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New Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:16 PM
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Had sex with a girl but don't want to date her
Went to a wedding the other night and this girl was all over me. After the wedding I took her back to her place and proceeded to spend the night. Just got out of a 7 year relationship and don't really want to see this new girl again but she is a friend of some of my friends and don't want to look like a complete douchebag. Anyone have any advice on how I should handle this situation? Thanks!
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Ultra Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:17 PM
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Did you and her exchange numbers?
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New Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:22 PM
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Originally Posted by spitvenom
Did you and her exchange numbers?
Yeah, can't use that excuse :(
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Ultra Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:26 PM
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Perhaps she won't want to see you again either?
Maybe she understands it was only a one night stand.
Tell her the truth if she asks,it takes two too tango,so she can't lay all the blame on your door,should there be blame.
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Uber Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:40 PM
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Herpes is forever...
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New Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by redhed35
perhaps she wont want to see you again either?
maybe she understands it was only a one night stand.
tell her the truth if she asks,it takes two too tango,so she can't lay all the blame on your door,should there be blame.
Well she has already asked on of my friends to talk to me so it sounds like she does want to see me again. I will have a hard time telling her that its not going to go anywhere, this is why I typically try to stay away from this kind of stuff.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 12:46 PM
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Well there goes that theory. Just be honest with her tell her you just got out of a 7 year relationship and you aren't ready to be in another relationship.
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Expert
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Mar 1, 2010, 01:18 PM
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How about being honest?
You actually blew it (and will have a harder time not looking like a douchebag because of it) when you weren't honest BEFORE you had sex with her.
Now your only choice is to be brutally honest with her.
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New Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 11:17 PM
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Yep, we sure would hate for YOU to look bad!! Let her be the one to save face at your expense. That's what a real man would do. A douchebag on the other hand...
P.S. Just stay away from my daughter. (Yes, the beautiful, green-eyed, blond with the southern drawl.)
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Full Member
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Mar 1, 2010, 11:26 PM
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Just be honest with her, but in a nice way. Tell her that you're sorry and you feel bad about it but you're not looking for a relationship because you just got out of a 7 year relationship, she should understand. After all if was only a one night stand so what can she really expect from you?
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Uber Member
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Mar 2, 2010, 06:15 AM
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Just something to keep in mind the next time you go after a booty call or hookup.
Check the stats on the percentage of people infected by Herpes... by HPV and AIDS in your agegroup... if that doesn't scare you consider the possibility you knock her up... yeah even if you use protection because it happens all too frequently.
Consider 18+ years of paying child support to a woman you met once... slept with once... and spend two decades paying for.
No I'm not a save it for marriage type... but I am a don't sleep with someone you won't consider marrying type.
Because like the bumper sticker says... "Sh*t happens".
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Emotional Health Expert
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Mar 2, 2010, 11:51 AM
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I doubt that she will care one way or the other.
She was all over you, not the other way around. She willingly did the one night stand, and somebody that loose, that would take a stranger home and have sex with him, is not exactly a good catch. She likely has a history of doing likewise with other men.
I think you're both douchbags. You for not being able to control yourself and have sex with a stranger, and her for not being able to control herself, and have sex with a stranger.
I'd quit while you're ahead, and not make anything 'moral' about this by way of ammends, or apologies.
Next time, control yourself.
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Expert
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Mar 2, 2010, 11:59 AM
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It was a one night stand, and leaving her alone is what you do, to not complicate things further. That also means keeping your mouth shut to your friends, even if she doesn't.
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New Member
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Mar 4, 2010, 12:32 PM
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Ok, came clean. My friends kept telling me she wanted me to call her so I called but she didn't answer, good deal right? Well, she started texting me when we were going to go out again. So instead of texting her back with the bad news I called her and explained the situation to her. Feel like crap now, guess I deserve that. Thanks for all the suggestions everyone.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 4, 2010, 12:36 PM
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You may feel like crap,but at least you were honest with her and did not feed her a c*ck and bull story,she may just see that.
Let it go now.
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Software Expert
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Mar 4, 2010, 12:50 PM
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Never protect yourself at the expense of others, emotionally. Talking to her was probably the right thing to do since she wasn't letting it go.
Confessing to her makes you out to be a bad guy, but that lets her get mad and get over you, which is what you want and it's good for both of you, so that makes you out (secretly) to be a good guy.
Learn from this, sex is instinctively driven, you have no control over the desire, but you need to have complete control of your actions. This kind of activity could (and still can) go badly for you in so many ways, and you're only having to deal with the mildest of them here.
Consider yourself lucky, so far. Save sex for someone you're seriously considering hooking your wagon to forever, because that may be the result anyway.
;)
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Ultra Member
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Mar 4, 2010, 01:09 PM
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To be honest we all do silly things when we get out of a relationship.
You were honest, she will get over it. It was one night. Just get yourself checked and don't get in this situation again.
Just my 2c.
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Junior Member
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Mar 6, 2010, 10:14 AM
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I agree with the others, I think being honest with her will help all parties move forward on what this was. Honesty is the best policy.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 6, 2010, 10:37 AM
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Here's an idea, don't sleep with random people.
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