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    4answers's Avatar
    4answers Posts: 200, Reputation: 35
    Full Member

    Apr 20, 2007, 07:46 AM
    Rejection !
    It appears to be left up to the guy to show emotional interest in a girl.

    Girls do not pursue a guy. This makes it very difficult for a guy to know if the girl likes him, he can be friendly and look for indications of interest or he can ask her out. But if she does not know him, then she will reject him. No one likes to be rejected.

    What is the best way, without suffering the embarrassment of rejection ?
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
    Full Member

    Apr 20, 2007, 08:07 AM
    COMMUNICATION... lot of us do not realize the potential of this key strategy in working out friendships/relationships of any nature... for me... unless I talk it out... or not comfortable talking about a certain thing... then the relationship can never be taken in the right perspective. If one doesn't want to go through the feeling of rejection, it's best to ask what's going on than just lay back and think that things will be all right or fall in place... u get my point!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,187, Reputation: 10852

    Apr 20, 2007, 07:20 PM
    Rejection is fueled by our own fear, and the only way to overcome that fear is to face it head on, with self confidence. You never know how things will turn out, if you let your fears rule you.
    Geoffersonairplane's Avatar
    Geoffersonairplane Posts: 1,195, Reputation: 286
    Ultra Member

    Apr 21, 2007, 04:17 AM
    I agree with tal, never let your fears rule you.

    You do have to face fears head on in order to overcome them..

    A bit like phobias, if you have a phobia, often the best course of tratment is gradual exposure to the fear.
    4answers's Avatar
    4answers Posts: 200, Reputation: 35
    Full Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 08:36 AM
    Cant seem to get to BF Stage
    I can talk to women even if I don't know them. But I can never (hardly ever) get to a boyfriend state. They either say no and see me as a friend or avoid me... Can't decided if its appearance or communication issue.

    Any thoughts?

    I am generally able to make them laugh...
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 08:41 AM
    Well how are you going about it? You cannot instantly become someone's boyfriend. Typically there is dating involved and getting to know one another before deciding to make a commitment to one another.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 10:11 AM
    I think you push too hard too fast. That's going to raise a red flag in any woman's eyes and naturally make them play it safe by saying either a flat-out no or "I see you as a friend." You need to keep up the talking to them/making them laugh routine but not with any pressure or requests to "get serious" or anything similar. "Getting around to boyfriend" will happen in its own time, so let it.
    p_rich91's Avatar
    p_rich91 Posts: 40, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 12:55 PM
    You can't be trying to get to a boyfriend stage or it will mess things up and scare the women off. Just take things as they come and if it's right it will eventually get to that stage. It usually happens when you're not expecting it... you can't force love. Good luck!
    4answers's Avatar
    4answers Posts: 200, Reputation: 35
    Full Member

    Aug 13, 2007, 01:55 AM
    Perspectives. Male and Female
    When I find a woman physically attractive I will initiate some form of contact leading to conversation. I then look for Indications of interest to see if she likes me. Before asking her out.

    This can include things like, is she coming to talk to me when she next sees me, is she initiating some form of contact. Is she trying to get closer? Is she taking an interest in me?
    Does she purposly try to catch my eye, etc.

    But generally I find I receive the same response of the woman enjoying talking to me. But when I see her out, I do not get any initiated responses from them. They do not go out of their way to speak to me specifically. Or show any signs of attraction. And in some cases have a barrier raised to getting closer even if they are very friendly.

    If a guy is talking to a girl and she is emotional / Romantically attracted / interested in him surly they will show this!

    Is this the case or do women generally avoid this display of attraction waiting for the man to show everything. If it is the latter then from my own perspective, if I like someone and I do not receive Indications of interest back from her, then this is a sign not to pursue. But since this happens on most encounters, I suspect my perspective might be in error!

    My rational is that I am either unatractive and seen just as a friend or my veiws on this subject is flawed. Not sure which.

