Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #1

    Sep 10, 2019, 05:58 AM
    What is your thoughts if you saw this posted on Facebook?
    Yesterday afternoon I had a missed call from my fwb. He called me but I was working.I returned the call through Facebook and he didn't answer. Later on in the day I am at my second job. It was close to 9 pm.I was on Facebook on the regular home page and I saw him come up. He posted this. Facts, fellas if her conversations is getting shorter with you it's because they are getting longer with someone else. It could be God or Bob. I don't know and it was an emoji of hands up saying I don't know.

    Ok so who is Bob? Bob is my other male friend but I haven't seen him in a while.He doesn't know him but I always communicate with him on messenger.I have no clue if it's a connection or what. My co workers ask do he know Bob I said no.

    Serious thoughts please that could help.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,277, Reputation: 5644
    Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 10, 2019, 06:13 AM
    My thought is that he just chose the name “Bob” randomly. I don’t think you should read so much into this.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 10, 2019, 06:15 AM
    Just like you come here with questions, seems he also goes online with questions...about YOU. I have expressed many times the need for communications and end speculations and assumptions you both seem to have. You share bodies, but your minds are on different planets.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Sep 10, 2019, 06:25 AM
    Actually I am reading into this because he mention the name of the person that I have also dealt with. I use Bob for the story but that's not the real name. It wasn't no coincidence. He called me from Facebook hours before that. He even said the conversations are shorter or something like if a female not talking to him due to another guy. So why shouldn't I when he mention another male friend of mine name.

    what do you mean by that? Don't you find it odd that he said the other guy's name like if that person is taking up the conversation. Previous person said random it's not random. I use Bob for my question for example but that wasn't the name. Even my co workers said that. I didn't get your response in total though.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 10, 2019, 06:59 AM
    Honeybun you really don't know what this fellow knows or what he feels but make a lot of assumptions and speculations on what he does. Whether it's concern or just curiosity, matters little to the OBVIOUS lack of honest communications on both your parts. He does exactly the same thing you are doing, expressing your concerns and curiosities to others and not with each other.

    A terrible mistake for any couple. You can get OPINIONS and not facts that way. Doubly bad for anyone that familiar with each other for so long. I don't know, maybe the drama is what keeps the fires going with your bodies. Or maybe you both prefer the drama to avoid the fights that come with honest communications, or the hard work that comes with making a relationship work in a healthy way for all involved.

    Just speculating. I hope it helps give you thought.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Sep 10, 2019, 07:05 AM
    It is speculation but I know that the name he mentioned cannot be.
    What you mean I don't know what he knows? Yes maybe this is all fun to me. What else would I have to talk about though. It keeps me going. Just still curious where got that name from? sorry keep asking but just saying period.

    thank you
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    Sep 10, 2019, 09:35 AM
    Why don't you ask him what he meant. Nobody here knows. It could be a random name. I think you are wanting someone to say he is jealous and maybe he does care for you. We can't say that because we don't know. Only he knows. Ask him! You might also try telling him how you feel.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Sep 10, 2019, 09:58 AM
    Um I am hoping nothing we already know it is because of me. Reasons giving he already tried calling me through Facebook messenger #2 It wasn't a random name It is the name of another person that I have dated #3 I was just with him last week and possibility he have went through my phone.It's no question the post was because of my other male friend. So you replying the way you did don't change that at all. It wasn't random he mentioned my other male friend name on purpose around the same time calling me on Facebook. Don't try to change what you think I was trying to get someone to say. If you look at previous reply I didn't use the correct name for reasons and it wasn't a common name.

    thank you very much
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #9

    Sep 10, 2019, 10:17 AM
    So what do you think this is all about?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #10

    Sep 10, 2019, 10:23 AM
    Not sure but from what my cousin and co workers said. They're thinking he is mad. I was with him last week. I had to run in one of the fast foods to use the bathroom. They are thinking he went through my phone. I am hoping that is not the case.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #11

    Sep 10, 2019, 07:07 PM
    And so what if he did go through your phone, what do you think it means? You need to ask him, not other people.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,277, Reputation: 5644
    Expert
     
