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    Kuchu's Avatar
    Kuchu Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 16, 2012, 03:46 AM
    I want to die?
    I am 25 year old female.. And at present I just want to leave this beautiful world for the reason that I don't see any way where in I can come out of the unbearable pain and suffocation I am going through. I just got recently married ( 2 weeks). It was an arrange marriage. I didn't want to get married as I feared the life that follows after it, howevr for my families sake I got married. However I feel so suffocated now , as honestly there is no emotions from both side. We no where live and share relationships as a husband and wife. We definitely miss Love or affection of feelings for each other. I don't know why. I just want to be single and live a life I used to live earlier. But I don't know how. If I hint also that I want to be separated both our families will be shattered and the consequences that may follow after that weakens me. I some wer see ending my life only is the solution to this suffocation. I jusy want to come out of this fake relationship I am into... But I see no way.. Is ending my life the only solution?
    luluu's Avatar
    luluu Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jan 16, 2012, 05:24 AM
    I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Suicide is not the answer though. I am sure your family would rather you alive and maybe be dissapointed in your choice to leave the relationship than you kill yourself. And if not,then they are not a family you need in your life. I know that's hard to hear but a family loves you,cares for you and wants the best for you no matter what they personally think about your choices. Your happiness is key. We are only on this earth for a few short years and if there is a god, he or she did not put you here and create you for misery.
    You must find the courage to leave and create a life for yourself that you truly want and deserve and if your family disown you or something similair because of this, then make a new family with whoever you fall in love with. You should be free but right now you are trapped and may as well be a tiger in a cage, be strong, you have it in you... all the best and I am sending good wishes to you.x
    kkiralee1's Avatar
    kkiralee1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 16, 2012, 07:07 AM
    Do not end your life? I have no idea about this situation but all I can say is that maybe if yous get to know each other and go on a date maybe yous will fall in love or something :D good luck
    Kuchu's Avatar
    Kuchu Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 18, 2012, 10:10 PM
    Luluu you are definitely not wrong... but as you said I do need a lot of courage and strength to not only take the initaitive to come out of this suffocating relationship but also to hurt and give pain to our family members... some wer the thought of the pain they will go through weakens me to an extent that I feel that if I stand for my freedom.. am I being selfish... I agree ending myself is cowardness but I guess I still have the courage to do that.. but not the courage to hurt my family members... I know this act will also cause a lot of pain,. but at least they won't be ashamed because of me... sometimes I feel I am so cursed...
    However I would like to thank u Luluu for your warm shareing... God bless you always...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    Jan 18, 2012, 10:39 PM
    Death is never an answer, you won't just leave and be single since you are scared how it will effect your family. How do you think death would be.

    Two options, you stay married, the man is also new at this, and "love" often really does grow. He may be as scared at this as you are, or he is listening to his dad perhaps getting bad advice. Sit down with him and tell him your needs and what you would like in life.

