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euipo · May 29, 2016, 11:31 AM

Guys never ask for my phone number. Also, I have never had a boyfriend before in my life or have never been asked out. Additionally, guys do not approach me. I am 21 and I am in college and the guys around my college do not seem interested in me. I see college guys with other women but they don't really hit on me or try to make a move. One guy even hit on my roommate but they do not hit on me. I get sad (and even catch myself crying a lot) because people in college and are already dating but I have been single my entire life. My love life is and has always been nonexistent. Plus, all of my friends have boyfriends and I'm pretty much the left out one. I mean, I just want to experience love and share my life with someone special.

tickle · May 29, 2016, 01:49 PM

Why not just ditch the 'love' notion and go for friendship first. Love can come after once you find someone and connect, but friendship is a good thing too. Tell us what experiences you have had and maybe we can work around a solution for you.

talaniman · May 29, 2016, 05:07 PM

Do you have guy friends and activities and hobbies that you enjoy? What kind of social life besides work or school do you have? Ever thought to ask a guy out? Looking for love and romance is a lousy idea in my opinion, as compared to having fun, and making friends. Things usually develop from those friendship encounters and engagements, even when you get matched online, which is the rage among young people nowadays.

Tell us something about yourself besides your age.

euipo · May 29, 2016, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

Why not just ditch the 'love' notion and go for friendship first. Love can come after once you find someone and connect, but friendship is a good thing too. Tell us what experiences you have had and maybe we can work around a solution for you.

So I go to the gym sometimes to keep in shape (I am 5'6 and weigh 120 pounds). I have joined some clubs on campus-I joined a christian club where I met some people. I got along very well with the girls in the club. But the guys in the christian club ignore me and do not seem interested in wanting to get to know me. Yes, I am a shy person (maybe that is why they do not like me?) but people always tell me about how nice/gentle of a person I am. I am not going to lie, the fact that the guys in the christian club ignored me really hurt my self confidence and has made me not want to socialize with people anymore. As of now, I ditched the christian club. However, as of right now, I am looking into volunteering.

talaniman · May 30, 2016, 04:33 AM

But the guys in the christian club ignore me and do not seem interested in wanting to get to know me. Yes, I am a shy person (maybe that is why they do not like me?)

Could you be ignoring them as well? They do not know you, since you are a stranger, but what do you do to engage them? Get to know THEM? Whether joining or volunteering you don't make friends by being shy and waiting and wanting people to show interest or attention.

I am not going to lie, the fact that the guys in the christian club ignored me really hurt my self confidence and has made me not want to socialize with people anymore.

No need to be so hard on yourself and it's a big mistake to assume people don't like you because they don't know you (You don't know the either!). Perhaps they are as shy as you are (maybe more shy) so why make yourself even more insecure by running away?

You only take your fears and insecurities with you where ever you go and to no surprise the results will be the same. Maybe you lack the confidence to engage others, or even take a chance to do so. That could stand some changing.

It couldn't hurt and is way better than ASSUMING, and running away.