    #12

    Sep 10, 2019, 09:18 PM
    What if he did go through your phone. You are fwb,you aren’t exclusive. You would have to ask him what he meant by his post. All we can do is speculate and that can turn out badly if we are wrong.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #13

    Sep 11, 2019, 05:55 AM
    Well obviously he got the name from my phone and it was the friend of mine he was referring to. The guy himself even said that. What do you mean we are fwb like that excuses him for going through my phone.Married people don't even do that.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #14

    Sep 11, 2019, 06:51 AM
    You are fwb. Maybe that includes he has freedom with anything with you. If you don't say anything you are excusing that behavior. Ask him if he went through your phone and if he did, not to so it again. This is not complicated
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #15

    Sep 11, 2019, 07:08 AM
    This is true although we all know that is what he did , I don't want to just come out and say I know you went through my phone. He is going to say how I know. I don't even want to acknowledge that post on Facebook.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #16

    Sep 11, 2019, 08:26 AM
    In 18 years is this the only conflict or huge disagreement you have had? If not how did you handle the conflict? You have said you have been off and on in all those years, so just would like to know why, or what made you drift apart? What got you back together?

    Just because you're on again now, maybe it's coming up AGAIN for you to be off AGAIN...for a while certainly longer than a few weeks. I think maybe after all this time one or both of you is taking the other for granted, not unusual in relationships that the partners are not the priority, but an option because of other things in a busy life.

    Hard to keep benefits going when maybe the friendship part gets a bit stressful, or strained, and it's never really addressed properly or resolved. Even JUST friends have to put all the cards on the table and clear the air to get beyond resentments, mistrust, or suspicions, or just angry bad feelings toward each other.

    Things become rather unhealthy for both if they don't.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
    Full Member
     
    #17

    Sep 11, 2019, 08:32 AM
    I did mention this before I think anyway. We lived in the same apt complex. We were dealing with each other than back in 2001.. He moved in 2005 so that was the reason why we were off. Since that time period I met someone 2006 who I married in 2009 then divorced in 2011. I reconnected back with this guy in 2012. I found him on Facebook and learned he didn't live in the area no more but just right over the bridge.
    That's when we hung out and he did the candles and all that we went out to eat with his nephew and son. But since then we go back and forth. Trust part I never went through his phone or anything and I spent plenty of nights at his house.
    I think I am in love with him and someone else too . That's another story.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #18

    Sep 11, 2019, 09:32 AM
    So he was correct in thinking there is someone else even if he had to snoop to corfirm it. No matter how you cut it, this is as toxic as it gets.
    Vacuum7's Avatar
    Vacuum7 Posts: 45, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #19

    Sep 11, 2019, 06:15 PM
    He is picking the information out of you.....its what the old people used to do in the South when they didn't know the whole story but they set about getting the information out of the ones they knew KNEW the right story.....they would bait you with pieces of false information and you would correct them with the true information....before long, they would put all the pieces together and they HAD THE STORY!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,785, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #20

    Sep 11, 2019, 06:19 PM
    You are in love with him and think you love someone else? You have way too much drama going on. Instead of trying to figure his feelings out, you need to deal with your own. This is total disfunction.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

My niece posted on Facebook that I am a golddigging greedy [ 8 Answers ]

My mother-in-law died 21 years ago and now my niece is posting on Facebook that I am a golddigging greedy . She has stated that I have hoarded all her Grandmother's belongs, which my husband (who is the oldest child) and myself are greedy. She even stated that I sold her Grandmother's ring what can...

I deleted my ex girlfriend from Facebook, but now having second thoughts [ 1 Answers ]

Hi, my girlfriend of two and a half years dumped me a month and a half ago. We still talked here and there for a while. I recently took her to one of her favourite performers(Snoop Dogg), and we had a great time. We even had sex after. I just had my birthday and she wished me a happy birthday, I...

Facebook is postponing its IPO - any thoughts as to why? [ 1 Answers ]

I recently read that Facebook is pushing out the IPO date to next year. While I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons they might push it out, I'm curious to know what people believe to be the primary reason. Is it the lack of interest in their stock? Is it possibly that they can reach a higher...


View more questions Search