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ILUVHIM08151988 · Jul 10, 2007, 08:23 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 2years well a year and 7months the first six months of our relationship he cheated on me 7 times I found out about the 7th girl from my bayfriends uncle and then my boyfriend came clean obout the other six we broke up for 2weeks after that. Then he started getting REALLY possive and jelouse so if I wanted to go out with my girl friends for a few hours I had to lie to him or else he waould flip he would say " why do you need to hang out with people you are with me you shouldnt want to hang out with other people" so I put up with that for about a year then I broke up with him and we were broken up for 5months and he kept calling me and telling me he loved me and . So I was working one night and 4girls were over at his house and they called me 25times talking and making me misseriable. I was going out every night and having fun I tried dating other guys but I just couldn't do it the only person I thought about was my ex(at the time) abd after about being apart for 4 months it got so much harder for me with out him in my life now we have been back together for a month and he has changed in a lot of ways BIG time but I still see the jelousy in him and he says he can't trust me cause I lied to him. What can I do to make sure this relationship works?? I really love this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him help me please??

huno · Jul 10, 2007, 08:32 AM

So, this guy was angry because you went out with your female friends and dated other guys, yet he cheated on you... how many times? And he had all these girls at his house?

And you want to be with this guy? For the rest of your life? Why? Is he that good-looking? Does he have a nice car? How big is he? Are there no other guys where you live?

Judging by your username, my guess is you're less than 20 years old... am I right?

ILUVHIM08151988 · Jul 10, 2007, 08:47 AM

Yeah I am 19 and when I first met him I was dating his friend and when me and my boyfriend first laied eyes on each other we had the biggest smile on our face it was love at first sight we staired into eachothers eyes for like 2min straight while me ey my boyfriend at the time was trying to get my attention and I didn't even hear him. I fell in love with a GREAT man and I know who he really is he has the biggest heart on this earth but when it comes to dating he isn't good at it he thinks he is always going to get hurt and everything I am the only person in his life that has not gave up hope for him and I don't want to he would do anything for anybody in need. Like I said I am the only person in the world who knows who he really is and I love that guy so much but I don't love the guy that he shows everybody he is and just let me say he has not cheated on me since he came clean to me..

Skrypt · Jul 10, 2007, 09:15 AM

Hes possessive and didn't want you to hang out with your own friends, he cheats big time, you cheat, you claim you fell in love with him when you already had a boyfriend. That sounds like lust... hmm.

If he loved you he wouldn't have dated 7 other girls LET ALONE 1. Hes bad at dating you, but you claim he acts differently around other people as well. So when exactly is he the guy you love?

You both sound like you're not mature for a relationship let alone love. I'm appalled you put up with this. In my opinion I really think there is no point in this relationship. Move on find someone new who will truly love you and hopefully you love him back. I know this may sound harsh and you may not like it, but what would I really know I'm only 15. Just what I think only.

Skrypt · Jul 10, 2007, 09:19 AM

Also you had to lie to him to be happy with your own friends, and he's jealous because you hang out with your friends? HE also doesn't trust you because you lied to him yet he cheats on you 7 times

ILUVHIM08151988 · Jul 10, 2007, 09:20 AM

Ummmm... NO I NEVER CHEATED ON HIM let me make that clear right away and like I said if you read it... he's has changed in a lot of ways... I AM GLAD You are 15 BUT MAKE SURE YOU READ EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU ANSWER PLEASE... AND I AM MATURE A LITTLE Too much AND YOU WILL FIND OUT WHEN YOU FINISH GROWING UP.

Skrypt · Jul 10, 2007, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by ILUVHIM08151988

So i was workin one night and 4girls were over at his house and they called me 25times talkin and makeing me misseriable. I was going out everynight and haveing fun i tried dating other guys but i just couldnt do it the only person i

Sorry just saw what was typed. My bad understanding I guess.