    Other option, move out and move on your own, yes of course you will lose most of the relationship with most of your family, but you will move in a direction of your own life under your own control. * if you did this, would your life be in danger from your family*
    ver0nica's Avatar
    ver0nica Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jan 19, 2012, 01:42 AM
    Life is precious
    fj67shelbygt500's Avatar
    fj67shelbygt500 Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Feb 9, 2012, 11:33 AM
    Don't wish your own death. Life is full of beauty and by you telling your parents that you want a divorce and tell them the truth about how you feel would be better for them than to see you take your own life. I had the same mentality as you and I'm a guy, but what I did was I left everything behind and moved to a San Francisco. It takes a lot of guts and strength to do something like that but with time you realize that you are stronger than you actually think and that you did the right thing. You don't have to be trapped in the world that misery that you are now. All it takes is will power and desire to live a happy life. Don't do it for your parents. Do it for you. To live a Long happy life.
    baldskullcap's Avatar
    baldskullcap Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Feb 25, 2012, 09:42 PM
    I think you may be overstating the situation concerning your family. You shouldn't allow anyone to have that much control over you. Don't let anyone live your life for you.
    knight_1234's Avatar
    knight_1234 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 6, 2012, 10:14 AM
    I can understand your problem it is not easy to happen in one day it takes time all I can say is please be patient and try to change your mindset make some friends and tell them to every thing and get relaxed try interact with your husband take help of your friends by taking there advices all I can say please don't worry you can make it
    will2fly's Avatar
    will2fly Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jul 30, 2012, 08:03 PM
    Deep within each of us is a yearning for completeness,true love is part of that completeness.You have been thrown into the dungeon of your parents traditional beliefs that only creates a measure of completeness within themselves. Your completeness is not the center of an arranged marriage. Death, now appears to be a better option then to face the disappointment of those you love or to accept the injustice of your imprisonment. Courage is a sword that when brought out creates the battle line to ones independence. If you stay, children will come along and give some relief as you encompass them with your missing elements of love. Remember,if you choose to leave that true love is not guarantee. Whatever you decide to do decide to do for yourself... Fight for love in your marriage or fight for independent adventure. This in your own destiny... either way power will be yours when you stand up... You can do this! Choose your path smile, love, and reach... Remember to take A.I.M. Aspire,Inspire,and Maximize your life... Live... You can do this
    ver0nica's Avatar
    ver0nica Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Aug 6, 2012, 10:04 PM
    Kuchu, still around? Hope you're alive and wondered how arranged marrriaged turned out after 6 months or a year or so. 2 weeks was way too early to tell. Did you learn to love him?
    Shinitagari's Avatar
    Shinitagari Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 12, 2012, 06:40 AM
    Don't even begin to think you want to die.
    No matter who you are or what has made you feel that way, there will always be someone worse off than you. You will never be the only person suffering, and you will never be beyond help.
    Live, and make it so others can do the same, happily.
    redlipsticklena's Avatar
    redlipsticklena Posts: 148, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member

    Aug 29, 2012, 07:25 PM
    Sometime there is no solutions. That's how I feel too. Everyone say there's solutions but really there is none for some of us. Imo this world not meant for everyone to be in it.
    save19251's Avatar
    save19251 Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Aug 29, 2012, 11:10 PM
    Life is a gift given to you. Suffering leads to englitenment. You must follow your heart but not let others determine your fate. Death is not the answer to your problem, that will only cause you more problems. Have hope in your future. Your family are not your masters. If you do not love the person you are married to then why stay in the relationship? The better option than killing yourself would be to leave him. You can find strength within yourself to endure through the hardship if you believe in something greater like a creator God. But I do not even know what cultural context you come from or which country you live in so it is easy for me to give advice without knowing your cultural circumstances. But if the law of the land says you may divorce this man, then that is what I would do. However, if you have access to counselling services, I would access them for support. Have hope. Keep the faith. Life is worth living. It is better to live than to die for you are dead for all of eternity! Seek support in the community from professionals who can help you. Seek out a self help group that can help you. Go to relationship counselling. Find something to believe in to give you hope and make life worth living. Don't base your future on what your family expect of you. Follow your own truth. Speak your own truth. Grab life and make it your own. Find people who will be supportive of you who you can trust.

    When you feel depressed and lonely, seek out friends who can help you. I hope this helps.

    new2bmore's Avatar
    new2bmore Posts: 5, Reputation: 3
    New Member

    Oct 23, 2012, 06:20 PM
    Your in a very sad situation. The easiest way out of this is not DEATH, but LIFE. LIve your life, do things that make you HAPPY. We cannot live out lives with the thought, worries and concerns of others. You are an INDIVIDUAL.

    Let go of what is paining you. LIve your life to the fullest, oneday, maybe oneday you will find that speical MAN that completes you, that makes you feel special. Today we know it is not your HUSBAND.

    Live your life for you TODAY because TOMORROW is not promised to any of us.

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