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Blunt Truth · Mar 12, 2009, 09:05 PM

All right I've been talking to this girl who's the same age as I and we've been talking for about uhh hell 3 or more weeks well about 4 months ago she had broke up wit a boyfriend in which they dated for 2 years and lived wit each other and a bunch of other bs well I've kept contact and all wit her and we been talking serious for the last 3 weeks and all well I've gottin her gifts and taken her out and been there for her and just been the awsome guy I am and also she had told me that she wanted proof well its been 3 weeks of proof and well just tonight I told her how I felt about her and how id like her to be my girl cause I don't want to keep wasting my time with someone who's either using me to make themselves feel better or just all around being used well she tells me that she has built somekind of wall around her heart and nonsense but she's like don't think I'm not giving you a chance so I told her ill just keep trying to win her heart... well I just want to know wats up wit her any help would be really really apprecitated

Stringer · Mar 12, 2009, 09:20 PM

I would like to know what kind of break up she had with her previous boyfriend? You said that she broke up with him, was it something that he did to hurt her?

There could be many reasons she is 'protecting' herself, one or two may be;

She was hurt very deeply and is not over that and thus afraid to trust any guy at this point, OR...

She is still in love with this guy, no matter what she may be telling you. She may consider that last relationship as unfinished business.

Actually a month is a very short period for a new relationship of any kind. And as you said, it has only been four months or so since the last relationship ended. You can't read her mind or her heart but she is telling you that she is in a 'shell' at this time.

It is my experience that the first relationship after the break up of a long serious one does usually not work out, yes I know that there are exception but I feel that they are few.

For whatever the reason, she does not seem ready at all. My advice to you would be to protect yourself, don't set yourself up for some heartbreak also.

In any case, I believe that since she has told you how she feels now, it is way to soon to build something on a shaky foundation.

Stringer

Blunt Truth · Mar 12, 2009, 09:28 PM

Stringer[/QUOTE]

Right her last relationship was a strong one a really strong 1 I'm guessing and she does say she has a problem with trusting people but she's told me she trust me and she says to give it time but that's were I go back to being used I don't want to spend my time with her just to be turned down in the end I'm also tutoring her on all of her classes and its constant connection she agrees but she just is confusing me and I've laways had a problem with setting myself up with heart brakes

Stringer · Mar 12, 2009, 09:44 PM

I am not saying not to be with her, but I would go cautiously, don't lead with your heart until she steps across to you if that happens. All you can go with is what she is telling you. Listen to her words at this time, not your heart.

Along with this she is still apparently harboring feelings for the last guy she is probably feeling needy in many ways. Don't confuse that for something that it is not.

Stringer

Blunt Truth · Mar 12, 2009, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by Stringer

I am not saying not to be with her, but I would go cautiously, don't lead with your heart until she steps across to you if that happens. All you can go with is what she is telling you. Listen to her words at this time, not your heart.

Along with this she is still apparently harboring feelings for the last guy she is probably feeling needy in many ways. Don't confuse that for something that it is not.

Stringer

I see exactly what your saying I should still keep being the way I am but to slow down and take er eazy lol and to let things play out themselves

rawr_itssonya · Mar 12, 2009, 10:32 PM

She probably just needs time and space to recover from her previous relationship. After being with someone who you've dated(and especially lived with) for a long time, it takes time to bounce back into the dating world. Give her some time to heal her emotional wounds and move on, and I'm sure pretty soon she'll realize what a great guy you are, and if she doesn't then there are millions of women out there waiting for a guy like you

Stringer · Mar 12, 2009, 10:33 PM

Yep, otherwise (in my opinion) you will be letting yourself in for some possible rough times...

Stringer