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    Siennahttp's Avatar
    Siennahttp Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Nov 27, 2019, 12:08 PM
    How do I get my ex bf back?!
    Soo I had a boyfriend for about 2 month and we broke up a month ago. He was a fantastic bf and he would drive almost 2 hours down from his college to come see me. We would text every single day and keep in contact any way we could. While we were together , he would always bring up how he sometimes felt he couldn’t be everything I needed and I would always tell him he was . One day he asked me how I thought we were doing and I said good and then he said the long distance was really hard for him so we should take a break. I accepted the breakup amicably even though I was dying inside. I cried my eyes out for two days and my roommate who’s incredible had to help me get through it. About 2 days later I couldn’t take it anymore and texted him that I missed talking to him and he said he missed talking to me too. Then I told him I didn’t want it to be fully over and he was like you’re the one who said we should completely end things. Then he asked what did I want us to be and I told him I wanted to be together again and he was like how are we supposed to be together when you’re so far from me then we went back and forth and he finally came to a conclusion that it wouldn’t work. I was just really confused all the time because he would always tell me I was everything he needed and he just wanted me and always missed me. A few weeks later we had been texting off and on and decided to be friends even though he brought up fwb which I ONLY agreed because I wanted to keep him in my life . I’m a virgin so I knew I wasn’t going to have sex anyway. So I went home with my roommate one weekend and we met up halfway and we kissed in his car and talked a lil and he gave me a hickey after I told him a tall guy invited me out and he was like “you think all tall guys are cute, there’s some ugly tall guys.” Then I told him I didn’t want sex because of feelings after kissing got too heated and he said he understood and drove me back. Maybe a few weeks after that I texted him saying I missed his d**k and he answered fast and said “I thought we decided that wasn’t what we wanted lol” and I said I still missed playing around and stuff and he didn’t answer. But he views ALL my Snapchat’s I post and still has my number and all of out messages from Snapchat and iMessage. I’ve been posting that I got asked out and that I got a new car ( I did ) and basically me being successful but we broke up because I didn’t have a car so do you’ll think he’ll text. The only reason I can think of why he does all this is bc he never had a lot of feelings for me ( which would make him a liar ) or he still wants to keep track of my life but do you think he’s starting to miss me yet?! Should I tell him happy thanksgiving tomorrow since we’re both in town and home for the week
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,799, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Nov 27, 2019, 12:18 PM
    It boils down to, do YOU want him in your life as your only boyfriend?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,793, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert

    Nov 27, 2019, 09:29 PM
    He does not seem to be interested anymore. I think you need to move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Nov 28, 2019, 06:13 AM
    Is this your first boyfriend? Plain to see between the distance and teasing he is very frustrated, and has had enough after just a few months. Since you agreed to this FWB's crap, and don't intend to hold up your part, of course you have created a conflict where you get what you want but he does not. I think you are correct and need to recognize his feelings are fueled by lust and yours border on emotional dependence. Comes down to what are you holding on to if these conflicts arise after only two months? He made it plain what he wants and it's un unfair manipulation on his part which is just as unfair as you agreeing to the benefits you now with hold.

    I highly suggest YOU focus on getting your emotions under control and stop making promises you don't intend to keep, which also means leaving him alone. Nothing more disgusting than teasing a fellow with a false promise, and then throwing it in his face how other guys are chasing you, and you have accepted their invitation.

    Keep in mind your misery and confusion is YOU doing this to yourself, and ignoring that he has honestly told you what he wants and is unhappy with things the way they are, especially since you seem to have options beyond him. Heck this whole relationship is so unbalanced it can never work, and while it was great for you for 2 months it's NOT for him. A simple and obvious case of to much, to fast, crash and burn. Make a clean break and allow yourself to get your emotional control back, because this cannot work until you do.

    It may never work as long as he isn't happy, and he wants his lust fulfilled. A hickey just won't do it, and is but a mark for other guys to see. I suspect you are to old for high school games, and not old enough for mature HEALTHY relationships and like I said its a huge red flag to pay attention too when the distance relationship hits a major snag in a few short months.

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