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cranki6 · May 31, 2010, 05:47 PM

I have been dating this guy for 8 months and he has 5 month old twins with a woman he has been off and on with for 7 years. We have had our ups and down. We have bought marriage license and was set to get married really soon to find out the mother of the twins has a ring that she has been having for 3 years. She and I talked and she mentioned that they live together but has not had sex, not even oral in the last 6 months. He finally packed up and left and our plans continued to blossom until one day out of the blue, he said he wanted to wait to get married. He mentioned to me that the mother of the twins told him if he was with me, he could not see the babies. I'm thinking its more than that. I'm confused now to should I be waiting until he sorts his thoughts or should I just be going on with my life because of the baggage. I feel as though he is in love with both of us and has come to a crossroad. What would you guys do?

jbarnes1985 · May 31, 2010, 06:40 PM

First thing to look at here is you guys have been together for 8 months and his ex says the haven't had sex in 6 months and they live together then he is proving to you that he can not be faithful. That should be enough to walk away. The fact that he also still loves her will always put you second. If you marry him than eventually he will either cheat on you or will leave you for her completely.

"He mentioned to me that the mother of the twins told him if he was with me, he could not see the babies."

She can't stop him from seeing his kids. Unless a court system decides that he is unfit than he will at least get every other weekend with his kids and she can't do anything about that. This is just another reason not to marry you and to stay with her.

Only you can decide to stay with him or not. But you would be better of to move on with your life and find someone better for you. Someone who will be faithful to you and treat you right. He isn't the only man out there. Hope everything works out for you.

friend4u178 · May 31, 2010, 07:07 PM

Let him sort out the baggage , it's his.

I'd be out of there in a flash , so I could be with someone who would be willing to commit to me 100%.

ZoeMarie · May 31, 2010, 10:33 PM

I agree with everyone here. It sounds quite obvious that he cheated on this girl with you. The twins are only 5 months old? But you guys have been together for 8? Am I getting this right? If he can cheat with you, I doubt he has a problem with cheating on you. Kick this guy to the curb. Chalk this up to a lesson learned and don't bother to get involved with anyone that may be still attached.

talaniman · May 31, 2010, 10:42 PM

I wouldn't marry any one after only 8 months of dating, and wouldn't consider even dating someone that lives with a female that had to be pregnant when he met you.

Move on at a very high rate of speed, and don't look back.

Torrid13 · Jun 1, 2010, 11:14 AM

Get out of there lickity-split!

I don't know what rock he crawled out from under, but he can go back, baggage & all!