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    foreverromantic's Avatar
    foreverromantic Posts: 176, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 27, 2018, 02:13 PM
    Platonic friends with ex
    Why is it that a person cannot be a platonic friend with his EX (friend and Lover). I went with someone for almost 8 years. We had purchased 3 motorcycles together and traveled around to different places as well as staying at each other's homes occasionally. I split with him 6 years ago as I was bored and recently saw him on the street and we began talking.
    I thought maybe we could be platonic friends and maybe have a meal together, talk. This I found out was not at all possible. He started to make sexual advances toward me and I backed away. This is NOT what I expected.
    Am I wrong to think we could have been "platonic friends". We are both age 50 now.
    Any info is appreciated.
    Thanks
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Mar 27, 2018, 02:17 PM
    I'm friends with a lot of me exes, but we were all very young when we dated, and now we're all in our late 40's, so it was easier to transition to become friends.

    Not everyone can be platonic friends with an ex. It requires that both people accept that the past relationship is over, that there cannot and will not be anything romantic. Sometimes it's just best to leave an ex in the past and not try to include them in your future.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,104, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Mar 28, 2018, 07:50 AM
    I'm a guy and never expect anything but a hi ya' been, and see ya around, from a chance meeting with an ex. Of course a lot depends on the relationship/married status at the time, but being friends with someone that dumped me, not going to happen. Roll in the hay for old times sake...MAYBE If we are both single.

    He started to make sexual advances toward me and I backed away. This is NOT what I expected.
    Nor sure I fully understand what that means as many ex lovers greet with a hug or kiss, and there is nothing sexual about it. Some hate each other. I really can't see just going in, without a conversation, straight to a sexual advance...in public? What am I missing? Regardless most adults can't be friends with exes and lovers just because of the baggage, and history.

    Obviously he didn't want to be JUST friends without some extra benefit. Come on, do females actually think you can dump a guy, and then be friends years later? That's very unrealistic. You never know what a break up will do to people over time. Might be the point he was making to you or testing your intentions.

    I hated it when I got dumped and they tried to make me a girlfriend, or some kind of emotional tampon. Haven't you ever read what I have been writing over the years to people who break up FR? If he had dumped YOU back in the day, would you be open to a meal between friends?

    Love to hear what you think.


    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #4

    Mar 28, 2018, 02:07 PM
    I don't really believe you can backtrack and have a platonic relationship with someone you had a sexual relationship with. It just cant work. On the same page, one cant expect to have anymore then a sexual relationship with someone in a 'friends with benefits'.

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