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    No boyfriend? Why?

    Asked Feb 8, 2007, 03:00 PM 8 Answers
    All right.
    Many guys are often curious to find out whether I have a boyfriend or not, and because my answer is often "no", they always ask WHY don't you have a boyfriend?

    People, especially guys, are extremely surprised when I tell them that I do not have a boyfriend (let's say... right now).
    Sometimes, they even ask the reasons for this... But for me, somehow, it's just the way it is... I don't know.
    I'm not an ugly girl, some say I seem too "good" to be true, I'm even too nice but I also seem shy sometimes.

    In your opinion, why wouldn't someone have a boyfriend?
    They're better off alone? NO, I don't think so.
    They're not nice? Well, talking about myself, I've never heard anyone saying I'm not nice.
    They're not good looking? I don't think I'm ugly... no, I'm not.

    WHY? I'm just asking for your opinions. Thanks! :)

    By the way, I'm not that young... almost 20, but people often say I'm too mature and discerning for my age.

    Last edited by kristynn; Feb 8, 2007 at 03:57 PM.
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    8 Answers
    Nosnosna's Avatar
    Nosnosna Posts: 434, Reputation: 103
    Full Member

    Feb 8, 2007, 03:08 PM
    The reason we act surprised, in general, is because we've come to the conclusion that the girl we're speaking with could have any guy she wanted. So it's surprising to us that, with all the guys we imagine lining up to be with her, she's still single.

    My assumption is always that a girl has other things going on in her life and doesn't need or want a relationship at that point. Of course, that's simple projection, since that's the reason I'm single (well, half the reason... anybody who's known me for any length of time knows I'm infuriating :)).
    Scleros's Avatar
    Scleros Posts: 2,166, Reputation: 262
    Hardware Expert

    Feb 27, 2007, 09:55 PM
    Reasons, excuses, speculation, etc:
    1. She doesn't really want one.
    2. She's so freakin' gorgeous that all but the boldest men psyche themselves out of even approaching her.
    3. She says "NO" when asked out.
    4. She has a mental image of her "perfect" superstud and no one fits the mold.
    5. Someone started a nasty rumor about her that everybody knows and believes.
    6. Her flock of 50 cats follows her everywhere.
    7. When a guy asks her if she has a boyfriend she says something that scares the guy away or otherwise rejects him. (Geez, pack the puppy up and take him home.)
    8. People mistake her for a guy.
    9. Her father is the local organized crime lord.
    10. She's gay and in denial?
    11. She's dated everyone at least once and there is no one left.
    12. She's married.
    13. She's actually a chimpanzee that believes she's a human.
    14. She doesn't know what she wants.
    15. She lives in a shoe.
    17. She works for a package delivery company in the future and has one eye.
    16. Guys make her extremely nervous and she avoids them.
    18. If someone touches her, they die.
    19. She has terrible, horrible, no good, very bad breath AND loves reading Dr. Suess out loud.
    20. Her primary mode of transportation is broomstick.
    21. Her social circle consists of unavailable/outside of age range guys.
    22. Her mother is President and the Secret Service agents are killing her social life.
    23. She's a professional body builder that promotes herself by snapping men in two.
    24. She is a solitary individual.
    25. She wears garish all pink outfits with lots of lace.
    26. She works double shifts in a cheese factory and often fails to bathe daily.
    27. She finds she has little in common with work/school/church acquaintances.
    28. She doesn't create opportunities for guys to get to know her.
    29. She resides primarily in the future instead of the now and has passed on opportunities because it didn't seem probable that she and he would work out.
    30. She hasn't a met a guy she's been really, really, really attracted to.

    I could go on... (but I won't because I'm tired)... only you can answer that question.
    emoXpixxie's Avatar
    emoXpixxie Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Mar 2, 2007, 05:30 AM
    If you don't have a boyfriend, the reason is you probably don't want one. Maybe your not in the boyfriend space, you just need some me time. Also, if your 20, that's a time for finding yourself and getting into life. When you've sorted stuff out, maybe you'll want an get a boyfriend.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,668, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member

    Mar 2, 2007, 05:41 AM
    Honestly, I do not understand why people think others should have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It goes both ways by the way.

    Some people have a partner younger some people have a partner when they get older. Some want to focus on a career first, or just have fun with their life before being committed. There are so many different reasons.

    There are people who feel like you and the only reason they feel this way is because of what others say and quite honestly it should not matter what other people say. You do not really need a boyfriend and if you think you do, that is because your insecure. You do not have a boyfriend now, your fine with that? Then you have a higher self esteem and you do not need to have somebody by your side right now.

    20 is still very young. There are people who do not get involved with somebody until they are in their late 20's and others that do not prefer to get involved with anybody at all. It does not matter eighter way, as long as you do not let others push you and make you feel bad for not having a relationship. If you feel pressured into seeing somebody it is sure to fail.

    It has to be natural at your own pace, in your own time. When it is the right time it will happen.

    incognito's Avatar
    incognito Posts: 92, Reputation: 24
    Junior Member

    Mar 2, 2007, 10:32 PM
    What's wrong with not having a boyfriend or girlfriend at your age?
    Some guys would take it as you being a very headstrong and independent woman, someone not to mess with.
    I wish that I knew more females who were comfortable with being single and didn't fret and complain about being single.
    If I came across a single, attractive, intelligent, and mature young female, my first thoughts would be that she knows what she is looking for and that she hasn't found it yet in anyone.
    kristynn's Avatar
    kristynn Posts: 502, Reputation: 66
    Senior Member

    Mar 3, 2007, 07:13 AM
    Thank you all for answering. I pretty much agree with what you're all saying.

    Still, what I get from people is... "why not?" "how come you out of all the people?" etc. etc. etc.

    Anyway, I don't complain.
    vids's Avatar
    vids Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 3, 2010, 11:54 AM
    Dear Kristynn!
    Am 22 yrs old and I faced the same situation some time back.. so I think I could probably help you out!! :)
    A good relationship(like a bf/gf ) needs better understanding of each other and the understanding starts from a good friendship.. Your good friend can become your good lover and that relation will last without any break in a lifetime!
    So plzz don't try searching for a "boy friend" just because some one hopes you to have one!
    vids's Avatar
    vids Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 3, 2010, 11:59 AM

    And I know it is too late to answer your post sent in 2007.. any ways I want the future users to at least take the answer! :)

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