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    tikki14's Avatar
    tikki14 Posts: 53, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Dec 15, 2011, 11:12 AM
    Uncontrollable sadness
    In the last months I've seen on TV a lot of young ladies who resorted to suicide and shocked everybody for they all seemed to lead such a happy and perfect life. Most of them are supposed to have suffered from some kind of depression or have dealt with some strong concerns like aging, love life problems, loneliness etc.

    Every time I see a new case I completely identify myself with that person and looking at some of their pictures I can feel what they were hiding behind their smile. Sometimes I think I might be prone to do something similar for I feel very downhearted although everybody around me say that I should be so happy that I have everything. My family and friends are so happy looking forward to the holiday period, but I'm just the opposite. They were all so happy on my birthday, they gave me a lot of gifts, still those moments were priceless for them and worthless for me. I don't care about birthdays (especially mines). I have a lovely family, I have a lot of friends, I have big grades, people always take care of my needs and wishes, so why do I feel like crying all the time? Why can't I just be happy? Why do I feel dead or as if I wanted to die? (I'm scared of death) I really don't understand what is happening to me. Is it a sort of 'holiday sadness'? (does it even exist?)

    I probably said something stupid, but this is how I feel. Thank you for reading!
    debbiedodd48's Avatar
    debbiedodd48 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2011, 03:26 PM
    No you didn't say anything stupid. But you should talk to your family about how you feel
    poet31's Avatar
    poet31 Posts: 26, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2011, 05:28 PM
    Well, let me start by saying that I can relate to your feelings. I have been down that road before... many at time. And to be honest, I'm not particularly excited about the holidays this year. This time of year is very stressful and/or gloomy for a lot of people. There are many reasons why: financial issues, family issues, no time to get things done, and on and on. Also, the holidays are usually gloomy for me because I think back on those whom Death had divided from me. For example, "The Christmas tree is beautiful, but Grandmom can no longer appreciate this beauty with me." These are the secret thoughts we all have during times of celebration. Some people suppress them, try to bury them. Some people don't. It appears to me that you would fall in this second group: the minority. This is not to suggest that you are feeling this way because of a lost loved one. What my instinct tells me is that you are very sensitive. That's more of a good thing than it is a bad thing. I think you may also be feeling discontent with the superficial and materialistic nature of Society. Does that make sense? What you need is expression! There are many ways you can do this. Personally, I'd recommend poetry, or some other art form. I'd also recommend that you consider talking to a therapist. I see a therapist, so I can attest to the value of that. It is very beneficial to just go and dump out these sort of things and get some feedback. Life is precious! It doesn't seem like it sometimes when the black clouds come rolling in. But the clouds have their purpose. And behind each cloud sunlight lurks. Without the clouds, without blackness, darkness, what could we know of the Sun, of light, of Beauty and Truth and Love. According to the Philosophers and the Poets, we only feel sorrow where there once way joy, and we weep where there once was laughter. Each tear is a melted memory. So, what's the solution? I cannot give you the cure. There is none. We are human. We are flawed. The thing to do is live your life. Put one foot in front of the other and walk. And walk your mind! You will get through this, I know you will. One of my favorite Poets committed suicide: Sylvia Plath. Her gloomiest poems, to me, are uplifting in a way. Poetry is uplifting. Try reading some poetry. Then try writing some if you haven't done so already. Believe me, a new world will be revealed to you. There are excellent poems by Syvia Plath on you tube. I also have a few on there. You can find me at PoetryPoemsPoets's Channel - YouTube You'll also find a link to some of her stuff there. I send to you my warmest wishes. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. Peace and Love.
    tikki14's Avatar
    tikki14 Posts: 53, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 18, 2011, 02:43 AM
    Thank you, poet31! You really made me realize some aspects that upset me. I will try to express these feelings through some stories though for I'm not good at poetry but I'll try Sylvia Plath, too. I didn't expect such an uplifting answer, I thought I was the only one in this situation.
    poet31's Avatar
    poet31 Posts: 26, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Dec 18, 2011, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tikki14 View Post
    Thank you, poet31! You really made me realize some aspects that upset me. I will try to express these feelings through some stories though for I'm not good at poetry but I'll try Sylvia Plath, too. I didn't expect such an uplifting answer, I thought I was the only one in this situation.
    You are very welcome! I'm glad I was able to help. That's very important to me. Not many are "good" at poetry in the beginning. It comes through practice and dedication. Also, reading other peoples poetry is paramount to unlocking the hidden door. You see, these dreamy little butterflies, this poetry, these Ideas, they enter your mind, fluttering all throughout, from the clear, rational part, to the obscure, mysterious part. They interact, bounce around, attach themselves to Ideas already present in your mind. They generate new Ideas. Poetry enters the mind and gives language and expression to that which was previously wordless. Anyway, Sylvia is quite the butterfly, the generator. Do check her out. Peace and Love.

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