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lickemlolly · Jan 31, 2006, 08:52 AM

All right here's a good one for you wilcat... havent been on in a while but a lot has changed I have been in a new rship for the past 5 months... New man is married with 4 kids... wife has chromes disease and spends a lot of time in the hospital... says he loves me and I blieve him... naive?YES! But that's beside the point... whats the chances that he will further pursue the rship or will he stay with wifey... my common sense is telling me he won't leave her but there are days when we will talk and he's going through it wit her... says things like she is an ungrateful *****... I told him one day he was the only married man I ever talked to because that really wasn't my style and he said hopefully I will be the last married man you will talk to... what do you think?

Wildcat21 · Jan 31, 2006, 09:23 AM

3% chance. Probably less in your case if she's sick. You're filling the void his wife can't provide. 4 kids as well - that's a lot payments the next few years he would have no control over.

You need to decide if you want to be a mistress.

Remember ladies - married guys WILL tell you anything possible if there life is unfullfilled at home sexually.

Just tought love - sorry.

fredg · Jan 31, 2006, 09:47 AM

Hi,
Being involved with a married man is not a good idea at all.
Normally, nothing really good comes of it.
Since his wife is ill with 4 kids, he will not divorce her; and you are caught in the middle of a love that willl never be; or at least, after 28 yrs of marriage, is my opinion.
The longer you continue trying to determine how to make this work, the longer and more your heart will be broken.
Please break if off; talk with others, and start meeting single men. There is someone out there just for you; caring, wonderful, respectful, and kind to you; with no ties to anyone else. I do wish you the best.

nwsflash · Jan 31, 2006, 12:54 PM

You need to decide if you want to be a mistress.

Remember ladies - married guys WILL tell you anything possible if there life is unfullfilled at home sexually.

With this guy talk is cheap action speaks more than any words could ever. Go out and find yourself a nice single guy with no strings, it will be less hassel in the long run.

I'm sure you don't want to be the girl on the side forever.

letmeno · Jan 31, 2006, 10:08 PM

Oh wow! A married man with 4 kids, with a sick wife, and having an affair? He's definitely a winner!
I never could understand how it is that out of all the single men in the world women find themselves head over heels in love with the most unavailable one they can find.
If he does leave his wife (NOT) he has a heck of a mess to clean up, and if you stay with him, this means that you as well have a mop and a broom to grab 'cause you are in it too. No judge in the world will award him anything (maybe the kids due to his wife's health) because she is ill, and he is having an affair. That one would really go over well with the judge.
Chances are him and his 4 children would have to move in with you, he now has a lot of medical bills that he has to help pay for, maybe alimony, and 4 mouths to feed on his own. No, he has you so that now makes you stepmom, court cost, court visits, attorney fees, a now ex-wife that will make sure that you two do not live happily ever after... He's not as attractive as you though he was right about now is he? Find yourself a single man and save yourself from the 3 aches of the head, heart, and rearend!

Wildcat21 · Feb 1, 2006, 08:33 AM

People want what they can't have - this guy is totally unavailable.

lickemlolly · Feb 10, 2006, 05:38 PM

All right guys I have heard and thought all of this already... and just because a married man is having an affair does not make him a bad person or a loser because there are always two sides of a story... im entertaining myself right now... just came out of a 2 yr relationship and I'm not really looking to get serious... so why can I not have fun while it lasts? The man gives me money has gotten me a house so what's wrong with riding the wave... I just wanted to know what were the chances of if it got serious would he make that move... I KNOW it is entirely possible because my best friend has been married for 19 years with 3 kids and he just left his wife for another woman... they are getting a divorce... always remember there are 2 sides to a story... just because he's having an affair does not make him a bad guy...

Fr_Chuck · Feb 10, 2006, 06:59 PM

Let me see, if he leaves his wife and she keeps the kids, he pays most of his pay in child support and alimony for the sick wife

If he leaves her and he keeps the kids, you will be hated by 4 kids you have to raise.

And the 3 percent chance is 2 and 1/2 more than I give it,

Of course he is not going to leave his wife, he will have an excuse for years.

Wildcat21 · Feb 10, 2006, 07:18 PM

"just because a married man is having an affair does not make him a bad person or a loser" - yes it does - 1000% End of story.

Ask him to get a divorce... he will run!

It's VERY selfish on your part. I feel bad for his kids.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2006, 08:00 PM

Naw,he's a selfish looser,with a sick wife and four kids he's out getting his rocks off,with some floozey who doesn't care about him at all ,Naw he isn't a bad guy just a little stupid and selfish,but at least he has the money to buy him some love time so he can't be too bad can he,why don't you ask his wife and see what she thinks.As for your "ride"I hope you take all this fools money and when you need more go get another fool with cash,Hey what a career move you could make a nice living taking a fools money and never have to get off your backHMM! Sorry I got no sympathy for people like you and your so-called boyfreind as you both deserve... nothing but misery!:cool: :p

letmeno · Feb 10, 2006, 08:18 PM

Now you can't possible tell me that you don't have an ounce of guilt behind what you are doing! You are taking money from this man... he has 1 2 3 4 mouths to feed, and a sick wife with plenty of medical bills and medication that he could be using this money for. You are riding a wave at the expense of 1 2 3 4 5 other people here. Take it from a person who has been there and done it too... nothing comes without a price. The money the house everything he has done for you sooner or later you are going to have to pay for it. I just hope that whatever it is... you can afford it.

lickemlolly · Feb 11, 2006, 07:51 PM

I'm not a floozy and this is not a sexual rship even though all of you seem to assume it is... I don't need sympathy... and just because you don't understand something does not give you the right to talk them down... it was a hypathetical question and I wanted an opinion I have no intention of staying with this person nor do I want him to leave his wife... it was a QUESTION... my mom had an affair for years and I never hated her for it because she told him for years that she wanted it to be over and he wouldn't let her go... so think about that for those that know it all... this post was only meant for wildcat and I said that from jump

lickemlolly · Feb 11, 2006, 08:02 PM

And second... dont post to my question if you are going to judge me... I don't lay on my back I work hard for my money and no one has given me a thing until now... we enjoy good company the both of us end of story...

lilfyre · Feb 11, 2006, 08:21 PM

this post was only meant for wildcat and I said that from jump

Not to be rude or disrespectful, but you should have used the email part of askmehelp and you would not be going round and round with all of the posts that you did not want to hear, and will not offer my post because I know you would not want to hear it.:eek:

lickemlolly · Feb 11, 2006, 08:24 PM

Its not that I don't want to hear them I don't like the judgmental ones... give your opionion please but bear in mind that it is a HYPOTHETICAL question... I really don't see anything happening btwn us I just wanted to see what others thought...

talaniman · Feb 11, 2006, 09:17 PM

As I've said before we cannot know what the fact are unless they are presented before us and we can only go by what you say.Had I known this was hypothetical my whole attitude would have been different, and I wouldn't have attacked you personaly.What ever your life situation is I sincerely hope for the best for you and if you do ever need help I hope you bring it back here with more facts of course,I for one don't mind reading long post if it will give me enough to at least help you,tough love notwithstanding!:cool: