I am a single parent and recently lost my job and husband decided he did not want us . Got a two bedroom apt in a nice area and it was all I could afford on my unemployment. Boy who three and a girl who 12. What should I do with the bedroom situation as my son has been visiting his dad half of the weekend, and two days during the week so half the time he does not share the room with his sis. Is it necessary that they get separate rooms? How do you think a judge would feel?

A twelve year old girl who is maturing needs her own space to bring friends and to just have her alone time.

I would think about putting up a partition in your room ,which I assume as the master bedroom is bigger and share with your son until such time as you can afford to do otherwise.

I believe this arrangement would be legal.

I agree with Artlady that your toddler could have his small bed in your room for the time being, with your daughter having her own room. As an alternative, you could divide the larger bedroom either for yourself and your toddler, or for the two kids.

As for court, if the issue arises I would explain that it is temporary and be prepared with figures for the difference in cost to rent a three bedroom. The figure for a three bedroom should be used in your request for child support. If you can get spousal maintenance, take it... it will help you until you have a new job.

As a separate issue, I personally feel it can be disruptive to a small child to change homes so often. You might want to ask for full physical custody with your ex paying you child support - he would perhaps see the child for a few hours during the week, and have him for overnights on alternating weekends. This would allow your child to wake up in the same home every week day and establish a routine with preschool or childcare, and then school when he's older.

I divorced when my son was 6 and we explored the idea of shared, equal physical custody with nobody paying child support but in the end it was too hard for our son - he never had his stuff at the right house, and was constantly going through this dramatic transition from one house to another. It was much easier for him to have my home as his primary residence, wake up there every school day, and visit his dad's house on weekends. In the interim, his dad came to his sporting events and had him for dinner and playtime two nights each week, which also gave me some time to go to the store, get a haircut, work on resumes or whatever I could not do with a little boy needing my attention.

With the addition of child support to your budget, perhaps you could afford a larger apartment as well.

Talk to your divorce attorney about how to address this with the court.

I agree with the others. I'd put the 3 year old in your room and let your 12 year old have some privacy.