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    damnineedhelp's Avatar
    damnineedhelp Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 12, 2011, 05:57 AM
    How should I act with someone who has no interest in having a relationship with me?
    Hello! Here's the story: I met a girl through a friend who broke up 1 month ago with her boyfriend after a 2 years relationship. She told me it happened because he beat her and also she couldn't see no future alongside him. Basically we first met like 3 days after they broke up, and yesterday ( after about a month ) she told me that right now she doesn't want any relationship cause she still suffers. What should I do? I like her very much and as she said,we have a lot of things in common. She also said if things were different, we would be together. Should I talk to her and see her everyday ( worst case scenario: she would see me just as a friend ) or should I stop talking to her,until she realizes what she wants?

    How should I behave, since I am a "nice guy"? Obviously, someone who acts more like a "player" would have more chances. I told her this, and she knows and understands me, that I have no intention of just being friends. But we talk every day and we meet 3-4 times a week.

    Is there any chance for me to make her my girlfriend, given the situation?

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    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Oct 17, 2011, 12:10 PM
    First of all, give the poor girl time to heal! You don't want to be a rebound.

    My suggestion is to continue to be her friend and get her know her (and she get to know you). Even if she has more boyfriends, you can be the anchor in her life. Someday she will finally realize how much you really mean to her.

    So cool your jets, and just be a good friend for now.
    damnineedhelp's Avatar
    damnineedhelp Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 18, 2011, 04:00 PM
    Well yeah,but if I'm going to be a good friend for now, like close to her,won't she want me to remain her friend?This is the thing...
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Oct 18, 2011, 04:05 PM
    She might want to remain friends only, she might fall madly in love with you, and she might tell you goodbye.

    There's no guarantee of what she will do. Do you want to give it a try? Or move on?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Oct 18, 2011, 05:36 PM
    If you can't be a good friend with no hidden agenda, or motives then that's great. She just came from a relationship, and it may take years for her to get over it. Forget the romance, and don't crowd her or become her emotional tampon either by spending too much time with her, and not living your life as you did before she came along. You are sure to fall to deep if you do, and people in love make lousy friends.

    People who have been hurt badly make lousy partners, no matter what you may have in common. She doesn't want a romance, she wants a understanding, supportive friend. There has to be other chances for romance beside her, and a nice guy like you should just play this honestly. She ain't for you so don't get carried away.

    Keep it real, for you both.

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