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nethinkuwant · Jan 13, 2007, 10:25 PM

I have known him for 5 years now and we both hang out with the same people... there are 4 of us and we are all best friends... I wanted to know if we shouldgo out... me and him are notthe kind of people to willingly shar our feelings and yet we all talk to each other about everything... I don't want our relationship to get in the way of ourother two friends... what should I do... ive loved him for 2 years

chuff · Jan 13, 2007, 11:02 PM

Does he have similar feelings? If so I guess you should.

If you do though your relationship with your four friends will change. That's reality.

If you two don't work out then the 4 of you will not be the same.

chippers · Jan 13, 2007, 11:26 PM

That's a toughie!!

You need to weigh the pros and cons. If it were me I'd want to keep him as a best friend. If you 2 do date and it doesn't work out then things get messy and very awkward. It won't be like seinfeld where jerry and elaine stayed best friends. As a couple you can break up and that's that. The fact you know so much about each other could work against you during an argument. That happens when we don't know so much about our love interest.
You need to decide if losing him as a best friend or him losing you is wworth the risk. Best friends are hard to find and harder to keep after a break up.
What ever your decision is I wish you well and God Bless

talaniman · Jan 14, 2007, 09:01 AM

I would say NO, just because of the friendship of the whole crew, let alone you two, could be changed in a bad way forever. Is it worth that risk? I understand the attraction though, and can see the love for a longtime friend, but if a relationship doesn't work what happens to that longtime friend? Life is full of risks though but I would think long and hard about changing a true friendship. Have you talked privately with him to see how he feels? Even knowing how you feel will change the personal dynamics between you both. I personally would not cross the boundary between friends and lovers with out a strong mutual consent. In most cases you can't go back.