divorce as much as may help in some child custody issues. Normally you don't have to prove fault in a divorce any longer.

If you tell us plaining what you want this to do, and what you think it really says, we can help bettter

Nj_ask · May 25, 2009, 01:07 PM

Hi chuck,

Thanks for your reply... I think he is still in touch with a girl from before our marriage, even though she is also married now and has moved to a different country since we are together. I know he still talks to her over the phone without telling me and probably also over email and texts. (I am in Georgia by the way- if that makes any difference).
I also wonder if I get the court order... what can he do to stop me from getting to that information?

Thanks in advance!

Nj_ask · May 25, 2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by Perito

Do you have access to the computer that he sends/receives e-mail from? If so, you can open the e-mail program and look at the e-mails he/she receives.

If no, do you know his e-mail address? Does the e-mail "provider" have a web interface and are messages stored on the server. For example, in the cases of gmail or yahoo, you can get online and see if the messages are still in the account -- if you know the username and password. If you don't, you're out of luck.

You'd need a court order to get into anything that you don't know the username/password to, and even then you might not find anything.

Thanks Perito!
But what if he has already deleted everything? Can the service providers be served with the courd order to supply the information?

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2009, 01:11 PM

You could have photos of him having sex with two girls and a man, and in Georgia it really does not help, they have basic set rules on child support, on alimony and more. So again, what do you want to do, is he refusing to give you a divorce?

Nj_ask · May 25, 2009, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You could have photos of him having sex with two girls and a man, and in Georgia it really does not help, they have basic set rules on child support, on alimony and more. So again, what do you want to do, is he refusing to give you a divorce ??

No, it's the other way around... he wants the divorce but I want to let him know that he should try working things out because if he doesn't, I want to get everything I can from him so that he doen't think it's as simple as just saying-'i need a divorce and I'll get it'.
So, I want to make him understand how difficult it would be and that damage it'd cause to him.
Please advise.

stevetcg · May 26, 2009, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by Nj_ask

No, it's the other way around.....he wants the divorce but i want to let him know that he should try working things out because if he doesn't, i want to get everything i can from him so that he doen't think it's as simple as just saying-'i need a divorce and i'll get it'.
So, i want to make him understand how difficult it would be and that damage it'd cause to him.
Please advise.

You cannt make someone stay married. If he wants a divorce, in the US, there is very little you can do besides delay it.

It IS as simple and him saying "I need a divorce". All the evidence you might dig up won't change that and probably won't even be allowed to be entered or heard in court.

You are entitled to get whatever you are entitled to in your state under your circumstances. Like Chuck said... you could have pictures of him with 2 girls, another guy and a goat and it still wouldn't change what you could get one bit.

stevetcg · Jun 2, 2009, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by this8384

this8384 agrees: Yup...although I'm not too pleased with you for making me picture a goat...

I like to paint a picture...

Fr_Chuck · Jun 2, 2009, 05:00 PM

There is nothing you can do to stop the divorce, he can refuse counseling, refuse mediation if he wants to.

In the end, you can delay it for a long time ( if you have 1000's of dollars for attorneys) but in the end he will still not be living with you and do anything he wants