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    blueroselove199's Avatar
    blueroselove199 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 14, 2018, 02:12 AM
    How do I prove to him I'm more?
    The guy I'm seeing is still in love with a girl he used to sleep with. Normally I wouldn't be so upset about it, but I've moved in with him and he keeps saying that when she's out of jail, she's going to move in. And he has kids and I'm raising them amd takimg care of them as of they are my own but I still feel as of he would prefer her even though I've heard not so good things about her. How do I prove to him that I am more than she will ever be?
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 3,998, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 14, 2018, 04:40 AM
    It sounds like you are doing all of the hard work while he waits for her to get out of jail. You’ve moved in, take care of his kids, etc. You didn’t say you love him, yet you are living with someone still in love with the mother of his children. I’m not sure how old you are, or what you do for a living, but I have to wonder what you are getting out of this relationship? Why do you stay?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Mar 14, 2018, 04:56 AM
    How long have you been dating, and how long has she been in jail? What is she in jail for? How long before she is out of jail? Has he ever been to jail? Whose house is it? What gives you hope that you can replace his baby mama after he told you that you can't, and are just the live in babysitter with benefits? The best you can ever hope for when his baby mama is released is the chick on the side maybe, and will need a place to stay no doubt. So my question is what makes this guy worth your dignity and self respect and is this just another guy you have latched onto hoping he will give you more than just a hook up? I wonder how many times his baby mama has gone to jail and he has taken in a live in baby sitter with benefits until she gets out?

    This whole situation has more questions than answers and sure appears to be a no win situation for you, and that's exactly what he has told you, so changing his mind may not be possible. Did you know all this when you decided to move in with him? I would be grateful for your answers to my questions, but I doubt you can change his mind if she will be out of jail soon. Even if you have years what makes you think you will be his only candidate for mommy replacement?

    Why him, and not someone more available?
    blueroselove199's Avatar
    blueroselove199 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 14, 2018, 08:05 AM
    It's not the mother of the kids he still loves, it's just some girl he used to sleep with that kept promising she was going to break up with her boyfriend to bring with him but never did. I know that situation, my mother went through that once so I know it's not worth it but he doesn't see it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Mar 14, 2018, 09:24 AM
    If you would care to share the answers to my questions maybe we can get a CLEAR picture of what exactly you are talking about.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    Mar 14, 2018, 01:38 PM
    You do not ever "PROVE" something and there is no way to "MAKE" someone love or have feelings. All we can do is be honest with them, give them some time and hope.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Mar 14, 2018, 02:22 PM
    LEAVE HIM like yesterday, good grief.
    How do WE prove to YOU that you are better than this? Easy! Any woman is better than this. He is playing you for a fool, and you have no sense of self worth.

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