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lovepain · Dec 17, 2008, 08:02 AM

I don't understand why my boyfriend is ignoring me.
We've been dating for 4 years...
And this long distance that's been happening for 2 years now is killing me. I see him every 3 months. When he gets mad, he stays quiet for day, or weeks, or even months. I get so paranoid and insecure that he's not replying or answering my calls.
What can I do to get him to reply me? Or answer my calls?
I know he's busy with work... but I seriously feel like killing myself cause of this.

450donn · Dec 17, 2008, 02:00 PM

Long distance relationships rarely work for very long. Why not break up with him and move on? It's not like you are married to him and trying to maintain this sort of thing.

chiquitavallejo · Dec 17, 2008, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by 450donn

Long distance relationships rarely work for very long. Why not break up with him and move on? It's not like you are married to him and trying to maintain this sort of thing.

OK MUCH easier said than done. I've been in more than one long distance relationship before. They're no fun, I know. You just have to remember, as hard as it is, if both of you are willing to make it work, then it will work. Talk to him oneday and let him know you are feeling a little insecure... no whining or crying or any of that, it might freak him out. But just simply let him know you'd like him to know that you'd like to make it work, and ask if he wants the same.

Also, make sure both of you know that its going to be hard, you guys are going to have rough spots. But if you're willing, always be there for him, and if he's willing, he'll always be there for you.

If its not going to work, as hard as it is, figure it out sooner than later. Whatever happens, you will continue and get over it and survive.

AManWithNoName · Dec 17, 2008, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by lovepain

i dont understand why my boyfriend is ignoring me.
we've been dating for 4 years...
and this long distance thats been happening for 2 years now is killing me. I see him every 3 months. When he gets mad, he stays quiet for day, or weeks, or even months. I get so paranoid and insecure that he's not replying or answering my calls.
what can i do to get him to reply me? or answer my calls?
I know he's busy with work...but i seriously feel like killing myself cause of this.

Dump him, christ, what's up with people and this love thing, OK I've been in love, but love is temporary, he probubly doesn't feel the same way that you do, and if you want him to be happy, if you truly "love" him, end the relationship

elena3117 · Dec 17, 2008, 02:59 PM

Are u OK with this situation? I guess not... OK distance is hard but as you have said "i seriously feel like killing myself cause of this." Does he deserves it?? I know it's extremely hard for you to put an end but where is this going to end?? To my opinion either you or he will find an other person and that end is even more heartbreaking... At least if you break up with him now you will have good memories and I believe you will be releaved... Try it

DoulaLC · Dec 17, 2008, 04:37 PM

How do you get him to respond to you or contact you? You can't... you can't make someone feel what they don't feel, no matter how much you want to.

Sounds like you are in a relationship of convenience. He gets in contact with you when it is convenient for him... and you are sitting there waiting for him.

I can understand maybe going a few days without talking, but weeks and especially months is quite unusual. Not much of a relationship is it?

Might be time to step back and re-evaluate the situation and decide if this is the sort of relationship you want to have with someone. Do you really want to be with someone who handles their anger by ignoring you for months?

I suspect not, so consider taking the hint... doesn't sound like he is as invested or interested in having a relationship with you as you are with him.

Tell him what you think... give him a chance to have his say. If he wants to make a go of it, then he will need to be a much more involved participant in order for it to work out. His actions so far, however, have been speaking pretty loudly as to how he feels.
Good luck!

dazzling · Dec 17, 2008, 06:06 PM

U need to reevaluate the relationship.

It is unusual for long distance couples not to talk after all that's all you have is the phone!

I totally understand how you feel. I was away from my husband for a year and even if we did not talk for a whole day, it killed me. ( but he was worth it, and I worked really hard to transfer my work to his city)

Next time you see your boyfriend, ask him if he still wants to continue with the relationship. Is he willing to do whatever it is going to take to make it work? Is he still into you or this is too much for him and is he dating others?

If he does want to still be in the relationship, then one of you has to make the sacrifice and move in to the same town. Because you cannot have a permanent relationship like this.

Try and pay him a surprise visit. Just show up. See if he is happy to see you or he seems like he is caught...

U just look deep inside your heart to figure out if he is the one and whether both of you are willing to make some changes. If not, find someone else in your area.

Good luck.

Serri · Dec 19, 2008, 01:10 PM

Just curious... do you two plan on being so far apart for the rest of your life? Or is there an end to this distance in the future? If so keep working at it! If not, I think you need to ask yourself a question along the lines of "is this worth it?"