Hi. I'm a 29 year old female in a relationship with an amazing man (33 yrs old). We've been together for two years. The first few months of our relationship were good--no jealousy. Well, there was, but I was able to control it. However, it's gotten worse. I started seeing a therapist, and I got a little better with controlling it; however, we would go through cycles. I'd be good and then bad, but really bad! I get jealous of little things like girls on TV, on the street, in bars, etc. I'm able to tell myself, "He'll forget about her in 2 minutes--once we're or she is gone, the commercial ends, the movie ends... In other words, they're just objects to him, nothing else. I'm the real deal. This way of thinking upsets him because he swears that since the moment he fell in love with me, no other woman does it for him anymore. He claims to not find them attractive at all. I find this very hard to believe, and my gut tells me he's lying, but that really pisses him off. So now I'm at the point of leaving him because I can't take this insecurity anymore! However, it'll break his heart; he's madly in love with me. But I just feel like there are other girls out there better suited for him. He doesn't think so, but I do, and that's what makes me insecure and jealous. Should I leave him? I know I'll be throwing away happiness, my love, and the most perfect mate I've ever had, but I can't go on like this anymore. I'm fine when I'm single! Again, should I leave him? I've tried to separate before, but he wouldn't have it.

You are going to have this issue whether you leave him or stay. If you intend on being in any relationship,it will be there again. I know because I have the same issue and have been seeing a therapist for years and if you get a good therapist it does get better. Realize this is your insecurity and he is telling you he wants to be with you so LISTEN. YOU are the one comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone thinner, prettier, more successful so realize this and learn to accept that everyone has flaws. I have learned to look at women on TV and say they are attractive which I could never do before. You need to acknowledge that you will look at other guys at times just to look at the fact that they are attractive as will he because humans eyes are drawn toward shiny objects, pretty things, but when you come home to each other and treat each other well, there is no reason not to believe this guy loves you. I would not leave a good man when the issue is yours to fix. Go to therapy to figure out why you are this ay, figure out how to stop, how to gain self esteem. Your man will be shocked if you came home with an air of confidence as a plain looking girl with a smile on her face with her head up is often prettier that a "pretty girl" with her head to the ground seemingly with lack of self esteem in shambles. Give yourself credit. HE CHOSE YOU!! HE LOVES YOU! Work on your thoughts and stay with this guy -he loves you.

Thanks for taking time to respond, hurt scorpio! My therapist connects this to anxiety and suggests I should get on pills! I really don't to do that, and I won't. The only reason I want to leave him is because I see how miserable he looks when I put him through it; I feel like I'll be doing him a favor. I know he chose me, and he is the type to leave someone if he doesn't want to be with her. Christ, he was dating a very sweet girl who was in a wheelchair, but he didn't love her, so he broke it off with her. I think a lot of people will feel sorry for a person in that situation and stay with him/her because of that. So I take comfort in knowing that about him. But I honestly don't know how to become this confident woman. Yeah, I write my good qualitites down and what not, but there are moments that I get so infuriated that I forget everything! And, I fly off the handle. Again, thanks for your response. By the way, I don't know if I have it in me to end it. Although I think he can do better than me, I'm too selfish to let him go. I love him too much.