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    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 28, 2019, 06:10 AM
    What should a female think if she received this meme in a text msg?
    So many good woman have dealt with the wrong man and so many good men have dealt with the wrong woman that the time you 2 meet you're both afraid of each of other.

    The meme was a photo of a man and a woman just laying next to each other


    This was sent to a woman from her lover.
    Specter1's Avatar
    Specter1 Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Aug 28, 2019, 07:39 AM
    Same guy? I am starting to see why he is confusing.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 28, 2019, 07:48 AM
    why can't I just ask a question without anyone relating just don't answer then
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #4

    Aug 28, 2019, 07:52 AM
    Let me ask you if you fit him into your busy schedule? Have you ever discussed dating exclusively? What stops you both from having that conversation, or why has it NOT been discussed? Could you both be afraid of the challenge such a change would bring? I cannot imagine not having this conversation with a lover of 18 years! You are afraid of rejection, and what is he afraid of? Maybe the same thing, especially if you have been the stand offish one. Is that possible?

    You must be patient with us Honeybun, we are strangers without many details or contexts and history for reliable consideration.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 28, 2019, 08:58 AM
    ok I am patient lol... yes we live like hour away from each plus I work full and part and he is busy in school as well. retired military. we both are grandparents.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,786, Reputation: 2604
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    #6

    Aug 28, 2019, 09:04 AM
    Since you both are grandparents I would say you both are as little old to be playing games with each other. Ask him what it means, or are you afraid of what he might say.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 28, 2019, 10:19 AM
    very much afraid. we are young grandparents we are almost 50 though.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #8

    Aug 28, 2019, 10:41 AM
    Do you both live apart from kids and grandkids or live alone?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 28, 2019, 12:08 PM
    We have grown children and mine don't live with me but he lives with his daughter and his grand . My grown kids live with me but not the one with the child
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,786, Reputation: 2604
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    #10

    Aug 28, 2019, 03:12 PM
    You are both old enough to know what you're doing. You said you are afraid of rejection. I think you are afraid to know where you stand with him. Deep down you already know, you just don't want to accept it.
    I thought you two were much younger. Continue being fwb or talk to him about where you stand. How long are you willing to be apart of this?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 28, 2019, 09:15 PM
    I can't really go on no more like this..my stomach burns.yrs i already know he doesn't want relationship.he just want to be only one I screw
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #12

    Aug 29, 2019, 05:42 AM
    The good news is you can make the changes you want for your own happiness anytime you want, with or without him. I think your only dealing with him because you are safe and comfortable, at least you were for a while, and neither of you had to take a risk with rocking the boat of your own lives. I think you are right though, he doesn't want you dealing with other men, because that would shake up his world and bust his own ego comfort zone. Your FWB IS a relationship, whether you think so or not, and subject to the tough times like any other, just without the official title. FWB is a title though, so it's up to you to decide what YOU want and work toward it. That happens to anyone in any kind of relationship, and you must decide if it works for you the way it is, and can you have more.

    LOL, it's been off and on all these years, and I suspect that pattern will continue unless you do the work of having more. With or without him. What do you want and will you find the courage of taking a risk to have it?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Aug 29, 2019, 05:56 AM
    Yes but what should I do I am scared to ask him. See no one really answered my question that's why I ask certain question they all relate to same story. He sent that meme to me. Was there a reason that's why I ask. I don't even know what to say or how to throw hints. He is only 45 mins away not that big of a deal because he goes to dr where I work in same town. You're right even though I know we're not a couple but he had me shave his back we have our own meeting spot. I shaved his back like if he was my man or something.He got me coffee in morning on my way to work.He wanted me to leave my car with my daughter so he could take me that way I didn't have to leave so quick or leave and come back taking away time .

    I will admit he is a game player. But do game player have no feelings after knowing me all this time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #14

    Aug 29, 2019, 01:40 PM
    Actually you are the only one who can come close to understanding the ways of this stranger, but you seem to be scared to ask what you want to know and get clarity for what you don't understand from him. Looks like you start by overcoming your own fear, or at least where it comes from.

    So why are you afraid to ask him your questions? Articulate please. Of course he has feelings, what they are exactly, and why he plays his game the way he does is what you want to find out about, right? How can any stranger know what an unknow person is thinking? We can only speculate and guess.

    Personally I would love to hear what he says about this.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,786, Reputation: 2604
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    #15

    Aug 29, 2019, 06:01 PM
    As long as you go along with all of this and never say any he thinks it's ok the way things are. He has no reason to be any different with you. You owe it to both of you to say what and ask what is on you mind. A closed mouth does not get fed.
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Aug 29, 2019, 09:13 PM
    Ok no one explained the meme
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #17

    Aug 30, 2019, 04:59 AM
    So many good woman have dealt with the wrong man and so many good men have dealt with the wrong woman that the time you 2 meet you're both afraid of each of other.

    The meme was a photo of a man and a woman just laying next to each other
    You're both to afraid to take a chance and build a life together, or express your true feelings and commit to each other. You admit you fear rejection, and don't know his feelings so is he saying he may have the same fears as you?

    That's why asking HIM was the suggestion, as neither of you can read the others minds. Another thing that occurs to me is at your ages, maybe you both are going through that midlife crisis thing. A shot in the dark. Scared to leave your lives you have built apart, for one together, while understandable but not talking it out is a darn shame.

    Even if you tried it together there is no guarantee that it works forever, and the failures of the past has you afraid of the future , or maybe the scary part is losing that FWB you have enjoyed for decades. Neither of you probably acknowledges you are boyfriend and girlfriends, just lovers. Like I said before, safe, comfortable, and reliable.

    You asked about love before, and correct me if I'm wrong you THINK you love him, but aren't sure. So let me ask you is it love when you stay so busy you don't have time to see someone you think you love? Or be too afraid to find out?
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Aug 30, 2019, 05:51 AM
    wow now you did answer my question and maybe you are right. I think it's because I am afraid. I would take time of my business if I knew it would go somewhere. I didn't know when he sent me that it was in a text message was it just to be sending it to me to read or was there a reason. I guess we have a lot going on because I have a grown kid living with me so i won't bring no one home unless I know its the sure thing. The same as him he lived on his own and moved in with his daughter and grand child to help them out because his daughter kicked out her boyfriend.

    That's why us meeting sometimes is hectic and he is like an hour away.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,106, Reputation: 10852
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    #19

    Aug 30, 2019, 06:09 AM
    Long distance relationships suck. So do jobs and family obligations. many obstacles and no communications. You're stuck. All you can do is have honest communications...TEXTING sucks too!
    honeybun35's Avatar
    honeybun35 Posts: 202, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Aug 30, 2019, 06:12 AM
    yea but it's not that far though my daughter lives the same distance i atleast say 40 mins I have co workers that travel that distant infact some from area where he lives.
    He do come this way often it's not that far but its not like he's right next door.Long distance is someone having relationship with someone like couple to few hours away but hour people travel hour for work. I wouldn't consider that a long distance relationship

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