Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    butterfli2311's Avatar
    butterfli2311 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 21, 2012, 09:24 PM
    Lied to parents about boyfriend.. now have to choose family or boyfriend
    I met this guy and we really hit it off well. I go to college full time and he goes to college part time because he works. We live 7 hrs away from each other. I told my mom I liked him and she didn't like me talking with him a lot. I am 21 and he is 29. I am white and he is Brazilian. She told me I needed to.tell my father when.he was going through.a bad time with.my.brother or if I talked with him I would.get disowned. So I told her I.chose her which I did but I really missed him and talked.with him online . Summer came and I visited.him and would hang out and sleep over his house. One day family found out I lied.to them for three months. Family made me choose boyfriend or them. I chose my family but I truly miss my.boyfriend. He works at a school as.a computer technician and is going to college to be a networking administrator. My parents don't think he is good enough for me. Is there any way I can fix this and get my.boyfriend back?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 21, 2012, 09:34 PM
    What's with all the (.) all over your post. A (.) is a period and ends a sentence. It's not just for decoration! Your post is really hard to read because of all the (.) in it. For example;

    She told me I needed to.tell my father when.he was going through.a bad time with.my.brother
    That reads as.

    She told me I need to. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) tell my father when. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) he was going through. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) a bad time with. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) my. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) brother. (end sentence)

    Please, take some time to write your posts. You're in college, you should know what a period is used for.

    Having said that, you're 21. Who you choose to date is up to you. Is this guy worth possibly losing your family over?
    butterfli2311's Avatar
    butterfli2311 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 21, 2012, 09:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    What's with all the (.) all over your post. A (.) is a period and ends a sentence. It's not just for decoration! Your post is really hard to read because of all the (.) in it. For example;



    That reads as.

    She told me I need to. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) tell my father when. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) he was going through. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) a bad time with. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) my. (end sentence)
    (new sentence) brother. (end sentence)

    Please, take some time to write your posts. You're in college, you should know what a period is used for.

    Having said that, you're 21. Who you choose to date is up to you. Is this guy worth possibly losing your family over?
    First off I know what a sentence is and I know that a period ends it. I am using my phone and my keyboard is small. Therefore when I hit ky space bar sometimes I hit the period key which is exactly to the right of it. I am tired it is past midnight where I am and didn't feel like correcting my post. I believe if I was able to date him he would be very important. However I was not sure if he was worth losing my family over; that is why I chose my family. I want to know if there is a way to be able to date my ex again.
    butterfli2311's Avatar
    butterfli2311 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 21, 2012, 09:43 PM
    *my
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 21, 2012, 11:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by butterfli2311 View Post
    First off I know what a sentence is and I know that a period ends it. I am using my phone and my keyboard is small. Therefore when I hit ky space bar sometimes I hit the period key which is exactly to the right of it. I am tired it is past midnight where I am and didn't feel like correcting my post. I believe if I was able to date him he would be very important. However I was not sure if he was worth losing my family over; that is why I chose my family. I want to know if there is a way to be able to date my ex again.
    It sounds like your parents are very strict, and very adamant that they don't want this man in your life. Again, you're not a child, you're an adult, you can date whomever you want.

    If your parents are willing to disown you for dating someone they don't approve of, then maybe they're not worth holding onto. Will anyone ever be good enough? Do they feel they have the right to choose for you?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #6

    Aug 22, 2012, 02:24 AM
    Are you beholden to your family financially while in college?
    Because otherwise I can't imagine a 21 year old bowing to pressure like this, and it just doesn't sound like you are in love enough to stand up to them. Millions of young people stand up to parents each year for love. Your father sounds much too strict. Maybe that's why your brother is having so many problems.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 22, 2012, 06:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Are you beholden to your family financially while in college?
    Because otherwise I can't imagine a 21 year old bowing to pressure like this, and it just doesn't sound like you are in love enough to stand up to them. Millions of young people stand up to parents each year for love. Your father sounds much too strict. Maybe that's why your brother is having so many problems.
    I just want to point out that the parents may be more strict because of problems with the brother or events from the past.

    Butterfli, as a parent, I am concerned about a daughter who lies about her whereabouts as well as who she is seeing. This man lives seven hours away which means that spending time with him was more than a day trip. Do you live in your parents' home? Where did your parents think you were? Are your parents worried that you might follow in your brother's footsteps? Are they wanting you to spend more time on studies than on romantic relationships?

    I will say that I don't know if your family is over-reacting, harsh, strict or not because I don't know what you told them about him. I don't know if you are leaving details out to make him look better or if you are enhancing others to make your family look worse. I don't know if there is something in your past that is causing them to react the way they are or if they are concerned about your future.

    I do know that lying about the relationship and where you are isn't going to help them feel better about your ability to make choices about your life. If you are going to make adult decisions, then stand by them.

    I am curious as to how you met this man if he lives seven hours away. Do you go to college in his city?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,792, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 22, 2012, 08:32 AM
    How are you dating this guy if he lives so far away? Is your seeing him interfering with your education?
    At 21 you are old enough to make your own decisions but on some level you agreed with your parents, maybe that was a good choice.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Can a 16 year old choose to not live with her parents or any other immediate family? [ 1 Answers ]

Okay my friend has asked me to help her out, she wishes not to live with her family because they way they treat her, they emotinaly bully her for controle over her. She wants me to find out if she can decide whether she lives with them or can come live with me. I haven't had much luck looking for...

I lied and I can't regain my parents' trust. [ 6 Answers ]

Help! I am 11 and I lied to my parents about finishing my schoolwork, I know, bad reason, but can you please help me how to regain their trust?

I lied to my parents about my boyfriend and got caught [ 2 Answers ]

There is this guy and I met him through a friend of mine and we became best best friends and then he started getting feelings for me and so did I so while later he asked me out and I said yes but I am not aloud to date so I kept it a secret and we changed our relationship status on fb so I had to...

Wwhat to do if you want to leave your parents and join another family withou parents [ 5 Answers ]

What should I do when I want to leave my family and join another at 16-years old?

I lied to my parents and I can`t tell them the truth [ 6 Answers ]

I`ve been dating this guy, he`s really sweet. Like the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. He only cares about me, nothing else. He`s paranoid about me. Thar is just freaking me out, he keeps talking about our future and when we`re moving to live together... That`s sweet, right? It means he`s not...


View more questions Search