I met this guy at work over 10 months ago and well to be honest he spent most of time ignoring me. He is know for being quiet a flirt but he never flirted with me but always kept his distance, I think partly because the first day we met I helped him with personal issues he had. I don't know why but he opened up to me. I confronted him as to why he ignored me when I left the company and he never gave me a valid reason and said that he regretted what he did but he can't turn time back. I was quiet harsh with him because I fell for him and was more angry. Well anyway, when I was leaving he slowly kissed me on my cheeks and forehead. A few months later one of the girls that informed me of his reputation I bumped into whilst at a party and whilst she was drunk she confessed to me that she loved him and that he loved her and wanted her to dump her boyfriend and marry her. I was sooo upset that I saw him at the same party and confronted him. He wouldn't let me leave as he could see I was angry and he sat with me for hours swearing that he is not like that and that she is lying and that he would not ask her to marry her. At this stage the girl kept forcring herself on him and he kept pushing her away...

After hours of chatting he again told me really personal details about his life (very personal). We started to argue and banter again but he liked it as he said 'i like debating with you'. He kept twisting my words. And then he asked me whether I had a boyfriend? I said no because most men just want a one night stand he then said what if that guy wants a long term relatoinshiP... and then I told him that I heard he had a girlfriend (from the same girl who was trying to put me off) well it turned out that he never. And then he told me that a lot of men would be scared of me bt that he wasn;t and that he liked that about me.

Anyway, after us bantering with each other he started to get REALLY UPSET... I MEAN UPSET... and kept saying why don't u tell me what you thin or feel... I said to him that I don't trust or know you to tell you anything he then got even more angry... and kept saying then I don't want you to talk to you if u can't tell me what you feel or think... he kissed me when he wanted to leave (cheeks/forehead) and ran off... he seemd quiet angry I went back to apologise to him and told him to keep in touch he told me to 'keep pushing with the contact and he may get back to me' I think at this stage he just became rude because he was angry and the fact that most girls around him chase him...

Once I apologised he MADE ME promise to text him to tell him I got home safe (I think he just wanted my number) I text him and asked him whether he wanted to meet before I go to China (he knows that this will be for the next 2-5 months)... and he iGNORED MY TEXT... I mean he didn't even reply to SAY NOO...

Did I get it so wrong... and will he ever get in touch... I just don't understand why he didn't even reply... its not like we just met each other he knows me... has told me personal stuff about his life and he is not an open person. Not sure whether he is JUST ANGRY that he opened up and I never... he told me at the start that I talk about issues that are to close to his heart...

Or could it be that he was just not interested in me...

Any opinions will be appreicated. Many thanks...

It sounds like "he's just not that into you". And it also sounds like you've never been treated like that before. Is it that hard for you to be rejected?

Sure, he told you some personal stuff, and he now regrets it. But he never promised you anything, or short of the friendly kiss, never made any advances towards you.

Sometimes you've just got to say that it wasn't meant to be.

Good luck to you.

Maybe he had enough of the debate. You're leaving any way so what would be the point in chasing such an unavailable aloof female? And what if he has other options for romance beside you or the drunk girl??

Hello Jenny,

I agree with everyone else... You are leaving for months at a time. You know that, and he knows that.

Also this constant bickering and debates, is a little too dramatic. It seems childish...

I think that you should let this one go and go enjoy some nice China men!

Good luck and be safe.

Hey, believe me when I say I did not want to debate with him... he kept on trying to cause a reaction in me... and then when he got worked up he kept saying 'I LIKE DEBATING with u' its one of my weaknesses... thats his words not mind... Thanks for your advice. In regards to China, he has know from the outset that me going to China was inevitable part of my contract/work.

"Maybe he had enough of the debate. You're leaving any way so what would be the point in chasing such an unavailable aloof female? And what if he has other options for romance beside you or the drunk girl??

This guy has actually never indicated to you that he liked you.

He didn't flirt with you but you liked him, so you got your nose out of joint expecting your feelings to be reciprocated.

This is nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. Just because he told you some personal things about himself doesn't mean he's interested in having a relationship with you.

I think he didn't respond to your text because he's sick of your ignorant, self-centered behavior.

Perhaps it's time for a little reality check?

I seems that you are SO shocked that he didn't think that you were the one that he would want to be with.

"How dare he?" "He told me personal stuff, so he belongs to me now!"

His lack of interest in you has made you want him even more.

Life is full of these reality checks. Get used to it, or set yourself up for heartache.

LOL Jm, she might like the fact that you are putting her in her place.




Jenny, let me ask you something, why the strong attraction with this guy? You don't even know him that much. Is it the fact that he didn't give you the time of day? Is is that because he told you some personal information about himself? Is it that he argues with you? How come?

Hey, its difficult to explain the situation in an email. But, he did show 'signs' when even when he ignored me... he would STARE at me constantly, try and be around me, try and catch me alone so we could talk and we did talk... my friends told me that when I was away he would ask quesstions about me... that the last time I saw him... he kept saying that I should be more open to him and tell him what I think and feel that he is being 'open with me... I know he does not belong to me... believe me I do know that.. and I think what attracts me is that we do have a lot in common/experiences etc... (sorry I did not make that clear from the outset but it would have been an essay worth of a question). I do agree with you that I may have got things wrong...


Inanycase, thanks for all your advice (JM, Enigma). All taken on board.

I'm sorry to say, but I relly don't think there is anything between you... I think he REALLY is not that into you... and that whatever you think is there, isn't.

It seems as if you really want there to be something between the two of you and it seems (from how you explain things) that you have been reading way much into things. This is not that uncommon. I know several people who have done this on one point or another...

That is:

A really likes B. B isn't interested in A, but A sees signes of attraction in everything B does... but in reality A is just reading way too much into things... cause there really isn't anything there between A and B its all a fantasy.

And I know that you feel there is something there, but I really think you need to accpept that there isn't anything between the two of you... all of the things you have explained to us as signs aren't really signs. They are just signs if you want them to be...

in my opinion and from my same experience I feel some love between lines because it begins like that from men , but when you refused to tell him about oyu he felt upset and angry and he was right because men want to know first if you trust them or not before going in a relationship
so try to move on your life but if he call you make him feel that you regreted and know his value

note:
men don't tell anyone about their personal lives unless they trust them

best wishes

I am arab