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Iceman1018 · Dec 11, 2007, 12:30 AM

I have been single now for 5 months now and it seems that no matter what I do I can't seem to get a girlfriend. I think I am good looking, I work out everyday and have a nice shape to my body. I'm smart and pretty much a nice guy. Every time I think a girl is into me, it turns out to be the opposite. I either get ignored or get shot down every time. Its had to have happened about 15 times. Am I chasing after girls too much or am I looking too hard? What am I doing wrong?

Clough · Dec 11, 2007, 12:59 AM

I'm not sure what you are doing that might be turning girls off to you. It would be nice to be able to discuss this with you while being online at the same time that you are.

Maybe you are trying too hard and appearing to be too desperate for a girlfriend. Maybe the girls that you have approached can sense this and don't want a real intimate relationship with someone so soon without getting to know them first. I don't know, because I don't know a lot of facts about you right now.

Iceman1018 · Dec 11, 2007, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

I'm not sure what you are doing that might be turning girls off to you. It would be nice to be able to discuss this with you while being online at the same time that you are.

Maybe you are trying too hard and appearing to be too desperate for a girlfriend. Maybe the girls that you have approached can sense this and don't want a real intimate relationship with someone so soon without getting to know them first. I don't know, because I don't know a lot of facts about you right now.

OK you can IM me at *** IM deleted, the idea of these boards are open public discussion, not side talks that are not open for review

OlivesNCream · Dec 11, 2007, 10:12 AM

Only five months? :) It could be worse. I've been single for about six years now. [and I'm 23... you'd think it'd be less.. ] but I know the reasons behind my own misfortune.

Anyhow, it's true- perhaps the girls you are going after can tell that there is a bit of desperation behind your attempts. What is it exactly that you're doing when you 'pursue' a girl? There could be certain things you're doing- whether you do it subconsciously or on purpose-- that are reading as instant turn off signs to them. Or perhaps you're not reading their body language correctly... women-- the enigma of our population, right? [Coming from one-- irony. Haha.]

Maybe the truth is you're in too much of a hurry to get back into a relationship. Take more time to get to know a girl before deciding she's dating material--being friends for a short time first may do the trick.

Clough · Dec 11, 2007, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by Clough
I'm not sure what you are doing that might be turning girls off to you. It would be nice to be able to discuss this with you while being online at the same time that you are.

Maybe you are trying too hard and appearing to be too desperate for a girlfriend. Maybe the girls that you have approached can sense this and don't want a real intimate relationship with someone so soon without getting to know them first. I don't know, because I don't know a lot of facts about you right now.

Originally Posted by Iceman1018

OK you can IM me at Hottrodder246

Thanks. But, I would prefer to keep discussion and answers on this thread so that others might also benefit by seeing what is written. That is a big part of why I participate on this site. I think that once a question has been started here, that any responses should also remain here.

Iceman1018 · Dec 11, 2007, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by OlivesNCream

Only five months? :) It could be worse. I've been single for about six years now. [and I'm 23...you'd think it'd be less..] but I know the reasons behind my own misfortune.

Anyhow, it's true- perhaps the girls you are going after can tell that there is a bit of desperation behind your attempts. What is it exactly that you're doing when you 'pursue' a girl? There could be certain things you're doing- whether you do it subconsciously or on purpose-- that are reading as instant turn off signs to them. Or perhaps you're not reading their body language correctly...women-- the enigma of our population, right? [Coming from one-- irony. Haha.]

Maybe the truth is you're in too much of a hurry to get back into a relationship. Take more time to get to know a girl before deciding she's dating material--being friends for a short time first may do the trick.

I usually start talking to them and then I ask them if they want to hang out or go to a movie before I really get to know them. I just feel like some greater force is keeping me from getting a girlfriend.

OlivesNCream · Dec 11, 2007, 09:01 PM

Hmm... :D

Read what you just said there for a moment:

You ask them to hang out or go to a movie before you really get to know them.

There could be the problem-- the fact that they may suddenly feel pressured out of nowhere and don't think that they've known you long enough to be so comfortable to hang out with you alone.

Have you tried the option of double or group dating? Get a bunch of friends together, make it a casual thing. Go hang out, have dinner at a restaurant [nothing fancy] and then go check out a movie afterward. Or go bowling or something like that. Make it so that there's no pressure on yourself or the girl you're interested in... an open environment where everyone can have fun- and you can still have some down time to get to know each other.

kp2171 · Dec 11, 2007, 09:34 PM

It might not be you at all...

I went, once, almost 2 flippin years without a date... partly cause I was a headcase after a BAD breakup, and partly cause there was nobody interesting or interested.

Then, of course, it was feast, not famine. I suddenly had three different girls interested in me and I had the "problem" of choosing which one to go after.

So... sometimes, like it or not... its just bad timing, I think. I wouldve liked to have had the chance to date those three girls at different times... just seems like it all happened at once. Stupid life.

At least that's my experience.