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    lillypyh's Avatar
    lillypyh Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 12, 2006, 08:37 AM
    I have recently started dating a women for the last month and a half. This is her first lesbian relationship. And my second. I just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship at the end of November of 2005. My ex screwed me over by lying and stringing me along, and many other things. I can honestly say to myself that I do not want her back anymore. But one of my questions is, why do I still find myself driving around the area by her house? And why do I care that her parents are now selling their house?
    Another question, is that my new girlfriend, had been broken up with her ex for only a week, before she started talking to me. Her past relationship was also for about 2 years. But with a guy. Should I be concerned that she jumped into a new relationship so quickly? She keeps telling me that she really does like me. But a part of me can't help but think that she is just trying out a "new toy". What's your opinion?
    Thanks for reading. Looking forward to hearing from any of you.
    milliec's Avatar
    milliec Posts: 262, Reputation: 55
    Full Member

    Apr 13, 2006, 12:50 AM
    I wouldn't know the answer to the question you posted, but I think there are questions you ought to ask yourself:
    Why are YOU in this relationship?
    Is it because your ex parents sell the house?
    Is your heart still with the ex,
    Or is it only pain due to the way your relationship with her ended.
    I think that you first OWE these answers to yourself, before moving on. You might need to heal before you jump into another relationship, so that you won't get hurt, or hurt someone else.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Apr 13, 2006, 06:18 AM
    People need people no doubt but it is so hard to heal from past relationships when you jump right into another. The answer to a broken heart is not to find somebody else to heal you but to give yourself a chance to heal. Only then can we get rid of the baggage of the past and be ready to move on with a fresh and clear mind and soul.:cool: :)
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member

    Apr 13, 2006, 06:25 AM
    Time is healer :)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Apr 13, 2006, 07:29 AM
    People often wonder about their ex's and time seems to let us remember the good and forget the bad, so yes often after the pain is healing, we have this desire often to go back to the ex.

    But of course you don't just happen to drive someone, you choose to, and you have to start making choices not to go by, and so on.

    As far as the new friend, if they were only broke up for one or two weeks
    There is no way they are over. They are trying to find something to help them get over. While these types of relationships can work, most often they do not
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member

    Apr 13, 2006, 03:37 PM
    lillypyh - just be careful - both of you may have been hurt before. Glad you are over your ex.

    Just take it one day at a time. You've been together 2 months, so there has to be some growth there - right? Bonding? Closeness?

    Do you trust her? You are a smart women to ask those questions.

    This is the hard part - ask her. Get her thinking. You may not like the answer, but in the long run you want to know if it's for keeps or, as you say a 'toy'. I'd rather know now than 6 months from now - when the 'toy' loses favor.
    dancerwriter's Avatar
    dancerwriter Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Apr 12, 2008, 05:06 PM
    Number one, stop stalking your ex. That is what driving around does. Just have the will power not to do it. It's hurful to yourself.
    When you want to do it, write her a letter but don't send it.
    Cry while you write the letter. Just wait for time to heal your wound.
    Don't date this new woman. Total rebound.

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