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damishabrown · Feb 22, 2012, 11:44 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months,he's 20 and I am 18; and we hadn't had an argument until 2 weeks ago. Being the honest person that I am I told him that a very close friend of mine disapproved of our relationship, he didn't take it very well he became really offended. The weekend had come and he was supposed to visit he never showed; I didn't receive a call or text message as to why he didn't come. I thought to myself he may still be angry I'll let him cool off for a day or two and then call and ask why he didn't show. Two days passed and I still hadn't heard from him so I decided to call I didn't get an answer then I decidedto text still no answer. I haven't heard from him and its hurting me that he hasn't called or responded to my text messages.But he's been talking to my friends about our relationship problems and has not yet contacted me. I think there's something deeper than my friend disapproving of our relationship.

If someone could help me out to why he's ignoring me and talking to my friends instead of me I would greatly appreciate it.

indya · Feb 22, 2012, 10:26 PM

Guys can shut down for days sometimes weeks together if they are hurt. Put yourself in his shoes and see how'd you feel if a close friend of his didn't approve of the relationship. If he's talking to your friends about the problems in your relationship, I'd take that as a positive sign(assuming that he's talking to find a fix for the problems.).

Yes, there can be a deeper resentment or hurt which was trigger off by your friend's disapproval.

Keep trying to contact him, talk to him, he'll respond to you once he's burned out his anger. When you do talk to him make sure you don't be too accusing or confront him, it might shut him down again.

Cat1864 · Feb 22, 2012, 11:30 PM

I would stop trying to contact him for a week or two. He knows where you are and how to call you when he is ready to communicate. After that time, I would send one message letting him know that I considered our relationship over and I was moving on with my life.

It is not a good sign that he is talking to everyone but you. It is also not a good sign that couldn't at least let you know he needed time to think. It shows that he doesn't respect your relationship enough to communicate with you.

I think you are correct about deeper issues, but until he is will to communicate with you then there isn't anything you can do to try to work them out.

Why does your friend not approve of him? Is his current behavior helping to explain your friend's misgivings?

Think very carefully about the past five months and make certain you haven't missed any warning signs. Is this the first time he has become 'offended' at something?

Don't sit around waiting for him to contact you. Live your life and try not to worry about him.

Lavender45 · Mar 1, 2012, 11:08 PM

You said it yourself girl "I think theres something deeper" that's bugging him. I bet once you stop trying to contact him- he'll contact you. Then talk to him about what's really bugging him and make sure he knows that he should feel comfortable to come to you with anything, relationships are personal- why tell all your friends and leave you out of it? LAME!