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    naby77's Avatar
    naby77 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 7, 2012, 11:17 AM
    My spouse is dying and is pushing me away
    About a month ago my husband recently found out he had cirrhosis of the liver, Hep B and C, and liver cancer, they also found a spot on his lung that has not even been diagnosed yet. He will need a liver transplant to survive. When we first found we both quit drinking and had a brand new positive look on life. We were close and I never let him see me cry. I lost my job and lost my insurance but I bought private insurance for my husband. Last week he changed, he started drinking again is constantly angry at me and has check out emotionally. He thinks I don't care and that I don't love him and he also thinks I'm just here for the financial gain which the way I see it, I'll be in debt. He's going to the bars with his so called friends and we argue all the time. It's like he's trying to kill himself before his disease. I have no clue what to do or how to fix the situation. I cry often. Please help. I know a little of how he feels but not near what I need to and I have looked on line to know avail. How do I mend or how do we mend our relationship?
    hauntinghelper's Avatar
    hauntinghelper Posts: 2,854, Reputation: 290
    Paranormal and Spiritual Interests
     
    #2

    Sep 11, 2012, 05:03 PM
    While this is not in a religious forum... I have a religious answer. There are simply some situations that are impossible with man. Knowing how your husband feels and understanding a death sentence is not something we can always fully comprehend. I wouldn't write an entire sermon here, I will only say that all healing, both physically and spiritually is found in Jesus Christ. There is no marriage to far gone for Him to help, there is no disease too far along to heal and there is not heart to hard and broken for Him to fix. You and your husband are in my prayers.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Sep 11, 2012, 07:44 PM
    First he did not see you cry ? Why not, this may be part of the reason he thinks you don't care if he has not seen you sad and grieving.

    It is common to push others away. It is hard to deal with the death of a loved one and harder to know you are going to die.

    If you don't have religious belief that you strongly believe in. this can be part of the issue of the fear, fear that it is all over.
    A Buddhist will believe they come back again, to improve their level of exsistence.
    A Christian will believe there is a heaven or a after life.

    Those without any of these will only believe there is nothing, life ends and we are gone.
    So for them, what is the use
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Sep 12, 2012, 03:33 AM
    I think it's common to be pushed away, accused of all sorts of things. It's happened to me too. Even though it hurts, you have to remain above it, outside of it, serene and sure of your love, because it isn't really directed at you. It's just anger at the world, and you are the closest person to take it out on.
    Question though - did you lose your job on purpose? He might have seen that as 'evidence' that you are just waiting for him to die. Had you kept working, it would be more like that positive outlook you both had at first that he would survive.

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