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    VanessaCortez's Avatar
    VanessaCortez Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 27, 2013, 07:48 PM
    My boyfriend is in a coma because he got hit by a car what can I do
    It's late at night right now and I found out my boyfriend was in a coma just yesterday when I got the message I broke done crying. I knew he had got hit by a car because he told me when he was in the hospital the first day he was OK then nothing was wrong only with injuries the doctor said he would recover from then but thing took a turn and his in a coma. I live in a different state since I had to move I'm only 17 . He's almost 18 his birthday is 2days away from today . I miss talking to him so much I don't know what to do .if I could leave to visit him I would buy I can't because of school and exams plus my step dad never liked him. Before I found out he was in a coma I worried because I never heard from any of his family not even his friends. I cried at night because I missed him. Then one day I had the worst nightmare that I was at the hospital going to see him but his mom was down stair crying and I went up to her and asked what was wrong and she had told me my boyfriend had just died I ran to his room but they wouldn't let me see him a security guy had to carry me out because I was crying and screaming . It was the worst nightmare ever. I just don't know how to deal with this . I don't know if he's going to live or die . I pray and hope he makes it but I'm scared that he won't. The doctor says he could live and that he's breathing on his own
    Love monster's Avatar
    Love monster Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Apr 27, 2013, 09:37 PM
    Omg. I am sorry!! Well the best thing for you to do is pray. And when he gets out of the coma tell him how much you love him! I know what ever mag happen happens for the best. The lord giveth and the lord laketh.. I don't mean that in a bad way! In this situation it is bad but in another situation it will be good!! Praying for u! Hope everything is okay!! :)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Apr 27, 2013, 10:21 PM
    Since you don't mention whether you're religious, or that you even believe in God, I won't mention God in my post to you.

    I am so sorry you're going through this, I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is, especially since you can't be there with him right now.

    Are you close to his family? Can you talk to them, get them to keep you posted on how he's doing?
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
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    #4

    Apr 28, 2013, 07:17 AM
    You can pray for him. That's the most you can do. Its difficult time for you. So take care of yourself. Don't take stress and hope he will improve. God bless you and him.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Apr 28, 2013, 07:56 AM
    As Alty said, without knowing your religious beliefs my only suggestion (and my husband was in a coma several times, sometimes longer than a week) you have to keep believing that he will pull through, that he will be all right.

    Do you have any means of contacting his family, getting progess reports?

    My concern with praying - and I spent a lot of time in Intensive Care waiting rooms - is that the people why prayed and prayed and then lost their loved one sort of turned against God, the fact that the person didn't survive made them think someone they were being punished. As I said, I don't know your belief system, but you can always keep believing he will be all right.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Apr 28, 2013, 08:35 AM
    I'm the kind of person who is calmed by facts, especially for medical situations.

    But since etiquette says that you aren't in a position to be contacting his family for quite a while yet, I would suggest leaning on your best friend. I hope you have one.

    Dreams are a way to sort out your life, find solutions, deal with fears. Obviously you fear him dying. Other than that the dream has no magic value.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,929, Reputation: 674
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    #7

    Apr 28, 2013, 11:36 AM
    I do wish you, and him, the best. Please Pray for him, because that's all you can do. We don't know what God has in store for any of us, and if it is His Will, your boyfriend will be OK.
    If God has other plans for him, only He knows that. You can't see him, because you are not a relative, etc.
    Call his family and ask them to keep you posted on what is happening.
    Prayer is the most powerful force on Earth.
    Another of your answers said that Prayer might turn people away from God if it doesn't work out that way they want. I sincerely believe that anyone who prays does understand that God will do what He has in mind, and not always what we have in mind.
    God bless you and him.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Apr 28, 2013, 12:30 PM
    Apparently, Fred, your understanding and my experience are different. I also didn't say everyone; I've seen people feel very guilty because their prayers weren't answered to their satisfaction; therefore, they must have been a sinner.

    But, again, I realize that's not your understanding and it's all about opinions.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    Apr 28, 2013, 12:45 PM
    Okay seriously, to those posters telling the OP to pray, show some respect to this poster and stop telling her to pray when nowhere in her original post does she mention God or a belief in God.

    Prayer isn't always the answer, especially when you're not a believer, and it's actually very hurtful when you're told time and time again to pray, if you don't believe in God.

    She very well could be religious, but until she comes back and tells us, this thread is not in the religious forum, so we shouldn't assume.

