Okay, well before I explain the situation I thought it would be wise to give you all the tells and what's happen so far. Here it goes:

I recently had fallen for a friend of mine this past couple of months during the worst time ever. And you will see why...

Around early December, she had broken up with her ex-boyfriend that she has been with around 13 months.At the time, I wasn't really into her or looking for a rebound because I knew they might be working things out etc. So as a friend, I was there for her in times she felt lonely or just needed that person to talk. Of course, during the time of need, her rants or speeches were all " Im going to be happy without him....the single life is better...." The usual anti-relationship speeches. She even said she never gives guys a second chance. I guess we also got closer as friends getting to know each other a little bit more.

Now don't get me wrong... her ex has been really mistreated her and I thought it wasn't right at all. Sure enough, around the christmas break he asks for her back and she said yes.

When she told me that... I got piss... because all the things she talk about basically went down the drain. She knew I was piss... we didn't talk for days anymore... funny... I guess I sort of did have feelings for her.

When the spring session was about start. <FYI: College people were dealing with, I'm 21>
We decided to be friends and things seem to be normal once again. The only thing now was her parents were being over protected about her... <can you blame them?>
She was hurt once... and they didn't want her to get hurt again. Basically, her boyfriend and her father were always getting into heated agruments... and eventually... she was put into a position to choose either her family... or him because he really really hated her parents.

So around February, she broke up with him.

Now then... heres my situation...

Around March during the Spring break time... her and I started talking... or getting to
Know each other a little bit more. I finally grew some balls and started telling her how I really like her and I told her I was really interested in her. She finally decide to be honest as well and told me the more we talked, the more she grew a interest in me.

In may, we got very close and things seemed to be great. The feelings seemed mutal and in the last 3 weeks of may <when school was out> I always went over to her house... hanged out with her... her family loves me.. Went out to eat with her parents every other day for dinner... we've held hands... and cuddled. Even during the last few weeks of school... I always left her notes underneath the door... on her car... I guess... really giving her the attention.

You would think by then... we would get together... or at least kissed but...

Her thing is... right now she really wants to be right me... but she always states that she wants things to go perfect... like when we date... we can kiss...
She also wants to figure herself out because she wants me to fall in love with the real her... not the girl with a broken heart. I guess you can say... time was going to be my biggest ally here.


The thing that's bugging me... its June right now,her and I are back for summer school for 4 weeks where her ex-boyfriend hometown is located. The last time we talked or even hanged out was a couple of days before summer school started... and she told me she wanted to distant herself and be alone. So the first week of summer school went by... no contact from her... I couldn't bear the mind games... so I asked her if she was mad at me or if I did something... to please tell me. She told me " No im not, I just need my space" those are the words you never want to hear... and I thought it was BS too because she was hanging out with her ex-boyfriend... and everybody else. All my buds told me just to cut her off... and so I did. By luck... the 2nd week of Monday... I get a text message from her sister... asking if Ive seen her at all. I did the smart thing and told her that we haven't spoken in a while... and hasn't seen her at all. To make things worse... her mom then calls me... asking me if Ive seen her daughter and then asked me to go to her dorm and see if she was there. I was put in the most messed up position ever... lol

Luckily... she called her parents back. I took advantage of the sitauation and called her... explaining how I knew she wanted her "Space" but her parents put in a position to establish contact. She said she was sorry and I got things cleared up because according to her... she really really really appreciates how I am the only person giving her space because everybody else doesn't seem to leave her alone. I then confronted her about hanging out with her ex and friends... she explained that she couldn't tell them that she needed to be alone because they would all get butt hurt... etc. I took her word... because her friends and ex were emotionally weak and so dependent. I did failed to mention that her ex does know I like her... so that is why I'm worried... because I think he's going on the defensive. She appreciates everything I was doing for her... and warns me about the notes I leave for her underneath the car windshield or dorm... <even though she told me she loves it when I do that> and doesn't want any more heat from her ex.

Just last night on Friday... I decided to leave a note on her windshield... and her car wasn't there... it was at her ex-boyfriends place... at 5:00 am in the morning. It makes sense that she was going home for the weekend... to maybe see him before she went back... but to crash there?? At that point... I really lost it...

I understand she is a single person and is at liberty to do whatever she wants... but my overall question is... should I just confront her about the whole "SPACE" and just ask for the truth because its obvious she is seeing everybody else... but me... and I just don't understand because I never did anything... to hurt her... or give her doubt about me??
All my buds were telling me I was being stored away... etc. I made the choice to stick with her... because... that how I feel... but I don't know... things seem so against me right now.

Any thoughts??
I really want to be with her... but every time I tell her... she tells me... "you'll know when im ready"

Sounds to me like she is playing you man. I think that you need to get away from this situation or you are just going to end up heartbroken yourself. I know how you feel I have been in the same situation and it just ends really badly believe me.

I agree with Cjeep. She doesn't want to hurt you so she is playing the 'It's me, not you, that has a problem'.
Best thing you can do is forget her and move on.

It sounds like she's not over her ex and doesn't really know what she wants. You would better off going on with your life and let her have the space she wants to figure herself out. It sounds like she's giving you excuses just to buy her more time to play with your heart and fool around with her ex or whoever. Save yourself the heart ache and let go of her. You are going to meet tons of people through out you're college years and you'll eventually meet the right person one these days. And you'll look back at your past and be glad you waited for the one that's right for you and you'll know when you've met the right person for you. Good luck

You obviously haven't read the rules, or didn't understand them. This one applies to you,

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get involved with a female who is not over her ex!!


You should have taken the hint when they broke up, and got back together. Common sense would have told you that it would have taken her a while to heal, and get over this dude, but no, you had to get attached and she let you. That was a real big red flag, she had something up her sleeve, but your feelings blinded you didn't they??


Now you see her doing it again, and you still wont take the hint, she ain't thru with him, but needs you to fall back on again, AS A FRIEND and support.

This is a NO BRAINER, back away, and leave her alone to support herself, so you keep your dignity, and self respect, and won't feel like a fool who is being played by a confused female with her own agenda.


You don't have to confront any one, just protect yourself by dealing with the reality of your own situation, NOT HERS!!!


SIMPLY STOP BEING SO AVAILABLE TO THIS FEMALE!


Let yourself heal, without her influence. Thats what YOU need.

Have to add, trying to move in on a female who needs healing herself is not a very good decision in the first place. Some friend you are, you had your own agenda, and it wasn't just about friendship either.

Talaniman... you are so right.

Im really going to take your advice... we'll see what happens...
Thanks

I agree with all of the above. This girl was using you because she knew you would be there if things turned bad, again. It's so obvious she is not over her ex, and space, in her case probably means leave me alone I'm not ready for another relationship I want my old relationship back. Move on, find another girl who likes you for you and not putting you on the back burner.