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    Alessandra25's Avatar
    Alessandra25 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 24, 2008, 08:39 PM
    In pain and not wanting to let go
    I know what everyone says about letting go.
    But I really love this man. And I don't imagine myself with a better partner.
    We were together for a year, a year where I was a jealous person and he turned into a very impatient man. He'd yell and a couple of times he bruised my face. I know what you are thinking but I must admit I am a PSYCHO and I really pushed his buttons, from going through his phone to checking his email, not letting him go out etc. He left. We didn't see each other for 6 weeks, then I saw him again. This was May .It is October now. We see each other twice a week, and we keep to continue fighting, it is so much pain and drama its insane, I am exhausted. But I don't want to let him go, I see him and man... I don't want to victimize myself but... Today he came over and said I MUST let him go, that he has never been in this situation so has no clue how to act. It is very weird because he sent me an email saying we shouldn't argue next time just focus on making love, but then he comes over and says he can't have sex and nada... I understand his confussion... but... it hurts.

    I really love him, and I know the best thing for me to do is to let him go, but I don't want to.
    What can I do? What SHOULD I do? Do you think he is just playing games? Do you think he is suffering and confused too?

    It is so hard to let go, to get close to someone who pushes you away. He said he loves me but it's not in love w me anymore, yet he keeps coming back...

    HELP!
    missteetee's Avatar
    missteetee Posts: 60, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Oct 24, 2008, 09:46 PM

    Love is never suppose to hurt, no matter how mad you make a person. I think that you should leave him if he is physically hurting you but if to want to work it out then go to counseling.
    silent27's Avatar
    silent27 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 25, 2008, 04:37 AM
    I don't quite agree with what missteetee said about love is never suppose to hurt, I'm actually going through something similar but with my girlfriend breaking up with me after being together with her for 6 years and have a three year old also, I am like you right now so that's why I came here my user name on this is " silent27 " you should take a look at my question and the answers people told me it might actually helpu out or at lest make you feel a little better,specially the answer the rocket scientist gave me,I know what your going through girl just stay strong and focus on yourself to be a better person,and here's my quote for you and it might be a little harsh but think about it , everything happens for a reason... " everything must end for it to begin again " ;)
    missteetee's Avatar
    missteetee Posts: 60, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 25, 2008, 09:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by silent27 View Post
    i don't quite agree with what missteetee said about love is never suppose to hurt, i'm actually going through something similar but with my girlfriend breaking up with me after being together with her for 6 years and have a three year old also, i am like u right now so that's why i came here my user name on this is " silent27 " u should take a look at my question and the answers people told me it might actually helpu out or at lest make u feel a little better,specially the answer the rocket scientist gave me,i know what your going through girl just stay strong and focus on yourself to be a better person,and heres my quote for you and it might be a little harsh but think about it , everything happens for a reason............................ " everything must end for it to begin again " ;)
    I meant that if he loves her he should never put his hands on her regardless of how mad she makes him. Of course going through a break up is very painful and yes it hurts like hell. I have been in the same situation you have been in Alessandra25. In fact I am going through a painful situtation now. I have told myself each time that I need to let him go and I just can't. He can go weeks without calling me and I'm fine but the minute he calls me back I go straight back to him. Its been 3 weeks since I let him go and I miss him like crazy, but I deserve better. The problem is he won't commit to me and I am what he calls that "special friend". But I want to be more than 'special friend". We have been seeing each other since 2003 and I don't understand why I am not good enough to be his girl friend. His being unable to commit to me is why I have choose to let him go. It hurts like hell but I deserve better and its time I let this chapter in my life go.
    SimpleguyJoe's Avatar
    SimpleguyJoe Posts: 302, Reputation: 68
    Full Member
     
    #5

    Oct 26, 2008, 01:03 PM

    I would at least stop having sex with him. That will tell you if he is seeing you for sex or you. But really if someone does not want you don't waste your time. That is time that could be well spent on healing and eventually trying something new.

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