Check out some similar questions!

MamaBear1030 · Aug 11, 2009, 01:23 PM

My husband is currently stationed overseas and will be home in the next week or so. Unfortunately, his dad has stage 4 cancer and I will have to tell my husband (he doesn't know his dad is even sick) that his dad has only months to live. How do I do that?

Thanks,

Shannon

N0help4u · Aug 11, 2009, 01:32 PM

Is he in the military in Iraq or Afganistan?

I don't know when or how you can tell him but
He probably should be able to get an extended stay though because they are entitled to it in these situations.

My son is going through the same thing. His adopted mother could die any day now from cancer and I know it is weighing heavy on him while he is in Iraq

MJisastar · Aug 11, 2009, 01:32 PM

You just have to break the news to him best you can.
What kind of cancer is it? Leukemia?

MamaBear1030 · Aug 11, 2009, 01:40 PM

My husband is in Afghanistan and will be home next week. He doesn't know that his dad has cancer. This is a recent thing. I have to tell him when he gets home and we have to go see his dad asap. I'm just not sure how to break the news to him. Should I give him all the details or just start by telling him that his doesn't have very long? I'm just not sure. The cancer is in his lungs, liver and it's bad.

MJisastar · Aug 11, 2009, 01:57 PM

Oh oh my mother has leukemia, cancer is a horribly painful thing for the family and mainly the patient...
Does your husband do email or phone in Afghanistan? Because I know how you feel, if I was off fighting in the Mid East last thing I'd want to hear upon coming home is that my dad is dying. I really would email/phone him before he comes home so he can brace himself...

N0help4u · Aug 11, 2009, 01:59 PM

Yeah I was going to say it is better to wait until he is home but I just don't know because he might be upset he didn't find out sooner.

Its really a tough call.

morgaine300 · Aug 11, 2009, 11:11 PM

Just an opinion of course... it's only another week. I think it would be nice if he could be prepared, but that's also something that will weigh on his mind. Perhaps you can wait just a few more days, until it is closer to the time he will come home?

As for how much to tell him. If it were me, I think that I would tell him that it's cancer and that he doesn't have long to live. I think it's important that he knows it's cancer. You might add enough detail to prepare him for what he is going to see and experience. (I'm sure he's already seen plenty, but this is his dad.) Beyond that, simply ask him how much more he wants to know.

KISS · Aug 11, 2009, 11:25 PM

I'm going to go with wait until he is out of harms way before telling him. The news could be devastating for his judgement as a soldier. That will be the reason you decided to wait.

When he is out of harms way and on his way home you can give him the following news:

When you come home, we need to go see your father as son as possible. He is dying of cancer. I/we did not want to tell you while in Afganistan because I/we felt it could compromise your judgement and therefore your life. I hope you understand.
I/we would like to make the trip on ____ providing your arrival goes as planned.

If you can get this information to him just before he leaves, the better thins will be. He can then use that time to prepare himself.

Let him ask the questions.

Liver cancer is very deadly.

I sympathize with your family.

KISS

Jacck Brass · Aug 12, 2009, 02:10 AM

Hi guys