Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
    nizhulei's Avatar
    nizhulei Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 3, 2011, 05:23 AM
    I'm gay and I've fallen in love with Straight.
    Everybody if you have any advices just tell me ***, I really need it now.

    He knows that I'm gay . At school , I sit next to him and he is really good with me. I did everything I that I could. He knows that I love him so much but he doesn't love me. He doesn't hate me at all. We talk like best friend.And now, He treat me like a girl now. But he said that he couldn't love me, and wanted to be my friend forever.

    Does anyone have experience in this situation? *** tell me if you have. I really know what to do. I heart aches all the time. When I saw him treat another girl as good as me , I really want to cry. Thanks for all your helpful messages .
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645

    Jan 3, 2011, 05:25 AM

    How old are you?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Jan 3, 2011, 07:43 AM

    Age is important... we need to know it.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:38 PM
    Tick... tick... tick...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    Jan 5, 2011, 06:01 PM

    Well even without age this is easy, you don't do anything, he is not gay, he is not interested in dating you, and you do't love him, you have desires, or feelings, but love takes both to desire.

    So you are going to ruin a friendship and a lot more in the future, if you can't learn that friends are friends, and people you date while can be friends, are not every person you are friends with.

    I would "love" to have dated Janet Jackson, but guess what it is not gong to happen. So you decide if you want to ruin a friendship or if you want to learn to control your hormones
    nizhulei's Avatar
    nizhulei Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 6, 2011, 04:56 AM
    Comment on J_9's post
    16 .
    nizhulei's Avatar
    nizhulei Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 6, 2011, 04:56 AM
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    YES. THANKS. Sometimes I wish I don't have hormones
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443

    Jan 6, 2011, 06:10 AM

    Moved FROM Adult Sexuality.

    We can still give this young man advice on dating--just not in that forum.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Jan 6, 2011, 07:45 AM

    You fell in lust with them HUGE difference from falling in love.

    Consider they are straight and thus likely won't feel the same way, and worse... might get offended. They odds of them simply responding "...Oh yes nizhulei, I don't know what I saw in all those girls anyway..." are going to be pretty slim. Damn remote in fact.

    You said they are straight... you don't even suspect they might swing both ways much less be gay.

    Best to walk away. As you would with anyone partnered up already.
    TemporalWave's Avatar
    TemporalWave Posts: 3, Reputation: -3
    New Member

    Jan 9, 2011, 01:05 PM
    I have experience in these matters. You see, I am only attracted to a straight man. I feel no pressure and know he isn't just trying to get to my junk. I've had both type of relationships with them. Type A is when he is OK with your sexuality and doesn't care what people on the "outside" think of him for it. This is identical to two straight buddies, there is no sex. I am always perfectly happy with that and consider myself lucky to have such a good friend. There is type B and in this sort the straight guy makes a move. My reaction depends on if I am physically attracted to him or not, if he has a girlfriend or not. Depending on the guy and situation I may say OK or I may say no thank you. I can satisfy his immediate need but that has always been just it, he has a need and I satisfy it until I become tired of the game and I initiate the drift apart. One guy was very loving towards me but he maintained a girlfriend and sensing that I would eventually get hurt I decided to break it off. He was very hurt by it. I didn't want to screw his life up for him. He got married and has kids now. We occasionally run into each other and he is civil as am I but there is a distance. It is toughest on me because I have come to realize he was the best match for me yet. He is lost to me now though and I can never again have with him what I once did. Now some 27 years later I still think about him, but I have a new straight buddy who I love to pieces but there is no force on this earth that could make me tell him so. He has to come on to me and that's that. At one point I believe he was scrapping with his old lady and he told me he thought he was going to have to move in with me. That would be very hard for me, and I know he would eventually go back to her. I have no chance. There again I am happy with the friendship, only women **** their best friend. I hate them for that.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443

    Jan 9, 2011, 07:17 PM

    You know... gay men who are only attracted to straight men remind me of the people that are only attracted to people who are already in a relationship.

    You need to get over it, frankly.

    Those people are never going to be what you want them to be. NEVER. Even if they cross over for you for a short time, they're STRAIGHT. They won't be there for you long-term.