    Any thoughts?
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member

    Aug 16, 2007, 11:41 AM
    I think you are over-thinking it. Dating should be fun. We meet people, we flirt, we laugh. We relax and enjoy the evening. We might exchange phone numbers. We might even walk home together. Just relax and go flow. It sounds like you are getting ahead of yourself and planning the end of the evening somewhere in the middle.
    victoria_mitchell's Avatar
    victoria_mitchell Posts: 242, Reputation: 32
    Full Member

    Aug 16, 2007, 12:35 PM
    I think that girls play hard to get along with other things.

    When I met boyfriends in the past and current I would totally and completely ignore them as much as I humanly could and give them just enough attention to not come off as a . I know I know weird weird weird but very honest.

    I don't know about these other girls you are talking about but my personal reason for using this method is simple... If I ignore or put off a guy it makes me not seem desprate, it tells him I'm doing my own thing so I won't be needy if we end up getting together, also I like a guy that likes a little bit of a challenge I want a guy that wants me so by doing this grand fasaud if after he makes a pass at me still enev after my ignoring him he REALLY is interested and not just looking for his next girlfriend but looking for THE girlfriend, but the BIGGEST reason I do it... Protect myself. Most girls me included get very attached very easily... I have a tendency to fall in love with the idea of someone very quickly and then I almost convince myself that "this guy, is the guy for me!" I guess you could say I "obsess" not like phsyco obsessed (lol) but then I get my heart broken when he didn't actually want to be with me or he wants to be friends or I'm not his type or whatever... this way (by putting him off and ignoring him) I don't get hurt and tell myself there is something there when there isn't.

    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
    Full Member

    Aug 16, 2007, 12:57 PM

    Meeting a Lady you don't know or have not been introduced to by friends can be a lot of fun if you play the game. YES it is a game in most cases. The Lady will flirt just enough to get your attention then stop. Now its up to you to give her a reason to flirt more. Just a Hi how are you isn't enough to open the door. You have to use jokes and make her smile. You have to be sweet and open but not telling her anything about you. She doesn't want to know your life history all at once. But you need to give her some information so she can feel comfortable that your not some jerk that's going to hurt her.

    This all happens in the first few min's so relax and let things happen. The Guys that get the ladies know there is always another one waiting so they don't look or act needy.

    OK by now your saying I don't want to play the game. That's Cool so you change the way you meet ladies. Join clubs where you already have things in common. A Lady salesperson is always a great pick up because you have her attention and you can ask her about what she sells. Anything to open the door. The internet is a great place to find Ladies as long as you keep what you tell her on line limited until you get to know each other.

    Good Luck
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350

    Aug 16, 2007, 01:01 PM
    Pay attention to body language over emotions or verbal reactions. Legs crossed toward you, a good sign. Arms crossed across her midsection, a bad sign. They may be slightly guarded, but with good reason when approached by a stranger. Most women may feel insecure, let alone vulnerable when approached. Men typically don't have that strong of a response to a seemingly harmless exchange.

    Women learn to play hard-to-get either by mothers ;) or by experience. Since guys are 90% of the time the one in pursuit a woman may get approached 1,004,892 times.. which can get a little tiresome. Also, it's a gauge on if a particular man is interested. If I semi-ignore you but you still seem confident enough to continue on with a conversation regardless, my interest is growing. Body language may change and the exchange may progress...
    If nothing else, it's a game. Men are the "hunters" while women are the "gatherers." You approach and we collect ;)
    cheerbabi49's Avatar
    cheerbabi49 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 22, 2010, 04:02 PM

    Rejection... *sigh*

    Rejection is hard, a lot of us go through. I did. There was a guy that I liked and at first he did like me. Then he stopped talking to me. No heys no wats up? I was mad and sad at first. Then I started giving up on him little by give up on a guy, you have to do things that you enjoy, live carefree, and don't stop living. You shouldn't be heartbroken by a guy. You should have fun. Don't get too serious about a guy until you know him really well, and you know you like him. So, if you get rejected, start actually LIVING. You won't really start living until you lose something you love.

    If that helps, comment me.

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