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TurboNicole · Apr 12, 2008, 09:41 AM

Well I have no idea what to do about my ex. Me and him dated a couple months back and then became friends with benefits and are now just best friends. He broke up with me and said we just wouldn't work out and I kept pushing to get back together until I couldn't push anymore. He dated some girl after we broke up and as soon as she broke his heart he started being clingy with me which I didn't mind because I was still head over heels for him. He asked me to sleep over one night and I said yes. While I was sleeping I felt his hand on my back rubbing my back very gently, like he didn't want to wake me. Then I turned over and cuddled him. Later on that night he started tickling my arm gently and I went to cuddle him again but 15 minutes later he nudged me off. Now he's seeing some other girl and tells me stuff about her that he knows I don't want to hear cause it bugs me and I have told him this. He told me that they had sex and brought me to his house the day after they had sex and the place was a mess and he had plenty of time to clean it up. Its like he wanted me to see it. And now mind you I know that best friends tell each other stuff about who they are seeing and blah blah blah, but he doesn't want to hear about when I sleep with a guy or who I'm with and always makes nasty jokes about the guy who I'm seeing. Also yesterday we were play fighting and he pinned me down and got on top of me and started to bump into me if that makes sense. I really don't know what to think about it anymore because I know he would never cheat on his girlfriend unless he wanted to get back with me, but he hasn't told me he wanted us to get back together. Every time he makes me really mad and I tell him not to call me anymore he always calls me back after a day or so and tries to make it up to me every time. Okay so my question is, Why do you think he is doing the things he does? And is it reasonable for me to not want to hear about the girl he is seeing? Considering it wasn't a mutual break up and we have a lot of history?

Muchly appreciated,

Nicole

losingit77 · Apr 12, 2008, 09:45 AM

He's doing these things to you because you're allowing him to and he's getting away with it. He's using you for his own comfort (companionship, friendship, etc.) when just friendship doesn't sound like what you want. You cannot instantly go from gf/bf to just friend. Leave him alone for a while... a long while and don't allow him to use you however he pleases.

TurboNicole · Apr 12, 2008, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by losingit77

He's doing these things to you because you're allowing him to and he's getting away with it. He's using you for his own comfort (companionship, friendship, etc.) when just friendship doesn't sound like what you want. You cannot instantly go from gf/bf to just friend. Leave him alone for a while...a long while and don't allow him to use you however he pleases.

But why is he trying to make me jealous?

talaniman · Apr 12, 2008, 09:51 AM

He wants you for sex, without commitment, and his g/f too! Win/win for him. Get him out of your life, and get a healthy one, without him in it. You don't sound like friends to me.

TallBlondie · Apr 12, 2008, 09:52 AM

It sounds to me liket his guy doesn't want to be alone as is desperate to be in ANY relationship, it sounds like it has been very easy for him to turn you into his good-buddy-who-i-occasionally-sleep-with-when-i-can't-sleep-with-some-other-so-and-so. You need to cut this jerk loose and fast. You need to let him know right up front exactly what you expect out of this relationship. And you should tell him when you are seeing other people so that when he says he doesn't want you to or doesn't want to hear about it you can say "Why, you do it all the time!" Use it to open the door to a conversation about where this relationship is going. If it were me I would not be dating this guy at all, I would only have him around as a friend. Honestly it sounds like he is using you GIRL!!

talaniman · Apr 12, 2008, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by TurboNicole

But why is he trying to make me jealous?

To keep you around for future booty calls. If his current g/f dumps him he still has you.:eek:

TurboNicole · Apr 12, 2008, 09:53 AM

Yeah, except we haven't slept with each other since Jan. We slept NEXT to each other. But nothing happened. I totally agree with you though. I just wish he wouldn't call me everyday and give me mixed signs.

losingit77 · Apr 12, 2008, 09:58 AM

He's not giving you mixed signals. He's showing you exactly what he wants and you're confusing it and trying to translate it into what you want. He simply doesn't want the relationship with you that you want to him. Sorry, but we all have been there. Stop talking to him, don't accept his phone calls, and go out and get what you want with someone who deserves you.

TurboNicole · Apr 12, 2008, 10:00 AM

I have a boyfriend so I'm not worried about that. I guess I was trying to make things sound the way I wanted them to though. Sad how he has to ruin our friendship over such stupidity.

letmetellu · Apr 12, 2008, 10:18 AM

If a guy does not care for you very much but likes the sex he is getting from you he will do things like trying to make you jealous, or he will try to do things to hurt yourself confidence so that you get the idea that you had better try to keep him because you might not be able to get someone else. So as long as he is not interested in a relationship with you he is still going to keep you on a string so that he has one more opportunity for sex if he desires.