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thatsomeone · May 4, 2009, 04:00 AM

Me and my GF of 3 and half years are going through a bad patch (me 29 her 31). Well, to be precise, she wants some time. I was going through a really tough time, and was feeling so guilty about being really miserable all the time that at one point I told her if she didn't want to be around me I would understand.

But after a few months everything started to get better, but I think the damage was done. She tells me she doesn't want to be with me anymore, that the relationship isn't fun anymore and she doesn't know what to do with her life, she doesn't feel love for me anymore. She said she wanted some time to think, but that didn't happen because I had to call her to let her know a few things about my work (not to tell her I love her and all that) and we just carried on talking. I shouldve stopped talking after our conversation and allow her the break.

I love her with all my heart, she also has a little daughter of 3 1/2 years. She has known me since she was 2 months old and I love her to bits. She calls me baba (dad!). Although she isn't my own child but the connection and love between us has been so good that I really think of her as my own child.

I haven't talked to her for the past few days and thought may be the time away will help her understand. But I am getting worried now that she'll never come back and that its over. Its like I have lost my family. I just don't know what to do anymore. Should I call her and tell her what I think? Should I go over and see her and talk to her? Should I tell her how much I miss the little one?. please help...

** Should I give her a bit more time before I approach her or should I do it now.

** I WANT THE GIRLS TO ADVICE: How would you react in a situation like this? Would you reconsider if you were in the same situation and he came back to talk to you?

** Is it a good idea that I tell her how much I love the little one and how losing this relationship will mean I am losing two of my great love and not just one.

** Should I tell her about my plans for us?

Please help...

Mayank Verma · May 5, 2009, 12:16 PM

I also face such a situation in my life but not as exactly. I will suggested you to just say all without waiting show all the love you have for them. Bcoz if she loves you she always want you to come back for her and her daughter! Both loves you and need you more than you want them. So it may be the reason that she is hurted much bcoz she expected much from your side. And try not to hurts anyone who is really loves you! She must want you to back again but she will take a time to take any step! May be that why we say that this is a life.

Romefalls19 · May 5, 2009, 12:33 PM

Give her the space she needs to find herself, there isn't anything you can do to change her mind. It's sad but true. Read the stickies at the top of the forum and I am sorry for your loss.

ajGambino · May 5, 2009, 12:40 PM

When someone is giving you 'I don't want to be with you anymore' excuses, it's just that. They don't want to be with you anymore and keeping in contact with them only smothers. Leave her be (as hard as it may seem now) and if she wants to be together, she will come back. Keep NC to get a clear mindset for the both of you, it's for the best.

I wish · May 5, 2009, 01:10 PM

I'm sure that after 3 1/2 years, she knows how you feel about her. Now you just need to give her space to figure out how she feels about you.

The reason you need to give her space is so that she can sort out her feelings objectively. Just wait for her to find you. Be patient.

This no contact will also give you time to sort out your feelings for her. Maybe your feelings won't change for her during no contact, but at least you will be sure of how you feel.