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adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 01:33 PM

I have been dating a girl for one month now, and things are great. I have been with a few and she has been with only one guy. So, it isn't like we are virgins or anything. Well, she is wanting it to be romantic for our first time which I understand completely. I just want some advice on how to be romantic. I would wait forever for her, but we have talked and we know that we both want it. So, I took some vacation time from work about a month from now, and I was trying to plan something. We will be staying in a cabin in gatlinburg tenessee. It has a hot tub and heart shaped jacuzzi and its amazing. I just want to know things that would blow her mind. Just a day or night of amazingness that would make her never forget. Can anyone relate or help?

Thanks!

adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 01:46 PM

Can anyone give me advice? Please?

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 01:56 PM

Are you wanting advice on the whole night? What do you have planned so far? Are you going to dinner? Making dinner? Would she be interested in a massage. I'll tell you what I like. I like when my husband tells me to dress up, doesn't tell me where we're going so it's a surprise. He'll usually take me to a nice restaurant and then we'll go home and watch a movie, cuddle, and then things kind of progress from there. I don't know how specific of details you want...

adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 02:15 PM

That sounds pretty good. I appreciate your input. I would like some pretty good details. It doesn't have to be step by step. I was thinking about taking her for a nice dinner, or maybe a candle lit dinner, Then spend some time in the jacuzzi or hot tub. And she like massages, so I thought while I was giving her a massage, something might go from there. But I still want her to have the most romantic night ever

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 02:22 PM

It sounds like you're on the right track. A candle lit dinner is always nice. We like to go to this Italian place here in town and the lights are kind of dim. It's very romantic.

adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 02:26 PM

Ok, thanks a lot. She loves italian. I take her to this one italian like once a week though. I wish I could make good italian food. Im an OK cook, but I want it to be perfect. So, I don't want to mess up this once when it is supposed to be perfect

asking · Nov 17, 2008, 02:32 PM

I think it's great that you are planning this and really care, but don't forget to leave room for both of you to just be yourselves and spontaneous. Remember that when the time comes, to relax and enjoy the time together. Also ask her whether she wants you to plan it all or if she wants to be involved.

Some women like for the man to plan everything ahead of time, but other women want a little more flexibility in the plan so they feel like it's spontaneous or that they are making things happen too. She might like you to plan the place and the dinner, but not every detail of the love making itself. That's definitely for two people to decide. You can go equipped with some ideas, but a first time is often more about getting to know each other than the makings of a perfect memory. And that's okay!

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 02:33 PM

If you're feeling risky there's a recipe for lasagne on the back of most lasagne noodle boxes. Super easy! Pair that with some salad and garlic bread and you're set- that's only if you feel comfortable with cooking. I cannot tell you how easy it is to make if you read through the directions.

asking · Nov 17, 2008, 02:40 PM

I recommend the book, The Five Languages of Love, by Gary Chapman. Figure out what kind of love your fiancé likes and shower her with it. Does she like you to do things for her? Does she like small gifts? Does she like physical cuddling? Does she like you to say positive and supportive things to her? Figure out what she likes best. You can' t go wrong. :)

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 02:43 PM

The Five Love Languages

adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 02:44 PM

Thank you both! I might try making something after all. I am a pretty decent cook. And to Asking: I do all kinds of things for her when I get the chance. I usuall surprise her with litte smaell gifts sometimes, we cuddle at the end of every night that we are together, I always tell her how beautiful and perfect and amazing she is, because she never had that in the past, Is that good?

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 02:50 PM

You're doing awesome! Keep it up!

adam_89 · Nov 17, 2008, 02:56 PM

Thanks a lot!

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 03:00 PM

You're welcome ;)

asking · Nov 17, 2008, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by adam_89

Thank you both! I might try making something after all. I am a pretty decent cook. And to Asking: I do all kinds of things for her when i get the chance. I usuall surprise her with litte smaell gifts sometimes, we cuddle at the end of every night that we are together, i always tell her how beautiful and perfect and amazing she is, because she never had that in the past, Is that good?

Yes, it's good!

But, according to this book, different people respond better to different kinds of love, so your task is to figure out which one(s) make her feel MOST loved. Of course, it's just a self help book with an angle, but I thought there was something to it. For example, I think I like cuddling and quality time more than having somebody praise me, which sometimes makes me self conscious or uncomfortable, like I have to live up to the praise. Other people thrive on positive words. You know. Everybody's different...

I like the idea of cooking, too. That's falls in the classification of" service." If she likes having you do things for her, she will love that.

ZoeMarie · Nov 17, 2008, 03:06 PM

I agree with asking about finding out what kind of love language she is but at the same time I think anyone appreciates when someone goes out of their way for them. You can tell that you care about her and that's important. I'm sure she sees that too.

adam_89 · Nov 18, 2008, 06:18 AM

That's a great idea. I will work on finding out what she enjoys most, and focus on that, or shower her with that love. I love her a lot and I just want her to know that. I appreciate your help!