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    Anonymous0112's Avatar
    Anonymous0112 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 16, 2014, 07:20 PM
    I am worn down and need help
    I am stuck and don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I am starting to become depressed. My mom and dad are getting a divorce. My dad has a girlfriend and they aren't even divorced yet. I hear them fight all the time and my mom. Ray herself to sleep, but she tries to hide it, they aren't directly doing it in front of me. I am trying to help out, but I am worn down from everything else. I have school to focus on, I try to help out with my five year old brother and three year old sister. I do service hours, and play in sports. I am also a type one diabetic, and my levels have not been good lately. I am 16 and need to focus more on college and what I can add to my application. We are also not a very wealthy family, and are struggling a lot with money. I am going to apply for a part time job also. All of this is wearing me down and I am trying to help, but I feel like I am losing my mind and I don't know what to do anymore, does anyone have any advice. Also, it's the holiday season and I want to try and cheer my mom up a little. Any advice on what I can give her for Christmas. Any advice would help so much.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Dec 16, 2014, 10:15 PM
    Sadly this is not something you can fix. You're a child, they're the parents, and what they do with their lives is their decision. One would hope that they'd consider their children in those decisions, consider how it will effect them, but parents, like everyone, are only human, and they make mistakes.

    Have you told your parents how this is affecting you? Have you told them how you're struggling with this, and the pressure it's putting on you? If not, it's time to do so.

    There are counselors that can help you deal with this, and I would strongly suggest counseling for you and your sibling. Divorce isn't easy on anyone, especially the children involved. There are counselors that specialize in dealing with kids and divorce, ask your parents to make this option available to you.

    You have to concentrate on your life, not theirs. Continue your studies, and your plans. Let them figure out their own lives, that's not your job. You're a child, they're the adults, and they need to learn that their choices are theirs to make, but those choices shouldn't be a burden on their children. You're not responsible for their happiness, you're only responsible for yours.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,277, Reputation: 7690
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2014, 05:10 AM
    You just stay out of it, Their fighting or drugging is just something they will do.
    It sounds like they are not separated yet. Having a girlfriend, (or boyfriend) is something that happens and may be for many reasons.

    You need to just love both of them, not take sides and just go on with what you do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,912, Reputation: 10852
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    #4

    Dec 17, 2014, 07:01 AM
    Sorry you have found out your parents are not perfect, and don't like each other very much, not much you can do about that, and its very hard to ignore, or not be affected by their bickering. It's a tough situation for sure for ANY kid to go through, and it will make you tougher. For now though the challenge is to get through it and help your young siblings get through it.

    I think writing them both a letter letting them know you love them but the fighting is hurting their kids, and its not fair of them to ruin the peace because they can't figure out how to handle their business. Reach out to a stable adult you trust and respect for guidance and support, be it a relative, or teacher, or school counselor, for yourself, so you can thrive and survive this hard situation.

    You are not responsible for their flaws, only your own, and we ALL have many, but you can get some help with yours, even if they cannot get help for theirs. It's unfair you have to grow up so fast, but realize your parents have to grow up really fast too. The good news though is you seem to be far ahead of them, and thats sad, for them, but not you.

    Good Luck.

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