I'm so confused and hurt by this guy. I met him on a dating site, as he pursued me. We finally met for the first time, and I went in with no intentions. Well it was better then I imagined, as we both felt so much chemistry with one another. We continued to see each other. He even cooked me dinner on our third date. Is was our fifth date and we stayed in the city, as you may be thinking yes we were intimate. We were very comfortable with each other and shared difficult personal issues that we have experienced in our lives. He couldn't wait to have me meet his friends, and discussed some future outings together. Well it's been 2 months and his calls and text messages slowed down, and had a date planned that he flaked on. The last time I spoke with he said he felt bad, and he has been so busy. I told him he could be honest and straight with me if he was no longer interested. He said he didn't want to disappear from me, he is just busy as I know he has a lot going on. So... I haven't seen him now in about 3 weeks. I checked his profile on the dating site and he changed it up in away that was a slap in my face. I don't understand when we both enjoyed everything about each other.

Some men merely do this to date and sleep with many women though the year, so after a month of "scoring" they move on.

Others are still dating others when they date you and just don't want to commit and move on when the other person starts getting too seroius.

The real answer is you will never know, since only he knows and is not going to tell you, and if you tried to find out, they would only lie anyway.

Chuck would be right. There's a lot of guys who once they get the sexual adventure or conquest, they leave. I know it's hard to believe, there's a lot of smooth talkers out there who will make you think "No way is that what this guy is after, he's too genuine" But they're out there.

It sounds to me he could actually be busy, be afraid to commit to you, or just wanted the intimacy. Basically re-iterating what Chuck said.

Thank you for taking the time to help me with this sad situation. I guess I figured it would be something as to what you said. I just didn't want to believe it. When you hear it from the outside it just makes it more concrete. I'm really getting frustration and disappointed with dating. It makes me sick to know that men (some/most) are taking advantage of these dating sites to just use women for their pleasure. They should go to sex.com and stay away from the ones that are for relationships. I wish there was some way they could screen these jerks. Thank you again for your help.

Of course, always here to help. I totally understand your frustration. I myself have used a dating site. Found nothing but women who I've met, then they've wanted to spend every moment together. Or women who just cause a lot of drama from the get go. Personally, I gave up on dating, but that's a factor as well to a few other things, I'm not saying you should.

Call me old-fashioned but one way to screen these guys is to not have sex with them until after they have shown they want to hang around and have a relationship if that is what you want.

I do not know. But 3weeks really can tell something...

You just need to move on and go complete no contact with him. I agree with the rest, that he got what he wanted and is now involved in other conquests.

Yes, he may contact you again if he gets in a dry spell and wants sex, but you need to totally avoid this man.