    If you can't get past that, then you need to get counseling with a licensed professional with experience in these matters. Otherwise you're going to end up bitter and alone and wondering why--when really, the issue is that you won't move past your own boundaries for whatever reason.
    TemporalWave's Avatar
    TemporalWave Posts: 3, Reputation: -3
    New Member

    Jan 10, 2011, 05:09 PM
    Comment on Synnen's post
    I received email notification that Synnen responded to my post. I do hope Synnen that your comment was not directed at me and that you do recognize that Nizhulie was the individual asking for responses to his question.
    TemporalWave's Avatar
    TemporalWave Posts: 3, Reputation: -3
    New Member

    Jan 10, 2011, 05:34 PM
    Nizhulei, I was attempting to relay my experience to you and in reading it you would see that you are simply in a no-win situation. If he wants to have a try with you and even if this lasts for some period, you will just be getting used and nobody wants that for themselves, you're better than that. In getting a relationship to work there are no guarantees. You sound a bit like me in that you probably don't enjoy being around feminine men and if you did why not just settle for a woman? Liking a straight guy isn't as strange as some may try to tell you it is. Women especially freak out at the thoughts of straight guy experimenting with another man and are quick to say HE'S GAY! HE'S GAY! When the correct moniker would be Bi. I find it disgusting that straight women AND straight men are much more accepting of female on female experimentation and very very quick to condemn men for doing the same. That my friend is a double standard.
    Mexhog's Avatar
    Mexhog Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 14, 2011, 04:01 PM
    Well, as sad as it could be, you have to move on and find a nice guy to be your boyfriend because no straight man likes another one but for friendship any other kind of relationship turns a man into gay-bisexual person.
    I think this is kind of "i want to get what i can't" if this friend of yours is really straight you will never get other thing than his frienship so you have to face that fact.
    Best regards.
    7ujh6's Avatar
    7ujh6 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 7, 2012, 06:39 PM
    I agree with all the comments you have made, yes it is probably for the best to leave your crush and yes I agree you shouldn't hurt yourself over someone who doesn't care for you, however is there not a delicate approach to stating this. The comments above where blunt precise and cynical. Ruining a relationship is always hard, but sometimes it can't be helped what is it to be in a relationship that you hate of is insufferable than to not live in one at all. If you feel that you love your friend and he rejected you that is no reason to hide or restrict your feelings, but it may be time to look else where. You do not have to erase or suppress your feeling for him all together that isn't healthy but get out and get away from him so you can get over him being by his side your whole life with unrequited feeling is torturous and this is a fate that we are trying to escape. Are we not?

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.

Check out some similar questions!

I'm straight but I think I'm in love with my gay best friend. [ 6 Answers ]

So a few days ago my best friend told me he was gay. I'm the only person he's told so I'm really flattered that he told me, but ever since he told me he was gay I can't get him out of my mind and I can't stop thinking about him. And I think I've started to like him more than a best friend. Now I've...

Middle aged Gay Man in love with a married straight man [ 30 Answers ]

I've lived a long time and had many experiences but this one is driving me crazy. In my younger days I've had bedded straight married men and didn't find it satisfying because I was in it for love and they were in it for sex. That was 25 years ago, now here I am 25 years older and wiser and find...

Gay in love with straight [ 39 Answers ]

I am 53 married and in love with a 30 years old straight guy for the last 12 years. He loves me a great deal. We have sex regularly. In the beginning he was a little awkward but now he is passionate. There is one problem though. He is attracted to girls. In the past he never used to date girls as...

Another gay man in love with straight guy? [ 13 Answers ]

Ok... I am going to write about something that is driving me crazy and is so weird and strange its unbelivable. I am a 37 gay man and in love with another man which I work with. This other man has been around the block a few times and has vast experience in life, work and love. He has travelled...

I am a gay and I have fallen in love with my teacher [ 6 Answers ]

First of all I want to thank you all for helping me in this tough time of my life. My problem is that I am a 19 year old gay who has fallen in love with his 34 years old straight english teacher. He is married and knows about my sexuality and is perfectly all right with it. Its been 7 mnths...

View more questions Search