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Gurshalyulo · Aug 2, 2009, 09:59 PM

I've been talking to this girl for a while. Couple weeks. I've seen her probably six or seven times, a couple times at her work, we saw a movie, had lunch and she came over and watched a movie at my house. If we go out on a dinner date. Is it reasonable to ask for a relationship? Or is it too soon?

DrJ · Aug 2, 2009, 10:05 PM

It's never TOO soon... especially in this case. Six or seven dates sounds like she is still interested and apparently likes you. Why wait any longer?

shyfoxie · Aug 2, 2009, 10:16 PM

She does sound like she is interested if she perceived it as at least kind-of dating. It's possible she sees you as a friend, but only one way to find out for sure.

DrJ · Aug 2, 2009, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by shyfoxie

She does sound like she is interested if she perceived it as at least kind-of dating. It's possible she sees you as a friend, but only one way to find out for sure.

Good point.

Other than just spending time with you and possibly just "hanging out" with you, does it seem she is interested in more?

s_cianci · Aug 3, 2009, 07:23 AM

I think it's too soon. Don't try to do too much too fast or you'll creep her out. Just let things take their natural course. You'll know when it's time to take things to the next level. Actually, she'll probably let you know when she's ready.

jjwoodhull · Aug 3, 2009, 07:33 AM

I find that you usually don't have to have the conversation - it just comes naturally. You start talking more and seeing each other more until it develops into a relationship. Sometimes saying "ok - from here on we are in a relationship" puts too much pressure on the situation.

It definitely sounds like she likes you. Just keep doing what you're doing.

I wish · Aug 3, 2009, 07:35 AM

If you're too scared to tell her how you feel and ask her to be your girlfriend, then maybe it's time to push the enveloppe. Try being a bit more flirty to see if she responds well.

Though I agree with the go with the flow approach and the let things happen naturally approach, I think that sometimes we need to give a little nudge to show that other person that we're not just looking for a regular friendship.

DrJ · Aug 3, 2009, 09:45 AM

Yeah, I have to agree with I wish. I think it is important to make your intentions known... not in a creepy way and not even in a direct way, but simply taking a girl out to movies, lunch, etc. may not be enough.

Without making her aware of WHY you are spending time with her and taking her out, you are running the risk of becoming her "friend". Which, may not be a bad thing and sure, there IS that 1 in a 1,000,000 chance that she may just realize that YOU are the one... but it's not likely.

After 6 or 7 dates, it should be pretty well understood what direction the relationship is heading.

Has there been any physical contact? Kissing? Maybe just a good night kiss? A long embrace? A quick hug? Hand holding? Maybe even just an awkward moment when saying good night that usually goes something like:

"I wanna kiss you but I'm not sure if I should"

"I want you to kiss me, too, what are you waiting for?"

"Don't just stand here looking stupid... do something"

"I'm hesitating before I go insiiiide... nows your chance"

"Oh no.. now too much time has passed.. this is embarassing"

"Hurry up and kiss me already"

"Forget it.. just give her a quick hug and get outta here"

"Oh good, here he comes.. wait wheres he going.. what? a hug? ahhh.. well, maybe next time"

Gurshalyulo · Aug 3, 2009, 04:23 PM

2 goodnight kisses. Its definitely known that we probably both want a relationship, but I still feel I need to let her know, but still let the deciding of when it should be a relationship to her control.

DrJ · Aug 3, 2009, 06:24 PM

Gurshalyulo, if you both want a relationship then what are you waiting for?