    It's very disrespectful to advise someone to pray when you have no idea what their beliefs are.
    VanessaCortez's Avatar
    VanessaCortez Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 28, 2013, 01:56 PM
    I am a religious person ,I'm catholic
    Thanks for all the advice everyone .
    I'm allowed to see him at the hospital but since I'm far away and school is not over yet it would be difficult .
    His best friend tells me everything that's happening also his older sister
    Thanks everyone
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Apr 28, 2013, 02:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by VanessaCortez View Post
    I am a religious person ,I'm catholic
    Thanks for all the advice everyone .
    I'm allowed to see him at the hospital but since I'm far away and school is not over yet it would be difficult .
    His bestfriend tells me everything that's happening also his older sister
    Thanks everyone
    I wish you the best of luck, and hope for a speedy recovery for your boyfriend.

    Keep in contact with his friend, and his family (if that's an option). I don't know where you live, so I don't know when your school year ends. But, is there any possibility of you going to visit him once school is out?
    VanessaCortez's Avatar
    VanessaCortez Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Apr 28, 2013, 10:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    I wish you the best of luck, and hope for a speedy recovery for your boyfriend.

    Keep in contact with his friend, and his family (if that's an option). I don't know where you live, so I don't know when your school year ends. But, is there any possibility of you going to visit him once school is out?
    Yes there is A possibility since we had made plans a while back for me to visit him after school was over for his birthday which is tomorrow.I think I get out of school in like 6weeks I'm not sure. And I try my best to keep in contact with his family mostly his friend though because his mom isn't around and his dad has been very depressed.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #13

    Apr 29, 2013, 07:41 AM
    I will add that when someone is desperately ill the very last thing the family needs is a lot of people calling for info, particularly if those people get upset.

    A friend or other relative might be a very good contact person.
    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #14

    Apr 29, 2013, 08:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Okay seriously, to those posters telling the OP to pray, show some respect to this poster and stop telling her to pray when nowhere in her original post does she mention God or a belief in God.

    Prayer isn't always the answer, especially when you're not a believer, and it's actually very hurtful when you're told time and time again to pray, if you don't believe in God.

    She very well could be religious, but until she comes back and tells us, this thread is not in the religious forum, so we shouldn't assume.

    It's very disrespectful to advise someone to pray when you have no idea what their beliefs are.
    Actually the OP does mention prayer in her original post. You must have missed it. "I pray and hope that he makes it but I'm scared that he wont."
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #15

    Apr 29, 2013, 08:42 AM
    What am I missing? It's a fine line, but having posted over 40,000 times I see a lot of fine lines. I see the OP praying. Nowhere do I see a belief in God, a religion mentioned. That's what Alty addressed - and Alty can speak for herself, of course.

    I said pretty much the same thing she said, and if I stand corrected, so be it.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #16

    Apr 29, 2013, 03:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by busymomma2013 View Post
    Actually the OP does mention prayer in her original post. You must have missed it. "I pray and hope that he makes it but I'm scared that he wont."
    I'm not religious, and I say "I pray that things get better" or lines like that, all the time. Saying "I pray and hope" doesn't make your religious. I'm not, and I use that phrase.

    She didn't specifically (in her original post) state that she's religious, and this post is not in the religious forum. Also, she didn't ask if she should pray, she asked for advice, and all she got from most of the posters was "pray to God".

    She has now come back to inform us that she is Catholic. Still, even then, telling her to pray and offering no other advice, isn't really helping her, is it?

    But enough about that. I was looking out for the interests of the poster, that's all. If she had specifically mentioned a belief in God or a certain religion, I would have had no problem with the posts telling her to pray. But, I know how it feels when religious people automatically tell me "Oh, just pray to God, everything will be okay", when I'm not religious. It's hurtful, and rude, and she's going through enough right now. I was trying to spare her that.

    It is now a moot point since she's provided more info.

    So, can we get back to the OP now, and try to help her with her situation?
    VanessaCortez's Avatar
    VanessaCortez Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jan 5, 2014, 10:11 PM
    Great news he woke up from the coma and doing better I actually got to talk to him Saturday night and today. He's getting out the hospital hopefully by the end of this month. We had to say good bye again though because he was only allowed to use his phone or a few days by his mom.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,278, Reputation: 5644
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    #18

    Jan 5, 2014, 10:30 PM
    He's been in a coma for almost a year? Glad to hear he is doing better.

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