Ok... so this might be kind of long but here goes: so I dated this guy for like seven months, we were really close attached at the hip; you know how the story goes, well he broke up with me for a few reasons which from what I've been told was more to push me away than anything, well, we didn't stick to the no contact thing, I mean kind of hard when small town, even smaller high school, go to the same church, a lot of the same friends, and same hangout spots... but we had our "fun" we messed around and its been here recently too... but he told me he's trying to get with this girl and he won't tell me who... but... tonight we were all hanging out at the pool hall, I was upset about some stuff, and I was stay pretty close to one of my best friends who is of course a guy hugging him and he was kind of holding me and stuff... later on him and my ex went into the back and were talking when I went to give him a hug later on that night he (the guy friend) made a comment about how I was going to get him into trouble or something to that effect and I asked why and he said matt (that would be the ex) I asked him why and he said just would and I prodded at him a bit and he said that me hugging him was upseting matt... I don't know why...

My ex has been known for doing this kind of stuff, like when I was dating this one guy, he did everything he could to get me to break up with him... and I did, it wasn't really because of my ex... it was more because what he was saying was true... beside the point because he didn't know the guy so he didn't know what he was talking about it was my brother who told me all the stuff about him... me and my ex screwed around we were talking about getting back together 'if' I broke up with the guy... was already planning on breaking up with him I just wasn't going to do it in a text and my ex knew this... but after I broke up with him he started pretty much ignoring me... not completely just kind of I don't know... not as sweet to me as he had been

I mean my ex is ALWAYS giving me hugs and stuff and he's generally sweet to me... and he gave me one of his fav. t-shirts... I only meant to borrow it for one night, but he told me to keep it... like he did with a couple of his shirts when we were dating... im just confused as to why he's doing it... he won't even talk to me about the things that have happened between us since we broke up... he sticks to the easy stuff... he worries about me... I mean he's the one that pulls me down on his lap when something's wrong and won't let me up until I tell him...
I guess I'm just confuesed I don't know what it means, I've wondered if he's just playing with me... but he knows good and well how much of a mistake that is... I mean I don't know... I just need some advice... as to what he's up to and how to handle it...

Guys what do you think? And girls have you ever had a guy do this to you? If so why was he doing it and how did you handle it?

Buy him a jacket. Ha ha, just joking, I am sorry I couldn't resist.

You're going to HAVE to learn to dismiss his actions/words every time you experience them. They don't mean anything you need to worry about.

Since you were once together, your habit is to pay attention to him and you have got to break that habit. Period.

Him paying attention to YOU is a habit, too. You can't help what energies/comments he aims at you, he's going to do whatever he wants. If you pay any attention to it at all, stress is all you get as a result.

Only you can stop it.

If you want to be huggies with someone else and that person is a mutual friend with your ex, you'll have to help the new guy get over your ex's opinions, too. Your ex has no right to make you or ANYONE you choose to date next feel uncomfortable about it. But he WILL try. He will even try to claim "it's wrong" to some of them, but it's not.

You have to give him permission to impose his opinions on your life in any way. Don't do it. Don't get mad, don't get inquisitive, don't try to fend him off... JUST DON'T CARE. Practice being unaffected by him in any way at all.