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    215burbs's Avatar
    215burbs Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 7, 2011, 12:39 PM
    Weird breakup that I've made worse... any advice
    So my girl and I were in a really positive relationship for 8 months. Sadly she had a family member die unexpectedly. Literally something with her changed right after that as she got really depressed and "lost". She broke up with me saying she needed to figure her life out and take care of her and her family. Since we were doing a long distance thing, I was not able to physically be there to help. We have been in contact almost everyday for four months but I really messed up one night recently when drinking and said some hurtful comments toward her. I of course apologized but it seems like we keep drifting apart (and this really hurt the situation). It seems like we still have feelings for each other, I'm just not handling it well at all. Any advice would help...
    HurtScorpio's Avatar
    HurtScorpio Posts: 92, Reputation: 23
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    #2

    Jul 12, 2011, 06:51 PM
    Losing a family member, especially if the person was very close to them has a significant impact on someone. If you truly love her please make every effort to apologize for the nasty remarks you made and for what reason did you make them. I realize you were drunk but this girl needs you more than ever right now and she needs your support and love. If she receives nastiness, she will distance herself. No doubt she may be lost for awhile. My brother made a serious suicide attempt to where he almost died and I am still not at ease, If you are not able to provide support to her, that is the entire reason she is going to herfamily as they recognize what she needs and how she feels. Maybe you need to find out more about the grieving process over the internet as it is a process and this will take time and she will not just bounce back to herself as quick as you may like. If you love her, be there and if you are unable, then don't hurt her more.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jul 12, 2011, 06:55 PM

    Various people deal with loss differently. She was going though a hard time, and to be honest you were not there locally for her, which is hard on a relationship.

    Next do you know how many relationships end with the words
    ** and I was just drinking***

    There is no way to take words back, and we have to deal with what result they bring

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