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pulie · Jun 11, 2009, 01:26 PM

My ex boyfriend and I broke up way back in 2003 because he had cheated on me, a year later he asked me out back and because I was still hurting I couldn't get back with him again because I was afraid he might cheat on me again and hurt me even more. I have tried to move on but it is just not working because it looks like he is always in my mind. I am currently dating someone and we have more than a year together and even proposed to marry me next year, I even said yes to the proposal, but the problem is I still love my ex and I am afraid to marry this one although I said yes because if it happens that he comes back I will definitely say yes to his and hurt the current one,

What is happening now is my ex calls me every now and then but just says nothing, he takes me out, offer me some stuff and he even confuses me because I don't know what is happening and what to do,he doesn't say he loves me but love to hand around with me, and always wants to see moving on and brightening up my future, all in all he wants the best for me,

Help me please because I am crushing, I love this guy but he doesn't say anything, what do you reckon I do to make him say something even if negative or positive because I want to move on with my life, I need to focus

I really need help, how do I make him say he loves me for real, because that's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with,

Advise:mad:

nikosmom · Jun 11, 2009, 01:32 PM

You said he cheated on you. What's so appealing about him- is it the fact that he has no interest in having a relationship with you?

It's been 6 years so you really should have moved on from him by now. What really concerns me is that you're in a relationship now and pretty much cheating on your current boyfriend with someone who is not going to treat you any better now than he did before.

He doesn't say anything because he's enjoying having you hanging from a string. You're a puppet to him.

Stop taking his calls/texts or whatever. The past is the past and if you're not careful you're going to lose the guy you're with now. Stop focusing on the scum that treats you poorly and put more effort into your current relationship.

rachealnakite · Jun 11, 2009, 02:00 PM

Try and forget all about your ex... he didn't appreciate you while you were still available.. someone loves you better and even goes beyond dating to wanting to marry you. Spend more tym wth yo boyfriend and less communication wth yo ex. He will never love you as much...

pookiepants · Jun 12, 2009, 09:21 PM

I joined the military to get away from my ex, just try to stay away from him for a while, as far as you can, a year after I left I hung out with him again, and had no feelings for him, but I had also met the most amazing guy in the world in the army.

nikosmom · Jun 13, 2009, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by pulie

advise:mad:

The Ex is bad news. Let him stay in the past.

pulie · Jun 13, 2009, 09:32 AM

Thank you guys, apreciate it, hope to be strong and work out my probs, Ya I agree wiyh you tha ex is bad news, bcoz we broke up way back and I can't move on, so in deed is bad news

Pulie

talaniman · Jun 13, 2009, 10:16 AM

what is happening now is my ex calls me every now and then but just says nothing, he takes me out, offer me some stuff and he even confuses me because I don't know what is happening and what to do,

What is happening is that your allowing him to come back into your life, instead of keeping him out of it. That's why you haven't moved on, or healed. YOU allow him to keep false hope alive, and those old feelings stirred up inside of you.

he doesn't say he loves me but love to hand around with me, and always wants to see moving on and brightening up my future, all in all he wants the best for me,

Again you have allowed yourself to believe his obvious lies, as he wants you where he can be close to you. That's his agenda, and motivation. After 6 years, you honestly should have seen this for yourself. Have you had sex in that time?? If you have thats really to bad as not only does it make the emotional attachment stronger, and harder to break, he is probably using you to cheat on someone else. That wouldn't surprise me at all, neither should it surprise you either. But of course your blind to him because of your feelings. Not good.

I really need help, how do I make him say he loves me for real, because that's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with,

That makes your relationship with your boyfriend a complete lie, and should be ended before more damage is done. Lets be honest, after all this time you have never healed and gotten over this fellow, and that makes you a poor partner for any one and that's not fair.

You need to cut the ex out of your life, and end your blindness to this guys lies, and deceit, so you can have an honest, HEALTHY relationship in the future.

Your hurting yourself and others by staying on the path your on.