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shapedup · Apr 18, 2007, 05:54 AM

How can you tell if a guy really wants you because he likes you or whether a guy is after you for image and sex etc?
Please help me!

Krs · Apr 18, 2007, 06:54 AM

Your question is abit vague, however if you just started dating the guy, don't jump into bed with him until you feel 100% ready!
If he sticks with you then you have your answer ;)

shapedup · Apr 18, 2007, 07:21 AM

I haven't padded it out, as I noticed that the posts that appear longer, do not always get answered!
Basically this guy makes out he likes me a lot, he texts a lot, he apparently always thinks of me and it appears he likes me from the way he is with me, as he always goes out his way to talk to me, and will spend ages just looking into my eyes and he always says I make him happy and that I mean the world to him and I'm his gem etc etc
But I don't know what it is that is making me have second thoughts. I don't know whether it is becase he is different with his mates than he is with me, which makes me think he could be being false to me? And I know all his mates just want anything and everything for sex and I can't help but think well is he really like this? We are completely opposite I am very shy, very timid, worry about what others think of me, wouldn't harm a fly, wouldn't answer anyone back, and he is totally different very outgoing, he has a cocky but jokin attitude, and that makes me think, well how do we like each other if that is the case?
What do you make of this?

whiteladybug2002 · Apr 18, 2007, 07:31 AM

Men always want sex, it is in their genes, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't want more. I agree with the first answer... Wait and see! If he will wait for sex, then he really does like you and wants love!

shapedup · Apr 18, 2007, 07:41 AM

Well in all honesty he has been waiting round for me for 8/9 months and within that time I have said no to him a few times, then said well lets wait a bit because of situations, then lead him on by mistake and now both are heads are messed up... not surprinsingly. He still really likes me and really wants me, but I've heard about some of his past relationships going wrong and I just don't wish for me to be in that situation, but I believe people can change and learn from their mistakes but it's a hard decision to make, and the fact I'm doubting it makes me think maybes its not meant to be, but then I think I should give him a chance?
Thanks for you help guys, really appreciate it, as you can see I'm rather messed up, I think its just mainly as I can't understand why we like each other when we are so different, and I also know that if we got together there would be problems and I know my parents would disagree but id just have to learn to deal with it.. who knows what the future will bring!

shapedup · Apr 18, 2007, 07:43 AM

I also have another quick question, does anyone know if lads mind talking about what they want from a reltionship, or would that be a dreaded question to ask him? And I also want to know what he sees in me, purely because of the way he is different with his mates than he is with me, for some reason I would expect myself not to be his type, but then I think well he wouldn't have waited round that long if not?

al-mukhleseen · Apr 18, 2007, 08:27 AM

Peace be upon you!
May this find you in the best of all conditions.

Shapedup, look in the mirror and note what you see. The reflection you see is in actual reality not the real you. There are those who may have better looks than you or you have better looks than others, this is merely relevant. As the real you is other than your looks.

Sex is a bestial act, animals copulate without emotion, human beings are more sublime than that. They have a dignity which needs to be nurtured, protected and displayed. When a human being loses this dignity, his status reaches below that of an animal, because an animal is an instinctive being and a human being is a rational being.

Because of your gender, does that make you an object of play and lust? No! As a Great Arabian Personality once reminded those around him: "Don not think of yourself as an insignificant drop of sperm, but rather as the words on the pages of the book which unravels the marvels and secrets of the universe."

You are those words, don't sell yourself short, let that person enter your heart and life who will be interested in you for who you are, your character, personality, nature, intelligence, etc. Anything short of that would be a travesty of justice. You are "Human" and need to be treated as such.

shapedup · Apr 18, 2007, 12:13 PM

Sorry to sound rude, but can anyone help me understand the last comment?

saraispiel19 · Apr 18, 2007, 12:15 PM

Guys hαve this thing:
If you sleep with them too soon, your not girlfriend mαteriαl but your α greαt piece of meαt.

Give it some time you don't just wαnt to sleep with αnyone.

Dingbat · Apr 18, 2007, 05:58 PM

Thanks for the advice on my post "She said she's confused lately." All right, here's what I think about your situation, I feel that this guy really likes you if he goes out of his way for you, texts you a lot, and you guys enjoy being together. With the whole sex thing, just wait and see what happens. He'll respect that you want to wait, and if he doesn't then he would most likely be after just sex. But yeah just wait it out and continue enjoying your time that you spend with him until you feel you are ready to commit. With my girlfriend I respected that she wants to wait to have sex, because I like her that much to wait for her, she means a lot to me. So I hope all goes well for you ;) and as for me I think I am going to take your advice and maybe just ask her what she wants from a relationship and tell her what I want. Thanks again.