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AinMalaysia · Apr 10, 2011, 02:42 AM

I feel so clueless right now I am seeking out any advice I can get.

I am from the US and moved to Malaysia with my boyfriend to teach about 2 years ago. They have been the best two years of my life but just today, four days short of our 3 year anniversary, he told me that he is not in love with me any more.

I started the discussion with him by asking if we could talk about our relationship because I had been feeling like he was very distant lately. I wanted to talk about what we could do about it and this is what came out.

One of the major issues is that first, I do not have a very big support network here. All of our friends have been both of our friends since we just moved to a new country. Second, we had decided about three months ago to look for more jobs at international schools and signed contracts for Africa in July.

I feel so far from anyone who can help and have no idea what I can do. I love him so much and we had been, until recently, talking about making a life of this.

Please help and send some advice.

amicon · Apr 10, 2011, 08:28 AM

So,what else was said?

Does he want to break up with you?

You need to get things sorted out so you know where you stand,then start organise your life so it gets back on track again.

Can you get in touch with family and friends-Skype,email,and get some support?

talaniman · Apr 10, 2011, 09:00 AM

Unfortunate that you signed a contract, but I would be looking for something else elsewhere in light of these sudden developments, and would plan on a clean break socially from this fellow if it comes down to breaking your contract.

I understand your fear of relocating and rebuilding without him, I really do, but see it as a necessary step you must take for yourself, for your own future, and accept he will NOT be a part of it.

In this way you will focus on what you do for yourself, and not waste time trying to change his mind.

Make a clean and deliberate effort that's about what's best for YOU, and your own future.

monsterniki · Apr 22, 2011, 04:55 PM

Well I don't see why you two can't be friends and working it out on a business basis. But if you are not bound in Africa then leave but if you do have duties to fulfill then work through the brakup.

HeatherDawn24 · Jun 20, 2011, 02:44 AM

Ok people could by your story and turn it into a movie! I'm sorry I really am! If he truly doesn't love you then there is nothing you can do! But if there is a hidden reason behind this(and you should try to find that out very soon) no matter what it is you could try to do something and keep him! If he doesn't believe you're the one you cannot force the relationship. When you talk to him about this be strong and do not cry! You don't want a pity relationship because of your tears and big round eyes! Above all else figure out what you want! I mean is this really what you want for yourself! Are you going to look back on your decision and be happy about it with no regrets?? Make yourself happy! Best of luck to you!