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    goody2shoes2008's Avatar
    goody2shoes2008 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 19, 2008, 08:03 AM
    Why do men withdraw?
    I met this guy a year ago and we have been doing the same song and dance over and over. We get along well and there is great chemistry between us - here is the problem - we get into an argument and then don't talk for a few months. This guy contacted me on Valentine's Day and we have been chatting for 3 months - it took him that much time to get up enough nerve to see me. We ended up sleeping together on that date and I haven't heard from him since. He has backed off and is now silent. I highly suspect that it was his first sexual experience with me. I waited 2 weeks and then contacted him and told him I didn't appreciate the silence from him and that I think its best we don't see each other anymore. This is not my true feelings for him of course, but I was stupid and emailed something when I was upset. In his response to me, it was clear that he was hurt and told me that he wasn't attracted to me anyway. I felt horrible, so I took a huge chance and told him how I truly felt and that I wanted to take our "dating" to the next level. I told him that we have to communicate. I haven't heard from him. Most of the advice I have is to: just wait for him or "no news is good news"

    Any advice/words of wisdom is appreciated!!

    From: goody2shoes2008
    progunr's Avatar
    progunr Posts: 1,971, Reputation: 288
    Ultra Member

    Apr 19, 2008, 11:16 AM
    You got to stop sleeping with us men so soon!

    Yeah, sure we want it, but if we are really interested in you, and you are that easy to get into bed, we probably won't be looking at you as a keeper but as a short term satisfaction provider.

    Make us work for it. We will value you more if we really have to earn the chance to sleep with you.

    I know, I'm old fashioned in that way I guess.
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
    Ultra Member

    Apr 19, 2008, 04:13 PM
    If you do reunite, expect the snits to happen in the future as well.
    MizP's Avatar
    MizP Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jun 2, 2009, 09:42 AM
    I hate to say this but he's just not that interested in you. Sounds like a film I know that's out there, lol! If he really liked you he would have made the effort to contact you first. Also contacting him when he hasn't contacted you telling him not to contact you... well that's just confusing!

    I too used to sleep with guys very early on in the relationship, well naturally I like sex and I too also wanted him to like me. Guys don't see you putting out early as a sign of your true feelings. They see it for what it is... an easy lay. If you shagged him so easily, he'll be thinking who else has she had. You have to give him a challenge and that is to conquer your trust and then your body. He will respect you more and because he worked so hard to get you into the bed, he'll work even harder to keep you!

    It is only recently that woman have become independent and sexually free. Great that it is, men are men and they like pursuing. Woman's sexual liberation has only come into effect in the 1960's in USA and really only 80's/90's here Ireland where I'm from. Yet down to basics, hunter/gather theory. Men are hunters; hence why they go for that dream job, get that car they always wanted, always want the best new accessory, toy or gadget. Woman are gathers; that's what makes us so good at shopping, organising social events or trips, being caring and understanding to needs and planning ahead into the future. It's a generalised view but for the sake of argument we'll take it that this is the case.

    Men back in the 50's when dating a woman would have to call to her house, ask her father for permission and bring her back at the designated time. They worked hard! And woman of that era got married, some happily too. Fast forward 2009... we got the best jobs, cars, accommodation, clothes, careers and respect yet how come so many 30 something's out there are single? We have it all but lets face it we would love to share that with a man. That is a normal feeling. Finding that man should not be done with the same approach as we do in our careers or outside hobbies. Try a bit of time-trusted and proven method of being old fashioned. He doesn't call you... don't contact him. Wipe that tear away and move on. Let them work for you. You deserve to have a man who would bend over backwards for you, we all do. How can he bend over backwards if you give in so easily? I usually give it 3 months wait but the wait is up to you. Usually when he's proven he is worthy of your only true possession; your body! And if he doesn't prove that, well you just dodged a bullet!

    Remember it was Cinderella who left Prince Charming lurking just as things got heated up. As a result he chased her down! Sorry for it being so long but I hope it has helped :)
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert

    Jun 2, 2009, 12:58 PM

    First off, you slept with him too soon. There was no reason for that.

    Anyway, if he's going to take that long to talk to you each time, then he doesn't really like you that much. Seems like he's only looking for you when it's convenient.

    There are other men in this world...

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