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    onemanarmy95's Avatar
    onemanarmy95 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 27, 2013, 06:28 PM
    Would you wait for me?
    Me and this girl like each other for a while, and by while I mean a good solid year. Only problem is I am leaving for basic training for the army in a few months. Her parents won't let her date since she is 16 but they said we could be friends. I would like to know if she would wait for me to come back from basic and resume our friendship or would she try and break it off and find another man? I'm 18 by the way.
    Zea's Avatar
    Zea Posts: 217, Reputation: 19
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    #2

    Jun 27, 2013, 06:46 PM
    No one can read her mind. You have to ask HER, she only can tell you what she wants.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #3

    Jun 27, 2013, 07:13 PM
    You'd have to ask her but I can tell you that at 16 she should be having fun, not waiting for you to finish basic training. Her parents don't want her dating and I'm sure they would not want her waiting around for an 18 year old. I think it would be selfish of you to even ask her to.
    onemanarmy95's Avatar
    onemanarmy95 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2013, 07:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You'd have to ask her but I can tell you that at 16 she should be having fun, not waiting for you to finish basic training. Her parents don't want her dating and I'm sure they would not want her waiting around for an 18 year old. I think it would be selfish of you to even ask her to.
    That's why I put this up. I'm wondering if its worth asking to wait. And my high school experience wasn't necessarily "fun" seeing that I was ignored half the time
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2013, 08:19 PM
    Just because you experience wasn't fun , that does not mean hers won't be. I don't think you should ask her to wait.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #6

    Jun 27, 2013, 08:34 PM
    She's only 16. By asking her to wait, you are asking to take her youth away. The two of you are not exclusive, heck, she's not even allowed to date yet.

    If she cares for you in the way that you hope she does, she will wait without you asking.

    Just because your experience was bad doesn't mean you should ask her to make her high school experience like yours.

    She's young. Let her be a teenager with no strings attached.

    As a mother of a teen girl myself, I would not allow this at all.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Jun 27, 2013, 08:46 PM
    If she were my daughter I would tell her not to waste her youth waiting for someone that she likely won't end up with anyway. She's 16, she's not even allowed to date. Once she is, she'll have many boyfriends before she finds the one. She shouldn't waste her teen years waiting for some guy she hasn't even been on a date with.

    If you care about her at all, let her live her life, and go out and live yours. If it's meant to be, you two will find each other again when you're older.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #8

    Jun 28, 2013, 03:07 AM
    As you get older, you will realize that asking for promises (and making promises) is just not a good idea, because most often you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
    Save promises for marriage and the decision to have children.
    While there's a time-honored tradition of the fearless soldier going off to war and his faithful woman kisses him goodby with promises of waiting, it is just a 'feel good' moment. It's just as likely to lead to heartache.
    Any man in the military (women too, more and more) needs to be very, very sure of who he is involved with to make sure she can take the pain of being home alone. That takes YEARS of knowing each other, as adults.
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