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    TakeJoy's Avatar
    TakeJoy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 9, 2006, 05:45 PM
    Dividing the assets "fairly"
    Anyone with experience in a no fault divorce state overcoming the presumption of equal contribution? 15 yrs husband home refusing to get a job, he called it being the homemaker. No custody issues. Never had joint assets of any kind, but due to length of marriage he's arguing that he deserves half of mine because he assumed he'd be with me forever. He hasn't worked in >25 yrs, has small private income. Any advice-ideas-experience? TakeJoy
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Sep 9, 2006, 05:55 PM
    Yes hire a good attorney.

    This is the same as a married couple where the wife keep house for all those years. ( in that case how many people would want to see her get 1/2 of everything) this time it is the man, who you allowed to stay at home and accepted that living arrangement.

    I would say everything you gained during those years of marriage is joint property to be divided.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member

    Sep 9, 2006, 08:58 PM
    Sadly I agree with Fr Chuck.

    In so many cases, the wife stays home and doesn't work, and the husband does. Then, the wife expects 50% of everything.

    Now, some of those cases, I find it disgusting, but in others, it has been justified.

    In your case, hire a good attorney. But you were married to him for 15 years. If this was such a huge problem (his not working), why did you stay with him for 15 years?

    A good divorce attorney will help you a lot in your forthcoming divorce.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Sep 9, 2006, 09:31 PM
    Yes, first sorry, I am not in my "happy" place tonight, and I did not put this in a good manner, but sadly often you can't put bad opinions in a good way.

    I know you have put up with a lazy husband for too long, you have worked hard to have what you got. And you want to keep it, I know so well that feeling. And in my opinion you deserve it, but sadly it is not up to me.

    In our wonderful world of "equal rights" courts are not taking the persons sex into as much consideration and starting to treat couples closer to equal. ( still have a way to go) in some ways this can be a good thing, esp for fathers who really want to be more of a part of their children's life, they are getting better rights in child custody and support.

    But I have also seen many courts not looking at one party different than the others in property settlement, and they will look at how long one party has been the "house keeper" and actually take that into consideration for some support from the other party to help them get back into the work force, take education and more.

    And since you were with him like this for 15 years basically you have agreed to this relationship, and can't really say you did not want it, since you allowed it to happen.

    But yes a good attorney, and if you have any joint accounts, take the money out first, or the other party will take it.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Sep 11, 2006, 07:35 PM
    Well, for the most part, he's right ; half is his. He became dependent on the lifestyle the two of you settled into as a couple, whether you personally agree with it or not and no judge is going to force him to abruptly adopt a whole new lifestyle at the drop of a hat upon signing divorce papers. The law recognizes a need to allow each spouse the chance to gradually assimilate into a life without their spouse. That's why we have alimony in this country.

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