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Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 07:13 AM

The quicker you can move on the better. Never ever get fixated on just one female, date many and have fun, so you don't fall in so fast you can't get out. You can always adjust as situations change, and they will.

But ahh! You know... Multiple datings can be a problem because you're not honest...
:D
THanks for your advices so far!

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Lao Tzi

But ahh! You know... Multiple datings can be a problem because you're not honest...
:D
THanks for your advices so far!

So you be honest with whomever you date. There is a difference between dating and being exclusive to one person. Once you get to that point I believe it becomes more a relationship than pure dating. Dating is about finding someone you enjoy being around the most. Limiting your options can limit your happiness. Think of it as a buffet. We aren't talking about having sex or being romantic with several different women at once.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 07:19 AM

And choosing a good partner is a result of experience, and that experience comes from your attempt to widely open your options right?

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by Lao Tzi

And choosing a good partner is a result of experience, and that experience comes from your attempt to widely open your options right?

Yes and no. Don't think of it as choosing as that denotes some sort of planning on your part. Think of it as enjoying and the more enjoyment, the more natural the process will occur.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 07:22 AM

Yes and no. Don't think of it as choosing as that denotes some sort of planning on your part. Think of it as enjoying and the more enjoyment, the more natural the process will occur.

But if I am this kind of person, then what type of girls should I am looking for?

There is still a problem, like I'm Asian and she's Caucasian! Not that I'm racist, but do you think girls like Asian guys in general?

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 07:25 AM

Last time I checked we were in America. This is a melting pot of people. Girls like guys who are confident, well spoken, sure of themselves and that are ambitious. There are no set guidelines, that is what's fun about it. I have seen extremely beautiful girls date guys that I would consider less than attractive... it all depends on the girl and how you handle yourself. The more you analyze, the less chance you have. Don't over-think, just do and find out. ALL girls that I know of like gentlemen. If you can be a gentleman, you have a leg up on about 70% of the male population.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 07:30 AM

ALL girls that I know of like gentlemen. If you can be a gentleman, you have a leg up on about 70% of the male population.

May I ask a "gentleman" nowadays is a "French gallant" type?

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 07:32 AM

It is someone like you who listens, is polite and has good presence when talking to someone. You are taking yourself out of the race before it even begins because you are sitting here analyzing things that are meant to be natural. Dating is a game of chance.The more you do it the better and more confident you become. You cannot be afraid to make mistakes or get rejected, trust me, I have made plenty of mistakes and have been rejected multiple times. No worries on that end!

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 07:32 AM

The more you analyze, the less chance you have.

But,ahh, don't I have to look for my words? Think carefully you know?

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Lao Tzi

But,ahh, don't I have to look for my words? Think carefully you know?

NO! Quit being so philosophical about this. It isn't as deep as you are making it. Be natural and play to your strengths, as Tal said. 90% of conversation with women is listening and then going off what they say. It is like a root. At first a root goes straight down, but then it vines off into many directions depending upon where it gets the most water.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 08:15 AM

90% of conversation with women is listening and then going off what they say. It is like a root. At first a root goes straight down, but then it vines off into many directions depending upon where it gets the most water.

Ukay! Thank you!
So get them talk and ask smart questions based upon the information they provided you?
What's next then?

is polite and has good presence when talking to someone. You are taking yourself out of the race

Sorry, but I've been abused due to my skin, just an explanation :D

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 08:20 AM

And compliments! Many asks me to compliment them? But what type of compliments then? A lies or a truth? I rarely give anyone compliment unless I feel it astounding. Do I have to change too?

talaniman · Oct 22, 2009, 08:31 AM

Why should you change to impress some one? That's crazy, be yourself, and be natural. That's when most people are most comfortable, when they just do their thing. If you don't click, you don't click. It happens a lot. Move on.

As far as compliments go, don't say it unless you mean it, and don't lay it on to thick.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 08:52 AM

As far as compliments go, don't say it unless you mean it, and don't lay it on to thick.

Should I focus on her intelligence or her beauty. Beautiful ladies do not need another compliment on her beauty huh? It is pretty boring to repeat the same thing to them, right?

talaniman · Oct 22, 2009, 09:03 AM

Compliments come from the heart, so listen to her, and see what impresses you. Honestly, it's a turn off when they hear the same things all the time, so look for something unique, and different.

I wish · Oct 22, 2009, 09:07 AM

These things happen naturally. Forcing things will only work temparily. Things can't be temporary forever. Eventually, your true personalities will come out and things will bound to fail.

So if you can't be natural from the start, then find someone else.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 09:31 AM

I see!
It's hard now because your advices are to let it go, let it go, don't hold it tight, don't dip it deep, don't... do things I usually do.

Yup! Deep breathing, natural, don't be panic...

I am so young and your advices change my perspective a LOT.

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 09:33 AM

Don't psyche yourself out here. It isn't a big deal. Be calm and collected.

Lao Tzi · Oct 22, 2009, 09:44 AM

How's your feeling when you're being rejected, if you allows me to go that personal?

kctiger · Oct 22, 2009, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by Lao Tzi

how's your feeling when you're being rejected, if you allows me to go that personal?

I don't care. There are plenty of fish out there and I am good enough for just about all of them. Now I know I can't get all of them, but that is just my mentality. You let it slide right off your shoulder. It stings sometimes, especially when it is someone you have been wanting to talk to for awhile, but by sometimes I mean no more than five minutes.

You can't take rejection personally. Not everyone is compatible nor likes my personality, and that is fine.