ILUVHIM08151988 · Jul 10, 2007, 09:29 AM

All right Just Want To Make That Clear I Could Never Even Think About Cheating On Him And Yes I Did Fall In Love With Him When We First Met So That Same Night I Broke Up With My Boyfriend At The Time And Yeah... And My Boyfriend Has A Son I Have Been In Is Sons Life For 2 Years And I Love His Son Like My Own And That Makes Things Harder

huno · Jul 10, 2007, 09:41 AM

Well your original post doesn't mention that you cheated on him. And I think you were right to see other guys when your relationship was on thin ice.

But Skrypt does have a point that it's just not right that you should put up with his idiosyncrasies just because he has brief moments of normalcy.

I wonder about your previous BF, the one you broke up with to be with this current guy: did you really like him? That's awfully fast work to fall in love and dump him all in one shot. What exactly did you like about your current guy that made you do all that?

ILUVHIM08151988 · Jul 10, 2007, 10:43 AM

Yes I liked the guy I was with but he was always at the club and going to parties That's no me... And the guy I am dating now FIRST OF ALL I Didn't CHEAT ON HIM EVER! I wouldn't be able to do that and the guy Im with now has a job pays his bills takes care of his son and is a great guy I just don't know why he can't be good at relatonships and he hasent cheated on me for well over a year now after he came clean he stopped..

huno · Jul 10, 2007, 12:26 PM

Oh, I know you didn't cheat on your BF, I was just pointing out that you had never said that in the first place. :)

Well, it still seems to me that, even though he can take care of the business side of life, he's awfully bad at the emotional side. I can't imagine him being a great husband (if that's where you're headed). You don't really know he hasn't cheated on you; if he's cheated on you that many times (7), he might be the type to continue.

But even if he hasn't, his possessiveness and his jealousy are real issues. Do you really want to put up with that for the rest of your life?

dolly08 · Jul 10, 2007, 01:33 PM

GIRL HE ONLY TRYIN TO SAY DAT YOU CHEATED ON HIM CAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT IN DA ACT GIRL PUT IT LIKE THIS ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER I WANT YOU TO BIGGER YOURSELF LEAVE HIM CAUSE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS TRUST ISSUES IS NOT GONNA WORK YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY CAUSE HE IS GONNA START THINKIN THAT HE RUNS YOU BUT JUST BECAUSE HE CAME CLEAN THOSE 7X'S THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT DOESNT MEAN THAT HE IS ALWAYS GONNA DO IT AND YOU TWO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER......UMMM.....HE CAN STILL TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILD AND NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU GIRL I LEARNED WITH MY BUSTED @SS SCRUB DAT I HAD GIRL YO BEST BET IS TO CUT DAT LOOSE

huno · Jul 10, 2007, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by dolly08

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER I WANT YOU TO BIGGER YOURSELF LEAVE HIM CAUSE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS TRUST ISSUES IS NOT GONNA WORK YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE HAPPY CAUSE HE IS GONNA START THINKIN THAT HE RUNS YOU BUT JUST BECAUSE HE CAME CLEAN THOSE 7X'S THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT DOESNT MEAN THAT HE IS ALWAYS GONNA DO IT

That is so what I would have said if I were cool. :cool: :D

self_lnflicted_hell · Jul 11, 2007, 05:50 AM

Wait a minute... He can't trust you because you lied to him?? Ummmm, how many times did he cheat on you again? Who can't trust who? I'd rethink the situation honey and think long and hard about whether you really need this man in your life. I know it's hard to let go and that (almost) 2 years is a long time with someone to throw away but he broke your trust, disrespected you, gave himself to someone else (7 times!) when you were the only one that should have had his attention. You don't want to live like this, do you? You cando better. So many women put up with so much crap because they have it drilled into their heads that they can't get anyone else or that no one else would want them. That is SO untrue. Do yourself a HUGE favor and move on. Give yourself some alone time and then find someone who will love, respect and protect you like you should be. And don't put up with no mans crap! :)